PyratePhil

I try...

Removes his swords, his daggers, his whip, his flogger, his staff, his club, his baton, his mace, his pepper spray, his... ... ... ...gonna be here for a while, M'Lady?

May I join you on this glorious eve?

Sorry - I'll owe you one or three...

MUCH, much better! Pink Floyd - Umma Gumma

Rather than be consternated Better to be twitterpated When you're so illuminated You'll forget you're constipated Burma Shave

(PPhil comes in after a long day, hot, sweating, smelly, with grungy clothes dripping with filth, and stands astraddle William -) Can I play too?

PPhil strolls by and hears her sigh... Looks once - twice - she's caught his eye... Addresses her, not as Doreen or Sadie, But simply, "Good evening, M'Lady"

Is that anything like checkmate or CoffeeMate?

Thank ye, me friend - alas, most o' me stuff goes right bye... ...but I be glad YE caught it!

Presenting Mutual of Omaha's Wild Baboon Kingdom... (OPEN with tight shot of Baboon face) Papio Partyus once roamed the land in numbers too vast to imagine... (ZOOM OUT to establishing locale scene) (Several baboons stagger drunkenly about...Mr. Baboon sits tiredly on a bar stool, a clove cigarette dangling from his lips, empty bottles of rum strewn about, several female baboons lay peacefully sleeping around him) ...but due to decades of uninhibited partying, they now live at the brink of extinction... (VOICEOVER with Mr. Baboon) "Look, mate, ye can't burn yer baboons at both ends for long, ye know what I be sayin'? 'Ere, I'm as good an example as any - 3 quarts o' Captain Morgan a day, 'aven't been eatin' enough bananas or bugs, and the baboon babes - oh, man, don't get me started, 'ey? YOU try that for a week and see where th' bloody 'ell YOU end up! Extinction my purple little backside, mate!"

Feelin' no pain... Thank ye, Dewars... Life kin be nice when viewed through a haze...

Oh, just monkeying around...

YES!!! YES!!! THAT WAS IT!!! ...sorry for yelling - I got excited... Went to high school in Westchester, NY - just above Manhattan - in a little place called Yonkers, me born-and-bred town...Saunders Tech, iffin' ye want to be precise...

Tosses William some chips...

...Royal Highness's Pendragon Society? .......Really Hot Party Sallies? ...........Ripped, Horny, Panting, and Slatternly? (sounds like a law firm)

(Captain Kirk, at the end of Star Trek II) I feel....young....

Reminds me of a guy we used to know in school named Lipschitz, and the endless taunting he endured, poor fella...

Ooooh....whipped tarts....

...it were heavenly with plain vanilla on top...some strawberries and cream...

No...skipped that and went right for the Devil'sfood Cake...

LOL - I don't eat and tell! ...but here's a hint - it came with a shake...

Anyway... ...bouncing my butt in the chair right now to Earth, Wind, and Fire's "Way of the World"...

(raises hand) You've got yer priorities straight, mate!

How could I? I were hungry...I went...I saw...I ate!