PyratePhil

Trying hard to lighten her mood, Phil extends his right index finger... "Here - pull my finger"

Phil strolls in wearing his black silk jammies...um, I mean, Taiji uniform...and seeing Hetha sitting forlornly in the dark corner, cautiously approaches... "May I join you, m'lady?"

...scooping Hetha up in his arms, he walks toward the beach, where the setting sun paints a masterpiece of color across the sky...

Aye - ye...

It's impossible To stick a Cadillac up your nose It's just...impossible...

Assumes the Alpha position, legs astraddle her prone form...and continues tickling various body parts...

Tickles her under the armpits...

The naughtier limericks get The more the Mods want to forget Though they all do their jobs On us Pyrate-type slobs I'll slip in a bad verse or two yet What's all this about Stew and Sue? Is it really confusing? For true? The best way you can tell If it's Heaven or Hell Is to ask them to close-dance with you Ah, Diego, you sly ol' man-stud You make me look lower than mud! When it comes to the wenches You've been in their trenches And never came up as a dud

Not since the divorce! (A collective "OOOOOoooo" goes up from the audience...)

Well, that's the old Japanese term for them. They were trained, as were the males, from an early age - 4 or 5 years old - in the basic ninpo skills. Such skills including acrobatics, running, swimming, jumping, climbing, etc. Kinda like a Karate Kindergarten... As they got older, into their early teens, they were taught many different martial arts - everything from empty hand skills to weapons to psychological warfare principles. Along with these courses came codes and ciphers, improvised first-aid, map reading, escape and evasion, blah, blah, blah. Then the specialty training began... The gals were taught by specially-appointed female "counselors" (read prostitutes) how to please men sexually. Along with that knowledge also came the methods to eliminate the men they were with - the ol' Black Widow routine. Poisons, knives in the head and other juicy places, garroting...all that fun stuff. They learned the ways of proper Japanese geisha, so their training also included singing, dancing, poetry, opera, cooking, etc. All in all, a lethal troupe of little James Bondettes!

No, not well-read at all! (The big eyes and raised eyebrows indicating HIS sarcasm) Ever read about the kunoichi - the female ninjas? They were trained to take advantage of every weakness in a man... ,,,kinda' like Mae West with a sword...

Interesting history, m'lady... My 16-year-old is heavy into ninpo...it started when I gave him my collection of books on the subject (about 75 or so) when he was about 9 - he devoured them! Couple that with his love of gaming, and he's an apt student. Have you ever investigated the naginata? A long staff with a sharp blade on the end - traditionally, a "ladies" weapon in Japan, to defend the household from mounted bandits when the menfolk were away. I had the good fortune some years ago to watch a demo of this weapon by a Master, and let me tell you, it was awesome! T'ai Chi workout tape! AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...still haven't made mine yet - still trying to figure out how to shoot and edit digital video on my 'puter Thanks for the info - sound like neat toys!

LOL - you win - I haven't the foggiest what yer talkin' about!

...I'd love to take a gander at yer sex...oops...I mean... Oh, I got a shuko, all right...two of 'em, in fact...I use 'em when I do mokutonjutsu...even got a pocket full of tetsubushi...

Listening to Anita Baker, my sweetie..."How Does It Feel"...

...it's even got its own chain - see?

...and as fer yer intruder problem... (Phil rips off his jacket and trousers, revealing a full midnight-blue ninja outfit complete with split-toe tabi. He whips out his manrikigusari and shows it to Hetha...)

(pulls out a small set of cups from his jacket, pours two, hands one to Hetha) Here's to noises in the night!

I be lonely this fine eve, so iffin' ye don't mind, I'll be joinin' ye all...I brought some rice wine iffin' anyone wants ta' be partakin'...

Well, I never! Well, ok, I did once... ...and it were fierce fun!!! Wrestlers CAN be sinners, but losers CAN be winners...

...I place my raw-silk jacket over your shoulders and quietly leave...

I would offer, but think that our respective styles might have some difficulty meshing...

...now THAT"S a kata...

...now I have Indigo envy...

...they run through the Pub like a hurricane...