PyratePhil

Oops! ...Oh, well...it don't really matter anywhoo - I'll be orderin' by phone...but thank ye graciously fer the effort in edjoocatin' this dense Pyrate...

Not so uncommon as ye might think, m'lady - ...the world o' dollhouses and minis be a huge one - I even did custom-order houses fer a while...and there be many fantastical things in thet world... ...unfortunately, after me divorce, me ex- put the house in the basement...a basement whot gets tons o' humidity... Now it be jes' an Addam's Family house...

When Fancy gets to that isle green She'll see sights she never has seen The trees and the fish All fulfillin' her wish Then her kids will wake her with a scream

...which I could easily be re-reflectin' wi' mine! I don't have a receeding hairline - I have an advancing forehead...

That's OK, das - no worries, mate! I know where you're referring to - so he's on the long walkway going up the hill (toward where they stuck that new "Torture Museum")...I kind of think I recall now exactly where he is - thank ye!

Thank ye, lad! I always like's ta shop "local" when I can...and it don't get much more local than that! Well, seems like a big "Thumb's Up" - thank ye all once't again fer yer great replies! Now, where be thet Pyrate Plastic o' mine...?

'Twont be me neither, m'lady - I too suffer the curse of high-speed unlimited Net I just have more FUN here than in trying to figure out which diameter of rigging goes where! Most of my models end up like Calvin's (of Calvin and Hobbes) - they all look like they crashed and burned. But that's an idea, seriously, that I've always wanted to do, even before the current POTC craze - a ghost ship...ye got me droolin' on me X-Acto's now...

Sure - if you don't mind it being in 1:85 scale - that's what the HMS Pandora I'm working on now is... Oh, I get THAT comment all the time...

LOL! Reminds me of when I "volunteered" to make a dollhouse for my ex- about 15 years ago or so... She said, "Any kind will do - nothing fancy..." Well, being a typical guy, my hearing shut down after "Any kind will do..." Two years later, she had her dollhouse - a full gingerbread-dripping Victorian, 4'x4'x3'high, built stick-fashion (the way they make real houses - I made scale 2"x6"'s and even "plastered" some rooms), full electric, running water, mini stained glass that I made, full landscaping including the waterfall and pond...and the kicker - since you can't easily furnish a house that size due to restricted access, I built it so that the whole thing swiveled open (including the table) 3 ways... ...so no, I don't think you need to get a life!

LOL - that reminds me, I'll have to bring my digicam...

City Resident Mugged by Pyrates WILKES-BARRE Police were baffled this morning by an apparent mugging at the site of the Endless Mountains Medieval Festival in the city. The victim, Jonathan Hafwitt, 28, is a known criminal with a long history of muggings, home invasions, carjackings, and butterfly collection thefts. Police are seeking any witnesses to this unique attack. When asked to comment, Police Chief John Vayne replied, "I ain't never seen nuthin' like this in my life, no-how! As you can see, there's a bunch of parrot tailfeathers around the chalk outline. This was our first inkling that something wasn't right. The skull and crossbones tatoo that they carved into his forehead makes us think it's some kind of hate-crime, but not any group that we know about." " But that belaying pin - man, where they put that was REALLY criminal!", he said with a chuckle. Mr. Hafwitt declined to be interviewed at Mercy Hospital's ICU, but eyewitnesses claim he was muttering, "PYRATES! It was a bunch of PYRATES..."

Oy Vey? Oh, it's just what I fear- Merry's been to NY, that is clear Now I'm getting skittish 'Cause she knows some Yiddish Here, dear - have a bagel and schmear!

Oh, I be harmless, M'lady... I'd be crossin' th' walkway right fast iffin' I were seein' such... ...jes' not sure TOWARD or AWAY...

Well, now, kids - I have two - and they're boys I've spent thousands on all sorts of toys But to get some big hugs Or go out hunting bugs Is the acme of all of my joys My oldest is fast with his laughter And my little one climbs on the rafter Their Mom is amazed What they do with their days But we all know who they're taking after!

Since my comment on the "Earring" thread was seen as off-topic, I'll try again here... It just amazes me that whatever field I decide to get involved in has these debates, in one form or another. I see them as massive wastes of time and energy, yet here I am talking about them. Maybe it'll help put them to rest, or at least get my viewpoint off my chest. 1. Research - Research is a highly iffy thing. You can come up with references, line drawings, bits of handwritten notes, etc. and claim that this PROVES it's how things were. Bull. All it proves is that for THAT person, at THAT moment in THAT place, it might have been so. It doesn't address whether it was TRUE or not - just what the author/speaker/etc. believed at the time. It REALLY doesn't prove any universal trends or customs. Remember that history is written by the winners. That gives a uniquely narrow point of view, if not, on occasion, totally false. Also think of the filter of time - I believe that we DO interpret historical events through our modern eyes, no matter how hard we try to do otherwise. Take Shakespeare - he wrote gutteral humor for the common man, yet here we are today, putting him on a pedestal as a great bard. He was nothing more than a Jeff Foxworthy/Robin Williams for the times...a blue collar type who has been promoted to CEO only because of people's PERCEPTIONS and INTERPRETATIONS...doesn't mean that he WASN'T a great writer...but also doesn't mean that he WAS... 2. WHAT-IF - No matter what arguments you can form to defend your viewpoint, another can come along and blow holes in it. The ol' What-If technique. You'll see this being used more by us Fantasy types than the Accuratists. "Hey, my character found a cell phone on the beach in 1716 - well, what if it were teleported somehow from the future? It's possible..." Using a silly example like that perhaps weakens my idea here, but there are finer points that can be rightly defended through use of this technique. Case in point - earrings. Come on - don't point to a drawing in a book, or a snatch of logbook writing, and set it as the ne plus ultra of the times. There are millions of what-ifs involved in an argument like earrings. But to stand fast and stubbornly declare that THIS is the way it was, is silly. 3. The Great Yin/Yang - Fantasy vs. Accuracy - they'll never get together. Oh sure, they might come right up to the border and gaze at the other side, but entrance is NOT allowed. Yet the majority of fights do not start on this front; rather, they seem to start within the sole domain of the Accuratists. They strike each other with their research factoids until one is bludgeoned into submission, then they use that victory to proclaim their Truths. Riiiiight..... The Fantasy folk, on the other hand, do NOT have that problem, except perhaps on a very minor scale. Which brings me to... 4. WHY do you do it? Again, my main argument is to look at your own motivations for pyrating, and form your path from those. Entertainment - if you're out to bring laughter and wonder to the masses, do like Shakespeare - appeal to the common idea of what a pyrate is. Bucket boots, parrots, earrings - go the lot! People will KNOW that you're in the guise of a pyrate - they won't need to waste time figuring out "Hey, is that a homeless guy, or what?" Education - here's where the Accuratists shine. As far as their research takes them, they can enlighten the masses and forge on with the goal of conveying the Truth. Again, just realize that there are many Truths... Edutainment - a blend of both. You can, I think, be from either camp here, but might be subject to "boo's" and "hisses" from the other side. Inward Knowledge - doing this to find out what it was really like back then , or wondering how it would feel? Then you probably need to go to the Accuratist's side. Again, recognize the limits of available knowledge before you stand up and proclaim "THIS is how it was". None of these is right or wrong - merely different shades of the same basic color. But it's in the nature of humans to one-up each other, to compete, to indulge their egos...personally, I don't have time for all that, so I'm happy with my lot as a Fantasy type. In my mind, I try to embody the basic NATURE of a pyrate and express it through my actions. Costume, weaponry, etc. are just props. Putting on a cape and tights and calling myself Batman does NOT make me him - but I can more easily get into character - so use the props, but realize that they're not the end game - it's the intent.

...Thank you, Norm! That about wraps it up for this week's This Old Brain. Join us next week when we'll be starting our newest project - the restoration of this beautiful but neglected 18th century phrenological piece. We'll also be looking at how surgeons are using Silly Putty in restorative brain surgery and we'll even take a side trip to Cerebellum, PA, where there's been a renaissance in Corpus Collosum technology... (ROLL Credits) This Old Brain has been brought to you by: -HeadLines, Inc., makers of fine corduroy pillows - BrainDrain, manufacturers of the latest in emergency brain draining products - Ohmy, Achin, and Head - Attorneys at Law Bob Veina - Producer/Director Norm Abnormal - Master Surgeon Sammy Skulls - Associate Producer Edith Head - Clothing/Costumes Jimmy "Little" Noggin - Best Boy Mihead Hurtz - Key Grip

Thanks, Captain!

I think a Mindset thread would be interesting...

Thank ye, M'Lady - don't know why I couldn't find it... ...other than, thinkin' o' bein' tied down on some bunk somewhere prob'ly drained me mental resources....

(Phil raises hand) Ooh, ooh, I know! OOOOHHH, OOOHHHHH! (Hand flying around) Just my observations - First, most of you don't know me to see me at an event. If you check my avatar pic, you can pretty easily see that I'm what is called ( I guess) a fantasy pyrate. Nothing except my body is more than 40 years old, I happily mix cotton, silk, leather, and maybe even a little polyester ( ), I have a fake parrot (NOT dead!) on my shoulder, etc. etc... Now, if I were going to apply for a crew position on, say, the Royaliste, they'd be within their rights to shoot me dead as soon as I set foot on the dock. Same with other "re-enactor" groups. So, knowing this, I travel in my limited little world of Fantasy - as was mentioned, usually "Faires", most of which are NOT specifically Pyrate-themed. BUT - some day, I'd like to "try out" for a re-enactor role. I realize that I'd need a ton of learning, and UNlearning, to have any hope at all. I greatly admire those of you with the historical knowledge of this field (in fact, I'm downright jealous!), and hope to continue to be a fly on the wall in discussions like these. Now as for earrings...lol...I can see how this is a hot topic, but why not call it a draw? Guys like me, Wal-Mart Pyrates, will continue to wear whatever is available from the racks that looks even slightly "piratey", supplemented of course with those great Sal Army finds . Basically, we're harmless, unless we try to pass ourselves off as authentic. But the intent might very well be the same as the "pro's" - think about WHY we do this...is it for ourselves? For others? Entertainment? Education? Edutainment? Pyrates, be they Fantasy or Authentic, are so few in number as a totality that it might serve us better to join arms rather than pick at each other for imagined "failings". Again, I admire you all, from that guy over there in the "Kiss Me - I'm a Pyrate" T-shirt to folks like Foxe, G of F, and Hawkyns. Just trying to wrap my head around all of this, and it's a bit overwhelming...

They sell little girls at the shops??? What kind of pervfaire ye be goin' ta, m'lady?

LOL!!! (AD INSERT - 00:30:00) (opens on kitchen floor splattered with disgusting gray matter) (FX: Disgusting gray brain matter-like material) (FATHER enters SL into kitchen) Honey, I'm home! You'll never guess....YEWWHHCH! HONEY! WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF IN THE KITCHEN? (HONEY, a mom, looks a lot like FANCY) Oh, hi sweetie, how was your day? (F) How was my day?!? What's all this gook on the floor? We just put down those hand-tooled Mexican tiles last week...what did it cost, $2,300 or something like that - and now they're RUINED?!? (H) Oh, you big bawling bear - c'mere and give me a hug! Don't worry about the mess - I went to the store this afternoon and picked up... (INSERT ZOOM product #2874) BRAIN-BE-GONE!!! (F) Brain-Be-Gone? What's that? (H) Only the greatest little mother's helper to appear in decades! Look, all I do is mix it with a little water... (CUT to #2874 being dispensed into pail of water) ...mix it up swishy-swishy...and with one wipe, up comes all that yucchy bifurcated unconvoluted gray matter! (F) WOW! That's amazing! WHERE can I find this revolutionary new product? (H) Well, sweetie, it's available in most stores like Wal-Mart, Sams, Kleins, Floyds, Boscov's, K-Mart, U-Haul, USDA, and Pyrate's Cove, but if you call... (CONTACT INFO - SCROLL) (FADE)

Well, fer me, thet be a non-question, seein' as how this joint be about 10 minutes or so from me domicile - I'll be there every day, sometimes with me youngins, other times....um....on the prowl, I suppose ye could say... And, didn't mean ta be scarin' ye 'bout the park - it ain't THAT bad - I jes be doin' me martial arts thingie - pre-plannin' scenarios and sech... Say HI to the guy with the parrot what only got one eye...