PyratePhil

My son is doing a school project on pirate history, and he (and I) have encountered a stumbling block - Who was Redbeard? The usual searches on the 'Net produce a few thousand hits for Lego sets and mixed drinks, neither of which I feel is appropriate for my son's project. Any background, links, etc. would be appreciated!

Oh, that's ALWAYS a prerequisite for everlasting love! "One fish, two fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, Two things of my dream man I wish: He's not married, and he don't swish"

I just signed up with them meself - in the Text category - and entered my first Beginner (!) contest. So far, I'm #23 of 40 - I understand about the discouragement... Good luck to ye!

He were more than exact - he told ME he only sought a pulse... :angry:

...worth at least a shave and a haircut...

Be you a Worth1K type?

EP's back! Quick - stop posting!!!

Thou art among nutsos many...just look ye upon this board Or, as Willie Shakespeare would have it... Ah doth so acclaim the nectar of the sweet vine. The heart of my soul pursues pleasure sublime. :angry:

...and I think it be safe to be openin' this thread up to th' others now...

Me Resolutions 1. Pillage more 2. Rapine more 3. Less mercy 4. More rum 5. More wenchin' 6. More wenchin'

Ah, M'Lady, fear ye not...ye be in goode company...with the likes of Cynical de Bergerac and such... ...and I, due to me very nature, be an obsessive/compulsive romantic... an obsessive/compulsive romantic... an obsessive/compulsive romantic...

Well, it's a half-moon, then... "My, aren't WE cheeky?"

Woosh... Hey, wasn't that... ...oh, never mind...she prolly saw how serious I was getting... Now that she's gone, I'll moon everyone else

In the words of the street- "That's the JUNK, Bro!"

And Hook - that knave! That dashing rogue May he be blessed Wi' gals from Vogue That jackanapes of scurvy rhyme Who cures his scurves Wi'out a lime That Master scribe of rhythm and meter (had he a wife, he'd pr'bly beat her ) A verbal foe of craft unmatched His quip-marks On my back, crosshatched I've met my match 'Tis sad but true Therefore I doffs Me hat to you!

Sort of a "tragic romantic", eh? ... ... Join the club!

When the story of Hook did reach his ears Old Phil broke down and flowed with tears A life he'd had, he now had not A married man's life was now his lot Where once he'd fought with gusto grand A leg of chicken now filled his hand Exotic ports had been his life Now he lay beached with commonlaw wife The winds and storms he'd weathered long The nights-turned-day, all spent in song His mates and crew were now but ghosts As he did dine with hoary hosts The creak of timber, the flap of sail The harsh noon sun, the freshing gale Had been replaced at one fell swoop His children now his only troop And yet...he thought, when tears had dried, At least I'm one who claims he tried Much better than the land-locked fools Who follow all society's rules Yet briefly did I live the Life Filled as it was with dreams and strife My bed now cushioned, my needs attended, No longer my life will be upended Now those who say I've lost my edge, That I have jumped off of the ledge, Perhaps they're right, perhaps they're wrong, Still I do know that I stay strong A life that's balanced and full of joy With just small things now to annoy Reflections of the golden past I've now found love that's sure to last. ...Burma Shave...

You must be a TV scriptwriter - dreams, masks, etc...anything to get out of trouble... Poor ol' Phil was distraught A real wreck in th' makin' He sighed, then he resumed Attackin' his bacon Ol' Snee was a sight He'd not likely to see For Phil thought that Snee Had been buried at sea "The sea will claim Snee!" They'd all proclaimed with glee, Back then in the days When the livin' was free But Phil knew a secret One too bold to tell A secret, if told, That'd admit one to Hell See, Snee was a She (As he'd readily agree) And had his fun times With a bosun or three He'd dance 'round the cannons He'd prance o'er the grates He'd sneak up and pinch All his manly-type mates The men, as a group, All laid plot against Snee And planned an uprising - Of him, to be free But one voice had faltered When votes went in book The one lone dissenter - None other than Hook "He's meek, but he's friendly, A harmless ol' poof, He'll dance a fandango For a fifth of vermouth" But Hook was outnumbered That day on the ship, So later, poor Snee O'er the gunwales did slip. So chasing Snee off From his doorway that night Gave Phil a good feeling- A feeling of right "Ol' Snee was just grumpy And jealous, to boot- He'd never managed To come into some loot So here sit I, happy, With bacon and book, But still sometime wonder: WHAT HAPPENED TO HOOK?

Understood - but I think the ladies here could teach US a few lessons concerning doggish male types... (Cap't. Deke and Phil both rushing headlong for the door...) Congrats!

Interesting post, Hawkyns! Marriage is one of those subjects, like politics and religion, that are "hot-buttons" for most people. You either believe one way or the other. Fair 'nuff. But if you are able to step back and rationally view the event we call "marriage", you might understand some others' views. Firstly, it is a non-natural event. By this I mean, no other creature in nature seems to get married. Oh sure, there are critters that take life mates, but as far as we can tell, there is no religious or civil ceremony involved. And that's essentially what marriage is, "divorced" of all emotional, religious, and romantic content - a ceremony. The traditional concept of marriage is assumed to be based upon love. No problem there. It's when the highly doubtful concept of "eternal love" comes in that so many have problems. People change - that's the only constant involved here. A piece of paper that says you are bonded until death hardly qualifies as a blockage to indulging in one's changing ideas and emotions. Don't get me wrong - I'm all for the idea of marriage, if it appeals to YOU (not you specifically, Hawkyns, but the generic YOU ). Enjoy yourself. But realize that being the imperfect animals that we are, we are born with wanderlust. Forcing yourself to stay wedded to someone when you both are changing is difficult if not impossible, irregardless of any vows taken. So what's the solution? One is to stay married to your partner no matter what. Another would be Hawkyns' method. Or, stay single if you know you can't stand the concept of marriage. Steele, I agree with your comment that if you're married, you shouldn't portray yourself as single. If you're going to play the game, play it with some honor. It boils down, I think, to the way you think and believe. If you feel you are joined in the eyes of God, then you'll make all efforts to stay together, even when those efforts lead to destruction of both parties. If you don't take the vows and ceremonies seriously, you might destroy each other with your dalliances. In the latter case, there HAVE been people that can live their lives as a lie, but it seems to be a difficult life. Love is an unholdable thing, despite what Hallmark would have you believe. If love disappears, no piece of paper or metaphysical rite will hold you together.

No doubt... ...if you're going to cheat, at least be honest about it...with yourself, if not with anyone else... ...but I'm probably scaring off all the single-types here, so I'll just leave by that conveniently-situated back door...

...it doesn't quite work out that way for everyone, Capt. Slinger...

A duel, is it, m'lad? Well enough, then... 'Tis true, por' ol' Phil Took a hag as a wife, Thus fillin' his days With such trouble and strife. His nightshirt be frilly, His hair in a snood, And folks miles around Learned to fear his foul mood. But one shining moment to this - he's now rich! It seems that he married An old-money *itch. So now the demands That are made on his groin Are fair compensated With bundles of coin. Then, gazing one day Whilst he read "Treasure Isle" Came a sight to his eyes To his mouth, a great smile He jumped from his chair And he dropped his old book For who had he spied But his ol' friend, The Hook! Now Hook was in tatters His visage was grim His arms were so scrawny His waist was so slim He'd fallen on bad times This much Phil could see But Phil's only thought was "Better him than me!" The moral, me kiddies. of this little tale Will give you a rule To follow, without fail: "Be good to the Ladies Then wed them and bed, Else soon, just like Hook, You'd be better off dead."

But then Hook's attention Went places unmentioned If known be the truth His new thoughts were uncouth For in gazing at Wench's Baubles on her chest, His eyes alighted On her womanly breast. A thunderbolt clap And a spear of quick lightnin' Produced in the Hook Some changes that were frightenin' For now, instead of Holding gems in his arms He'd fallen real hard For her womanly charms They married at chapel Their souls intertwined And Hook, the poor lad, He never seemed to mind So Hook's days are numbered No salt on his brow He follows her orders Like a tranquil cow

I don't be knowin' iffin' me answer ta this question-thing already been said, bein' as ta how I be too lazy and shiftless-like ta check, but... I be like'n th' fact thet she BE a woman, wi' all the mystery, variety, and downright FUN thet wimmen be... But do ya be knowin - it be the same things thet drive me stir-crazy and loathin' about 'em...