PyratePhil

Hang in there, kid - almost the exact same thing happened to me when I bought the dump I'm in (and soon leaving), but everything worked out.

A sense of humor is WAAAAY up there on my own list - -given how I look, it HAS to be...

...and you can't beat THAT with a stick! ...oops - sorry...that's knot nice...I'll get whipped into shape, tie promise...

Eh - if we get just one person here to smile, we've all won...

...but Mommy loves them... "3rd floor - Freudian slips, Angst, Just Cigars..." How about keeping your horse at the Equus Stables? I really can't see that...

Kendra, love - I guess I shouldn't bring up our local Portal O' Pleasure Pancake House, huh?

Great pic, Petee! I had one of those done with the ex- in Ohio many moons ago - don't know if I even have it anymore. If I find it, and get the bloody scanner working...

I don't know about the burger part - I just like the In and Out...

Poor Christine... *Sally Struthers appears on the TV screen...* PLEASE...only $0.39 a day will help poor baby Christine eat a solid meal. She's never known what it's like to eat a Big Mac...she was never chosen for the Escondido Beauty Pageant... ...and for less than the price of half a cup of coffee, you can feed Christine... ...she's waiting...won't you give her a chance?

I thought so - -did you also know that Minoxidil paid to have Telly Savalas croaked?

Didn't that "blondes have more fun" thing all start as a marketing ploy by one of the shampoo companies?

Ye got the right proper pyratical sneer, lad - huzzah!!!

*Note posted beneath the "Gone Fishin'" notice on the gangway...* TO WHOME IT MAY CONCERN: Know ye all present that PHILLIPUS LOUIGIOUS BELLAFONTAINE, late of the Watch Dog, was today founde washed ashore in these Environs. Know that he bore Markes of struggle with several Marine Creatures, as welle as Musket-ball holes and knife woundes. We, the duly Deputized undersigned, do hereby tender our most Profound regrets over youre loss, and pray for his Everlasting Soul. Body of saide Seaman may be viewed at Digger's Resting House, 23 Riverside Street, hours of 3PM - 7PM.

*sits in the hatchway, entranced by her sweet voice*

*wanders down to the galley* Cookie - any grub around here?

He seems ta be takin' a liken' ta ye, mate... Consider 'im a present to ye - ta keep ye company on th' long voyage ahead...

O' course...careful, tho...he bites... *shows tooth marks on hand*

Err... I was thinkin' maybe, "Mugwump"...

*First Officer comes back up the ways after having spent several hours in town* "Lookee what I won in m' last card game..."

*grumbles* "...women...nuthin' but problems..."

"I knew ye were gonna' say thet! Well, thet there fair lass ye were jes' speechin' with...she has th' look o' a deep one, she does... And Sir! WHAT do ye mean, "no incest"? We be brothers and sisters, true...but I would NEVER think o'..." *catches sight of cook again* "...um...err....what was I sayin'?"

Apologies ta all fer me absence - 'twas some pressin' business ta be handled upon shore... *whispers to Diego* "Sir, this be BAD luck havin' these female types on board...I don't think we should be..." *catches sight of the cook* "AHEM...as I were sayin. sir - a FINE idear ye had, ta be recruitin' so Democratic and such-like..."

Thankee, sir! *Hops up into the hammock, it twists, he hits the floor* THUD!

"Beat me with your rhythm stick, beat me, beat me..."

I'm keepin' me eye on ye, lad...jes' so's ye know... Aye, Ships - I be fair a-bristlin' wi' steel 'n' iron... *begins unloading in front of Master-at-Arms, like Mel Gibson in Bartertown* 3 pistols 1 rapier 1 gauche 1 cutlass 1 boot knife (I'll be askin' fer thet one back) 1 eatin' knife flogger crop whip pair of throwing knives from beneath bracers length of garrote wire from around waist boarding axe small vial of arsenic (Hey - ye never knows...) Reportin' fer duty, sir!