PyratePhil

...I can also boast that my towel bar is heated... ...for quicker drying times, of course... :)

Interesting viewpoint... So we're all rudderless ships passing in the night, eh? Hmmm... TOOOOT, TOOOOT!!!!

I don't know his name, but he was a damn good Jack! And the only pix we got, Rummy, were a few stiffly posed ones of me and boys in front of the joust field - mainly, my son (whose camera it was) was taking pics of Empty Hats - fast becoming his fave group. If I get them, I'll post them here.

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Well, if all else fails, I could always get a job as towel boy in the lagoon...

Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire REVIEW Sunday, September 25, 2005 Well, now, me lads and I just got back from the PARF today, and I wanted ta be givin’ ye all a brief review o’ th’ Faire from our eyes. First – weather – although they called for a chance of thundershowers, we lucked out and the day remained dry and in the low 70’s, with cloud cover – MUCH more enjoyable than other times we’ve spent in 95+ sunshine. Food consumed – 2 turkey legs, 3 ice cream cones, wench fries, chicken fingers, sodas, waters, lemonades, one root beer float, and coffees – not much for 3 growing Pyrates, but we’d stopped for breakfast before the Faire and would stop for dinner afterwards. Shows attended – unfortunately I missed the wench auction and pyrate rumble (grrr) but me boys saw the rumble and said it was great. We did catch 2 shows of Empty Hats and the final joust. We also sat in on the falconry lecture – very educational, and the birds were magnificent. Most of the rest of our time was spent running around like 3 loonies from Bedlam… Items bought – kind of disappointing here – Anthony had saved a large amount of money to be able to buy some SCA-approved armor here today, but everything was either sub-standard or WAY too expensive ($500 for an el cheapo chainmail shirt?!?). Not many dealers of armor, and the few there were had little stock, preferring instead to clamor for custom orders. Anthony did pick up 2 throwing knives at LaForge and some miniatures (bargain-priced) at the bookstore; I picked up a few small trinkets at the Pirate Shop and a skull bracelet with alligator teeth from a dealer hailing from New Orleans, but I found neither saber nor cavalier hat of sufficient quality at the Faire that I was looking for; Mike didn’t buy anything, but did enjoy himself in the Medieval Games section. So much for stimulating the economy… A side note here on LaForge’s ID rigmarole - they not only don’t let “under 18”’s touch any weapons; they also demand a driver’s license from 47-year old martial arts instructors when purchasing 2 small throwing knives for said under-18’s. GRRRRR…in true Pyrate fashion, I talked my way out of needing to show it…they also duct-taped the two boxes together for security as we left the counter, but neglected to tape the box ENDS…fools… Best Schticks of the Day – my rubber rat sitting atop an 8” apple pie – I carried him around for the first 2 hours, and when folks would exclaim “rat pie”, I would correct them with “No, - Pie-rat” (Pyrate? Pie-rat?) OK, I know – but it brought the most smiles and groans of the day! Also, Anthony’s portrayal of Guinevere during an early-morning street improv was classic, with his wearing of the lady’s scarf, comical impressions of the weeping princess, and his climactic death scene. Well done, lad! Finally, probably the most FUN schtick was going to Friendly’s after Faire for dinner in full garb…(”WHAT “fair”? WHAT “costume”?” brought looks of dismay from the staff). Our waitress was wonderful, and she received, in addition to a healthy tip, several gold doubloons and a small skull as a thank you for being such a good sport. She DID, regretfully, only briefly consider my marriage proposal (upon my learning that she had a REAL macaw at home)…said something about the boyfriend having to OK it or some such nonsense… Folks Met – Lord and Lady Snow; Kat and her friend Chris (he’s a keeper, dear!); Mercenary Wench; Giacomo from Empty Hats; Daniel, working for the Imaginarium and from the Philly area, who hopes to find his way to the forum now I’ve told him about it (an authentic pre-GAoP pirate!); our beautiful and talented director from EMMF; and two other members of the EMMF cast, Lady Fiona and Phil (Happy anniversary, guys, and happy birthday, Phil!). We only got the opportunity to wave to several other acquaintances – our Lords and Masters from Impact Jousters, and Toy#2 from EMMF (long story). If I wasn’t a monk, I would have done my best to woo Merc right there in the lanes…it was a pleasure meeting another Pubbie, especially such a pretty and spirited one. Thank you, m’lady Merc…may all your sales be large ones! Impressions: Patrons today were sluggish, lacked energy and spirit. VERY FEW in garb – mostly shorts and T’s…and of course the obligatory Goth models…grrr…during shows, patrons sat on their hands; during improvs, they simply walked away with gloomy faces. Come ON, people – wake up and enjoy! It wasn’t just my impression, either; my two lads, in addition to many PARF cast members and friends said the same. Sigh… Wench Rating: Poor wench rating this time for PARF. Since so few patrons were garbed, this rating is based solely on cast members. A few wenches stood out admirably (!), but most were definitely dressed down…double sigh… The belly dancers were a bright spot on a gloomy day, but my lads seemed to find something or other pulling them away every time the dancers were within my sweaty grasp, so this author can offer no detailed description other than a few stolen glimpses of pulsating flesh and the sound of multiple “Yip”’s floating in the early autumn air…. On the PyratePhil Wench-O-Meter scale of 1 – 10, I give Sunday’s PARF a: 3 Overall: Kind of an “eh” day; not much spirit or by-play going on in the lanes; had trouble getting into and staying in character because of the lack of playtrons. Hope the next few weeks prove better for PARF and that this was just a freak bump in the graph. That being said, ‘tis better to have gone to PARF and been slightly disappointed, than to never have gone to PARF at all. God save the Queen!

Anchors aweigh, me boys, Anchors away... ...wait'll I show y'all how I learned to blow ballast...

I'm voting "clothes don't make the man" solely from MY point of view - historically or perhaps longingly, pyrates would indeed be willing to "put on the Ritz". Me - I figure, why draw attention to yourself unecessarily?

Yeah, but I didn't say WHERE the weights were attached...

Well, at least a COUPLE of minutes...

...ooooooooooohhhhhhh.......

Anyone going this Sunday? The boys and I will be there, weather permitting...

*comes to sit next to him* Are ye enjoying the view luv? Nothing like a good tennis match, I always say... But aye, I'm enjoying the view - 'specially when you ladies bend over to retrieve the balls...

Gets back out, dries off, and strides off to teach the next class, forgetting he's commando...

***Phil drops in between running around*** Hey, luvs! Belly whopper time!!!!! SPLASH!!!!!! (so much for the sad, sensitive comments I was gonna write )

***sigh*** ...(Sits on the sidelines watching the tennis match)...

Living Breathing Digesting Shedding old skin cells Unconvoluted gray matter is deteriorating Sitting Using my eye / hand coordination Listening to others' conversations in the library Wondering why my karma is such as it is Wondering when I'll see my lady again, if ever Thinking how wonderful it is to be a monk As Python would say - I'm revolving at 5,000 miles per hour... Constantly scanning my mental databanks for possible future poems / parodies

(blushing) Thank ye, Sire... ...and I'd love ta do the ceremony for ye, but there's some legal problems in marrying folks outside your "jurisdiction". See, I'm only good in Pennsylvania... (Actually, I'm good in ANY state, but we're talking legal things here... ) But maybe I can establish residency in CA before the blessed event. That, or I'll jes' write th' script fer ye, and ye kin be givin' it ta th' preacher-man o' yer choice!

Phil, me lad, tha' there mate that be walkin' the pla... er , I mean plaitin' 'is troth, he be supplyin' the swag, the wench be supplyin' the booty... Arrr.. I always be gettin' them mixed up...I be but a simple Pyrate...

Murph, me old friend... I be thinkin' th' lads 'n' lassies on yer board would be MUCH more helpful to ye - jes' take one o' th' regular ceremonies 'n' substitute nautical-type words. But, lessee...offin' th' top o' me shiny head, and usin' what I already posted... "Dear shipmates and lubbers... We be gathered here today, under th' sight o' (insert favorite deity / Universal force here), ta celebrate th' joinin' in holy matrimony o' John Doe, a scurvy though lovin' swab, and Jane Dee, a goodly wench whot got's a heart o' gold. Now, afore we be startin', let me remind ye all thet what (insert favorite deity / Universal force here) joins together, let no Pyrate tear or plunder. The act o' marryin', though not fer ALL o' us, is still a union true. You, John, and you, Jane, are enterin' a lifetime o' duty, honor, and respect ta each other. Ye both will be dependin' upon each other in thick and thin, fair weather and foul. You, John, will be the Ballast o' the Ship o' Matrimony, and you, Jane, will be the Sails. Without one o' th' other, th' ship will be dead in th' water. So iffin' ye want ta make headway through Life, remember ta work WITH each other. Thet bein' said... Face each other...hold hands...now, John, repeat after me... I, John Doe, take ye, Jane Dee, ta be me wedded wife. Wi' deepest joy I be receivin' ye into me life, that together we be one. As is Davy Jones to His locker, so I will be to ye a lovin' and faithful First Mate. Always will I be promisin' ye me deepest love, me fullest devotion, me tenderest care. I be promisin' I will live first. last, and always fer ye. I be promisin' that I be leadin' our lives into a life of faith, trust an' love. And so throughout our lives, no matter what may lie ahead o' us, stormy sea or fair, I be pledgin' to ye me life as a lovin' and faithful First Mate. Jane, repeat after me... I, Jane Dee, do take ye, John Doe, as me lawful husband, ta be honest 'n' true ta ye, ta be carin' fer ye ill winds or fair. I be promisin' ta be faithful and lovin' as ye be ta me, and give ye a rock ta cling to in stormy weather. Let our Union be one o' a lifetime, and let us sail happily to th' ends o' the Earth with each other. Wonderful...be there any chum-bucket or wench here thet be disputin' this here marriage o' John and Jane? (silence - hopefully) John, do ye have th' booty? (ring) (places it on finger) As a duly empowered agent o' Her Majesty, and in the presence o' (insert favorite deity / Universal force here), I now be pronouncin' ye Man and Wife (Seadog and Wench? Master and Commander? LOL). John, ye may may plunder yer booty! Hope this gives ye some ideas, me friend - and fair winds to ye!

Sorry, luv - I'm not a Buddhist. :angry:

We always blame others for our own faults - trust me, I know. No one can MAKE you do anything, especially feel guilty. It's like when someone says, "You hurt me by what you said" - hey, they're just words. We choose to accept or refuse the burden of friendships, family, etc., and we also choose how far we let them push our buttons. Given an inch, they'll take a yard every time, so it's solely up to US to put the limits in place.

Actually, they don't give it up... ...I happen to have it on good authority, since my Aunt Tillie worked in a convent all her life, that the nuns had a secret underground playroom...complete with bowling alley, first-run movie theater, Olympic swimming pool... They had great parties there, or so I'm told...

Hey, why not do like in tug-o'-war - have the friends on one side holding the rope, the family on the other - let them pull to their hearts content while you get away somewhere...

...still... If Christine were having such a great time, why would she want to escape it? Besides, there's more to life than just having fun 24/7...