Random Thoughts

[Caraccioli]

One of those questions that have no single, concrete answer.  But I'll take a stab at it...

Everyone should take the responsibility to know him/herself.  What you can do, what you can't do, what's good for you, what's not good for you.  And allow others to find the same for themselves.  If lack of self-worth is truly what a lot of "misbehavior" stems from, finding out about yourself would fix a lot of problems.  Everyone can do something worthwhile, it can just take awhile to find out what it is.

I completely, totally agree with this. In fact, it's why I'm a libertarian (small "l"). I feel people should always take as much responsibility for themselves and their actions as they are able. (And most people are quite able.) For the minority who aren't able and require assistance, the remaining majority are all quite capable of supplying that without an extra middleman. (Even they need to be given responsibility as Black Pearl so eloquently pointed out a few weeks ago in the story about the boys and the baseball game. BTW, thinking on that, it's probably a Master's view while the boys who were helping the boy to win were adopting a Statesman's view.)

[Lady Alyx]

"Armegedon"...we doom ourselves....one reason....we don't do the golden rule.

Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. If we all approached that simple concept...world would be a better place.

[jessie k.]

There is an issue of knowing yourself well enough to know your own faults and learning how to deal with them, how to work past & through them & making sure that your faults don't have a negative effect on the people around you. We tend to look at faults negatively, which they aren't necessarily. Faults can be good things & really do help to shape us as individuals.

I completely agree. Too many people are afraid to look at their own faults, define them, accept them, and then do something about it. Not necessarily get rid of them, but redirect them. Using myself as an example...I have a terrible, terrible temper. I got it from my dad. A lot of people who know me very well don't realize that I have a terrible temper, because I've learned which way to direct it, and which way not to! It's something I can use when I'm completely burned out, and need to rally, but I also know I have to watch out for it when someone is irritating.

Knowing your faults is every bit as constructive as knowing your strengths.

[Shanni MacLain]

I completely agree.  Too many people are afraid to look at their own faults, define them, accept them, and then do something about it.  Not necessarily get rid of them, but redirect them.  Using myself as an example...I have a terrible, terrible temper.  I got it from my dad.  A lot of people who know me very well don't realize that I have a terrible temper, because I've learned which way to direct it, and which way not to!  It's something I can use when I'm completely burned out, and need to rally, but I also know I have to watch out for it when someone is irritating. 

Knowing your faults is every bit as constructive as knowing your strengths.

Nail on the head. There are realms of incident where my temper(hey I'm an Irish girl)gets the better of me, as does my passions(okay in that case). But,as noted,the strength is analysing and redirecting the energy. Easier said than done,I hate noting,but can be considered 'accomplishment' if conquered. Did I just use 'conquered' and 'realms' in a sentence? Sheesh...........

[Lady Alyx]

(...and femme's hormones flaring up don't help...lol )

[Patrick Hand]

Too many people are afraid to look at their own faults, define them, accept them, and then do something about it. Not necessarily get rid of them, but redirect them

I can figure out my faults, and what I did that wasn't right....... kinda try to learn not to do that again (yah... right... as if I won't mess up ever again...)

But I can't figure out how to just accept them....

My memorys of things that I did wrong, kinda keep haunting me.....

The good part, is maybe I won't do something like that again....

The bad part, is that I can't change what I did in the past.....

The third option is to "just get a (new) life"....

But I heard that they are avalible on E-Bay right now really cheap.....

[Rumba Rue]

I'm so aware of my faults I print them in my signature.

[oderlesseye]

"self worth" is the problem.... Or more to the point of me~ me~me~ me~ me~ me~ me~ me~ ..... so "self " is corrupt ! Maybe being others oriented and letting self die in the dust with respect to "selfish acts".... Funny thing about suicide is that a person who goes there is comitting the most "selfcentered" act...

Love takes no thought for itself and is trusting of others and God.

I know this becouse i suffer myself from to much "selfconcousness" /pride...

ME mE ME Me MEw ouhhhh ! yuckie self....

But I heard that they are avalible on E-Bay right now really cheap..... laugh.gif

I'm going to the church of -E- Bay now...

[blackjohn]

Expect my resignation as moderator within the next week.

Don't do it. I for one am proud to have you as a fellow moderator!

[Patrick Hand]

I'm trying to behave.....

and not post silly stuff in Twill....

But a thread with the title....

On Period Women

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh...... it's not easy behavin' with that one.....

[CrazyCholeBlack]

Figures I didn't even think of that when I posted it.

But I'm not good with thread titles. That's my excuse & I'm sticking to it!

[Patrick Hand]

But I'm not good with thread titles.

At least I got some giggles outta it......

[Dennis "the blue"]

random thought of the day....

when you lose something they say it will be in the last place you would look. Of course it's in the last place you look, because if you find it then your done.....

[Caraccioli]

I'm trying to behave.....

and not post silly stuff in Twill....

But a thread with the title....

On Period Women

Perhaps it should be, "On, period woman!"

Hmm. Nah.

"On" "Period" "Woman" (On.Woman?)

No.

Oh, never mind. Semantics.

[jim hawkins]

when you lose something they say it will be in the last place you would look. Of course it's in the last place you look, because if you find it then your done.....

Nope, sometimes I keep looking, just to prove that saying wrong.

[Shanni MacLain]

Perhaps it should be, "On, period woman!"

Hmm. Nah.

"On" "Period" "Woman" (On.Woman?)

Wasn't that a Stevie Wonder song?

"Boogie on period woman..."

Maybe not.

[Capt. Sterling]

So how do we solve a self-inflicted, intensely person problem like this? (I don't have an answer. It's one reason I like to write a monthly newsletter on success concepts and try to teach people how much potential they have through trainings. Not that I don't have my own share of insecurities, mind...)

I work with urban/poverty kids and I can see what you were saying with insecurities and how people deal with them... I would be interested in knowing how to obtain your success concepts newsletter... these are good kids, just coming from dysfunctional backgrounds (most of them a good hug and consistent/fair discipline when needed, turns them around almost overnight) their upbringing has really, really done some serious damage to their self worth. If you can please pm or email with the info... every bit helps... thanks.

[Caraccioli]

So how do we solve a self-inflicted, intensely person problem like this? (I don't have an answer. It's one reason I like to write a monthly newsletter on success concepts and try to teach people how much potential they have through trainings. Not that I don't have my own share of insecurities, mind...)

I work with urban/poverty kids and I can see what you were saying with insecurities and how people deal with them... I would be interested in knowing how to obtain your success concepts newsletter... these are good kids, just coming from dysfunctional backgrounds (most of them a good hug and consistent/fair discipline when needed, turns them around almost overnight) their upbringing has really, really done some serious damage to their self worth. If you can please pm or email with the info... every bit helps... thanks.

Thanks for the interest! I have friends who work with inner city groups. I think that people like you who express an interest helps to build their self-esteem as much as anything.

If you want to be added to my newsletter list, feel free to shoot me a pm with your email addy in it. I'll send you last month's (which was a bit more technical than normal - it was about public speaking. I get requests for all kinds of topics, so I vary them a bit.)

I also catalogue my articles every so often on-line at my website. You can view many of the past articles here. There's even one about piracy if you look hard enough.

[Capt. Sterling]

It's not so much being tough on kids, but being consistent, IMO.

Good call. I'd say consistent is very important, in fact, more important than tough. I only say tough because from experience I know my two boys be will push the limits.

Consistancy and fairness, is a habit with me. (You learn it fast when you have your own kids. ) The kids I work with notice double standards in a blink of an eye. What I mean by tough, is pretty much what we call tough love... they don't like it, but they understand it and once they believe you are truly concerned about them, they really start trying harder. I can't tell you how many report cards I had to "check out" a few weeks ago... because they now know, I give a damn. These kids can pick out a phoney a mile away. Most of them don't know who dad is, mom has a revolving door policy regarding boyfriends who don't know how to control their hands. If there is a consistent "parent figure" its Granny. They need their boundaries and they quickly learn to respect them and try harder.

[flintlock jack]

Another thing that has always fascinated me: our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness. If you are exceptionally organized and punctual, you are also somewhat hidebound and unyielding. If you are completely open-minded and able to accept new ideas, you are also somewhat disorganized and unable to commit. I had dinner with friends last Friday at my 3rd Favorite (Known) Restaurant (Appeteaser in Milford, MI) and we were discussing just that. In the one couple, She is fairly well-organized and quick to make decisions while He is very open-minded yet is always changing His mind. As She put it, "If we were alike, we'd never make any decisions on anything. And He agreed - but only after thinking about it for awhile. 

Interesting slants. I've heard of and known couples that resemble that dynamic. I'm always amazed when it works. My wife and I are quite a lot alike in many ways ranging from social commentary to personal interests. When life gets the best of one,the other drives. We both have the ability to 'grab the reins' when need arises but never from each other. Wonderful. The 'opposite' relationships seem to spend a lot of energy(that could be placed...elsewhere)on 'fixing' the differences. Makes me tired just being around it. As long as it works, I guess.

[Capt. Sterling]

Thanks for the interest! I have friends who work with inner city groups. I think that people like you who express an interest helps to build their self-esteem as much as anything.

If you want to be added to my newsletter list, feel free to shoot me a pm with your email addy in it. I'll send you last month's (which was a bit more technical than normal - it was about public speaking. I get requests for all kinds of topics, so I vary them a bit.)

I also catalogue my articles every so often on-line at my website. You can view many of the past articles here. There's even one about piracy if you look hard enough.

VERY COOL site! Already saved to favs! And public speaking will be perfect, the kids all have to compete in a speech contest about famous Virginians.... you'd be surprised how many famous "rappers" come from Virginia....not!

[Capt. Sterling]

Another thing that has always fascinated me: our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness. If you are exceptionally organized and punctual, you are also somewhat hidebound and unyielding. If you are completely open-minded and able to accept new ideas, you are also somewhat disorganized and unable to commit. I had dinner with friends last Friday at my 3rd Favorite (Known) Restaurant (Appeteaser in Milford, MI) and we were discussing just that. In the one couple, She is fairly well-organized and quick to make decisions while He is very open-minded yet is always changing His mind. As She put it, "If we were alike, we'd never make any decisions on anything. And He agreed - but only after thinking about it for awhile. 

Interesting slants. I've heard of and known couples that resemble that dynamic. I'm always amazed when it works. My wife and I are quite a lot alike in many ways ranging from social commentary to personal interests. When life gets the best of one,the other drives. We both have the ability to 'grab the reins' when need arises but never from each other. Wonderful. The 'opposite' relationships seem to spend a lot of energy(that could be placed...elsewhere)on 'fixing' the differences. Makes me tired just being around it. As long as it works, I guess.

While every couple is different, me and the Far Better Half are pretty much opposite but we've really learned to make that work. We fill in each other's "blanks" so to speak. So far there is no project we have not been able to tackle together...

[Caraccioli]

VERY COOL site!  Already saved to favs!  And public speaking will be perfect, the kids all have to compete in a speech contest about famous Virginians.... you'd be surprised how many famous "rappers" come from Virginia....not! 

Thanks! Actually, that's only a small slice of it. I don't link back to the main site from the speaking part of the site for various reasons.

I have always thought the Toastmasters philosophy on public speaking (which is similar to the Dale Carnegie philosophy) was very good. When you learn to speak effectively in public, you build your self-confidence and often begin to improve yourself in other ways as well. (And now we've come full circle - one way to help reduce insecurity is to learn to speak publicly. For whatever reason, most people who are willing to get up and speak in front a group and can do so effectively are assumed to be more intelligent (whether rightly or wrongly is another debate).)

[Cpt Sophia M Eisley]

I worked with quite a few folks in my previous two occupations that regularly attended Toastmasters meetings. I didn't go to them myself, but learned a bit through my coworkers. Now if only I could learn to add a little excitement to presentations that I have lost interest and/or much faith in.

Got this in a email today from a cohort.

"Shift Happens"

Has alot of statistics, some very sobering.

[Rumba Rue]

...hmmm, how many more people can I piss off with my unthinking words of stupidity on my part. Give me that big blue ribbon for the 'Foot-in-Mouth Awards'.