MadL

::...better not say it...think of something else! think of something else!!:: BLUSHING

One day a blond pirate was walking with a brunette pirate through the streets of Tortuga. The brunette pirate saw a dead parrot and said "Hey look, a dead parrot". The blond pirate looked up in the air and said "Where?". -------- Q: Why do Blond Pirates have 'TGIF' written on their boots? A: Toes Go In First. ------- Q: Why did the Blond Pirate Captain stand motionless and smiling at the helm during lightning storms? A: He thought his crew was taking his picture. ----- There's this young blond wench out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blond wench on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blond wench looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." ------ A pirate family is at the ship's dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are only for decoration." --------- 11 people were hanging on a rope from a plane. 10 were blond, 1 was brunette. The rope starts to give, so they decide someone has to jump. So the brunette gives a really touching speech about why she should jump instead of one of them. After her speech, all the blonds start to clap...

I had an idea once, just for a thread like this. But it hurt too much so I do not do that anymore.

Entry in Captain Mad L's ship log: 12 April 1659 Note to self, scratch idea of making knot easier to tie by placing in front of head...

I have seen in some movies....(stop rolling yer eyes!)....and I do not remember just which ones off hand...(Stop walking away! get back here!!)....some head scarfs that had a Long flowing tail in the back, about 1 to 2 foot and they were clearly NOT head 'bands' but a full head scarf and most likely of silk by the way the wind easily made the tail float. So just what kind of cut/pattern would be required to get such an effect? I think it was mostly in some of the older 1960's an' early 70's flicks I remember these from, I can even picture one was in black&white... Oh, and in addition to a past comment about the usage of head scarfs and head bands, I recall it also being stated in some document that they have been in use since almost invention of the hat itself for besides keeping the sweat out of one's eyes it also serves as protection to the hat itself in keeping the body oils and hair greases from being absorbed into the expensive hat (I don't think they had dandruff shampoos back then...) (added) I Found It!!! I knew I had found a site long time back that had 'Step by Step Instructions' with photos even that show just how to tie a Pirate Bandana!! It even shows ye the RIGHT WAY an' the WRONG WAY for ta wear it. An' it appear ta be written by a pirate's parrot even! Step-By-Step Instructions For Tieing A Pirate Bandana

Hungry!!!

smelly

twas 1998 a 'decade' ago? How about this one, I'll give three hints: character 1: "The clock just struck midnight at the pole. Christmas is officially over for you, Santa!" Santa: "You know, most people make the same mistake. The correct time at the pole is completely discretionary, because the poles are where all the time zones actually converge." character 3: "He's scary, yet educational."

Ok, it stopped, and the morrow will be 90degrees! Please Make It Snow!!! ...Red Bess, wanta trade seats??????

Okay now, so just how do ye know if yer got one o' second knot turn around when ye be doing it all behind yer head?? ...now keep in mind that this be coming from one who could not never figure out how to tie a neck tie, so much so that when me drill sergeant became frustrated watching me try, he tied it for me.....and to this day, now 28 year later, that very neck tie still hang in me closet, with the very knot that Sergeant Adams tied in it 28 year ago.

I like that one! I will be callin' ye today once I can sneek out the back door o' this har dungeon I be locked in....

But I always thought it be 'When in Rome do as the Romans do an' When in Tortuga do as the Pirates do" I know if'n I see any Ren Pixies dancing around a pirate faire then I just might put them in a jar and take them home! Bout that leather crafter, I just be picky, no real 'design' in mind, just lookin fer a belt pouch 'r one with its own straps but it must be made from vegie tanned leather, preferably stitched but rivets I guess would be ok if the rest I like, but not those 'star' like rivets I saw on the ones at the Ravenswood booth. They are alright I suppose as outside they look like regular rivets, but not the one I be seekin'....just would not be close enough to 'period' fer me. For now I just carry me skydive dive nylon webbing wallet in me pocket, out o' sight....until I come to the beer tent

wenches!! Oh wait, scratch that!! furs...ya, that's what I meant; furs

beads

"shank back", you mean like for a button (to be sewn on)? I would certainly be interested in some coin buttons, I was actually just browsing for some earlier today but not finding any old enough (all like 1900+). But yes I would LOVE to find three with screw backs, long enough to go through two sheet of baldric leather; I would like replace the ones on my baldric with ones of coin If you think this is do-able then should I e-mail you with the thickness of leather I need to go through? Also as stated I would to hear how much you want for some coin buttons as well (preferably antiqued in both cases)

Hmmm, LadyBarbossa be makin' me think it be time to return to the old pirate ways; stake out on a main trade route on the Interstate and wait fer a likely victim to come along, then rush in and demand their surrender, then we TAKES their sloop, their food, an' all their valuables (an' give nuthin back of cours) an' it then be Off To The Faire!!!

Button do I hear? I would like to find some buttons stamped from old coin! Perhaps even a few coin stamped into conchos with either leather type rivet or Chicago screw backs...

'spill' rum on the powder? Nay mcdrago, the powder is to be 'spilled' in the rum!!

I Wanta See That!!! I still remember when I first fell in love with the Ren Faire; it was back in the spring of 1960 somthing, I was but a wee lad of 6 'r 7 year old an' the faire was held farther out, in some valley to the north if memory still serve me. I had separated from me folks to explore alone and whilst taking refuge under an old oak tree and pretty lass came from o'r the hill, she had on not but a skimpy skirt that went to farther up her trim body then her waist - It was love at first sight!!! I can still remember when she sat down under the tree with her friends and one asked her what she thought she be doin' with no top side on and she just reply "Well this was common back in these days" I LOVE truth!! oh, and mcdrago, I be saving fer a flintlock, will most likely go through the net unless I happen to come across a wandering tradesman at faire but that I do not expect here on the west coast (wanting 'real' not fake, got fake already), and I be looking fer a fine dagger. Now don't ask me "what kind of dagger" fer I don't know, but when I see it I will know....it is out there, it is waiting for me, somewhere out there.....

I don't know, that may work for some but myself, I would prefer to think about the rest of the 'paying customers' personally. If they pay to see a Ren faire from 1400 then I personally would not feel right coming as Buck Rogers or Col. Sanders, just would not seem right. But as a pirate of proper period I could live with myself. Call me 'sensitive' but pirate 'r not I just not be into 'party crashing' when 'joining' the party can be fun too....besides, I got enough enemies for ta hold at bay in this life. I will have to pass on the rest of the Ren faire at this point however, gotta spread me coin out fer the rest of year an' right now I have one or two per month on the calender and still have some booty I wish ta plunder. I didn't see much in the way of leather accessory of piratical nature at the Ren Faire, still in search for just the right pouch. An' mainly I still be havin' some weapons on me shoppin' list an' they can not be found at Tarrrrget mcdrago; I have not been to any of the diner meetups as they are too far fer me to reach during the week from El Segundo. Plus Wednesday and Thursday nights are NOT good fer me seein' as how I have a 3am wake up call to make these cor-pirate meetings (filthy east coast cor-pirates, don't have No sense of PST at all!)

mcdrago, ye brings the black corn rye an' I will bring the black powder, there will not be any 'punch' at this har pirate gatherin'!!

What part o' LA? I come from El Segundo at that time o' day...

Barbossa Leather was telling me of this one! If it start at 5:00pm then I am figuring (note, NEVER 'assume') that it runs late? I may have be havin to sink a few of them thar road frigates ta get there! ...hmmm, could save much more time if'in I wear me garb and weapons to work too

I once had a pair o' pussies, rather said me ex-wife did....till I tossed her o'er board I found a great way for ta teach pussies respect birds and not attack. Ye see, ye sits there real still an' quite like, let the craft puss sneak up on the bird, an' just the moment the beast pounces ye.....whip yer hand under it and Toss it across the room!!! Only took a few times befer them pussies learn that birds are SPOOKY creatures and NOT ta be trif'ed with!

It be the meetup ye sent me the link to mcdrago, where were you mate? The meetup do not have a dress code, I be reading the rules at the Ren Faire site. Should have know they be more or less 'guide lines' An here I be havin me nice shiny boots that need a good thrashin an' that dirty ol' place would have been just the start. I will not be havin' me buckle shoes fer a few months, hopefully in time fer the Gold Coast Pirate Faire. But I got me new baldric just in as well, I be havin' it for Cutthroats o' Corona, and she be a One O' A Kind her maker say....gotta find he's nephew and prove mine be bet'er!