MadL

Pumps

AVAST! Me day job be found out! ...how will I ever live this down wit' me crew??

no rattles? then how about tonight's dish: Ingredients: 6 medium Shark Steaks, rinsed in cold water and patted dry 6 cloves Garlic, crushed 1/2 cup Lemon Juice 2 teaspoons Fresh Oregano, chopped 2 teaspoons Fresh parsley, chopped 1/2 teaspoon Fresh Dill Ocean salt - to taste Directions: Rub steaks all over with garlic ( ) - and allow to set; meanwhile, combine lemon juice, oregano, parsley, dill, and ocean salt, brush generously over both sides of steaks and allow fish to absorb flavors while barbecue heats to hot. Place fish on grill, brush top with marinade again and grill (5 minutes); turn steaks and brush with marinade and barbecue (4-5 minutes longer), or until fish is opaque through. Serve with salad of mix fresh greens an' favorite rum.

Thank Neptune we be on the open sea, fer anywhere else and that just might get ye tossed in iron an' strung up!!

Its Friday so I'm off tomorrow, so perhaps: BAKED RATTLESNAKE 1 rattlesnake carcass 1 cup half n half or milk 1/2 lb. fresh mushrooms, sliced 2 limes, sliced thin 1 tsp. basil 1 tsp. pepper 1 tsp. rosemary Cut snake into 3-inch sections and place in a large baking dish. Cover with cream or milk and add the mushrooms, limes, basil, pepper, and rosemary. Cover tightly. Bake in 300 degree oven for 60-70 minutes or until done. ~or this afternoon gets rough and I'm too tired, then I just might take the easy route: ROASTED RATTLESNAKE Cut snake into 2 inch pieces. Place pieces on a skewer and roast over glowing coals, keeping the skewer constantly turning. When the meat quits sizzling, it is done. and to wash it all down: RUM .....now I be Hungry!!!!!

Does it hurt when you tinkle? A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son. All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out." "No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

Mad L's First Grade Test Trouble Me first-grade teacher was having trouble with me, she say I would not behave and always disrupted the class. The teacher asked, "Mad L what is your problem?" I answered her, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took me to the principal's office. While I waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed Mad L was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and He agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Mad L: "9" Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Mad L: "36" And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Mad L can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and me both agree. Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Mad L: "Legs" Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!) Mad L: "Pockets" Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Mad L: "Pants" Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...) Mad L: "Coconut" Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" Mad L: "Bubblegum" Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...) Mad L: "Shake hands" Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?" Mad L: "Yup" Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do" Mad L: "Tent" Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first" (Principal was looking restless and a bit tense) Mad L: "Wedding Ring" Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good" Mad L: "Nose" Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver" Mad L: "Arrow" Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?" Mad L: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blond came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there." If you're not sure what a 710 is click here - Photograph of a 'Seven-Hundred-Ten'

I give blood once a week an' once a month I march me little men into a jar. What that don't cover, I plunder!!

Where where you last week when I had fever?!!?? (note to self: stock up on crab eyes) Most common people are so caught up in their daily routines that they judge everything from the paste on today's weights and standards, to have to stop and 'think about it' or as the saying goes "walk a mile in the other person's shoes" is just beyond the average folk. Same holds true for 'future' as for 'past', present a plausible scenario for something in the future but relying upon minute details that may not be 'common knowledge' and you will be refused by most everyone if ALL facts can not be weighed and measured by something common known today. Just think about how many called the Wright Brothers loons even thou their whole concept had been laid out years before by Leonardo Di Vince. There will always be some people who will never be able to understand history due to their own prejudices or even their own inner anger and hatred. Oddly enough there is still slavery today, and not just blacks. In history slaves where not just blacks either. It is far more easy for them to understand that people used to line up to have leeches put to their skin to heal all that ailed them then to understand that at one time 'owning a person' was viewed no different then owning a horse today. And on the other hand, there are people today that do not undertand the concept of owning a horse, or even a dog. But it really is not so odd when you consider that there are 'holly men' today who preach that 'owning' anything is wrong and have the ability to convince people to give everything they own away...and on the receiving end is the 'holly man' who does not believe in owning anything.

$50 for a ticket?!!? Thar best be Pirates and a Dinner fer that kind o' loot!! Depends on what kind o' establishment it be, a movie theater I would just sneak in the back, all pyraty like, then af'r the show I would return ta the ticket booth and demand me money back fer it be the worst show ever an' neigh even had a single pirate in it! Now if'in it was one o' those ballet dancin shows then no way, I would chalk it up ta 'good luck' an' head ta the nearest pub for ta put that oth'r $50 to Good use! But if'in it was for Pirates and a Dinner then I just go out ta me car, put me garb on, and return ta the rear stage entrance and apologize fer bein' late. An' on the oth'r hand, if'in it be fer PirateCon2008 then Hell Yes....cuz if'in I could go then thar be No Way I would miss out on gettin in!!!!

I be taken me measurements now, have to wait till Monday ta order however for ta make sure the loot be in the chest when they go ta dig it up....

Ye toss the fabric o'r the parrot for ta make'em shut up, an' ye uses the thread an' needle for ta threaten the beast if'in he still do not get the message!

Big hairy Wookies and clogged shower drains

^ Aye, I tend ta be a bit o' a traditionalist as I really like Blackbeard. The man he did not want ta be rich, he just want ta be remembered, an' remembered he is. However I also be taken to the story of Klaus Störtebeker, for he be a pirate's pirate ta the very end, upon he's execution he make a deal, that for every one o' he's men that he can walk past after bein' beheaded would go free, some say he would have freed all o' them if'in that ruttish pox-marked executioner had not tripped him!! An' also he be from me fatherland, Germany, a nice place she be indeed. < shoes off, now where'd I put that rum? ....bleeding lizard been at me rum Again?!!? V pass the question again.

^phobias, interesting question. I do like spiders n' snakes, so their out. I have No Fear of heights, so that's out. Been married and divorced and while I am in no hurry to repeat, nope, not a phobia. Had me arm near bit in two by a 15lb Cuban iguana and still call him my son, so its not giant lizards. Not afraid of the dark either, nor thunder n' lightning. But I have had nightmares where I found myself at a dropzone I had never been to before and after checking the place out an' findin some good folk for ta jump with I suddenly realize....I Did Neigh Bring Me Chute!!!! And the sun is going down too fast ta run home an' get it!! seriously, woke up in a sweat more then once from that horrid affair! However....perhaps thar be one....aye, I do think I have a phobia. As a youth born on the coast an' with skateboard in hand, I had a itchin ta take up surfin. The first summer was fairly nice, gettin the hang o' it. But it twas the second summer, out on the surf of Huntington Beach, CA, while wiatin fer a wave I saw a HUGE dark shadow pass under me. Me heart jumped into me throat and all I wanted was ta get ta shore!. A few year later the movie "Jaws" come out, I took me date ta see the show....I never went surfin again. so, phobias, I guess it be sharks. Love ta eat'em, don't wanta be eaten by'em. <geesh, just got home, can't a guy even take he's shoes off first? V Pistol duel or Sword fight?

Here's ta yer little mate, mate! Aye, I know the loss of a bilge rat fer sure. Many, many, many years ago me pa had fed mine ta me python. Of all the rats in the breeder tank he just had to select me friend and best breeder male, Sox. When I came home and found what he had done, I so wanted ta feed him to me snake!! But no deed goes unrewarded, a few year latter me python got outta me cabin and found he's way ta their young pomerainien mutt fer desert every rat shall have he's day!

Avast! I hates Cor-pirate blockaids!

^Ahrrr, that be a tough one. Up till two year ago now me favorite Spring outfit be an RW jumpsuite, goggles, and sandals, and ride to 13,000 feet in any old aircraft that would get me there! But as me arm still be healing, an' some other adjustments a good trip to the gym myself could fix....I suppose now it be a comfortable pair of jeans, bare feet, and a comfortable chair for ta watch the pretty colors drop from the sky over Lake Elsinore. <gotta get me head back into the books, test due next week. V what be yer weapon o' choice and why?

Thankye Lady Snow, me own modeling skills be limited to props an' buildings as I have not yet mastered such items as clothing and organics. I did once build a replica of the jousting arena from the ending scene of "A Knight's Tale" among a few other. While it be true that accurate PC attire is slim pickin in the 3D model world from those who do model the clothin, but there be many of us who just keep barkin at them. I do have a few more proper pyracy attire but fer Li'l Bo Popett I wanted a more 'cutsie' look for me other pirate wench refused ta look...'tender'. oh, and Black Syren, I fear some other lass already beat ye ta the Scotsman...an' from the look o' that ribbon he be sport'n I guess he won first prize too

^ Dr. Syn, Alias the Scarecrow - I was too young when it was new but after hearing about it here at the pub I went in search and found place selling it. WHY WON'T Disney bring it back, or maybe even re-do it?? < shshshsh, I'm pirate'n bandwidth while at work. v who be yer favorite pirate, privateer, or scallywag and why?

But Rumba Rue, I did clip their wings, honest I did. Trouble was that they kept growin back! Oh, an' a parrot not the only critter that ye must keep the talons clipped. Just check me arms next time ye sees me Now about that fruit bat - I says Put A Patch O'r One Eye An' Calls It A Pirate Monkey, that's what I says!!!

Aye, Welcome ta the Pyracy Pub mate! ah, the Pyracy Pub, where ye can peeps at a thigh an' blacken an eye, at the Pyracy Pub. Where the rum gives ye gas but the pirates kick ars*... at the Pyracy Pub! ....eh, that what the shoe cobbler down the road tells me.

:o :o did he doe from the cannonball or the scissors? Well, actually I think the official findings were that it be the 2 pint o' rum what he put down just be'fer he took on the run.... moral o' this har story be: "wait at least one half of a hour after drinkin be'fer ye run"

wombat come from Oz?? an' all this time I thought winged pirate monkeys came from Oz. I be havin ta have a talk with that thar English teacher mum what whom made me read that whole bloody worthless book!!! *winged pirate monkeys from the emerald island of Oz, indeed!*