Mad Maudlin McCrumb

Just got back from Gypsy Days and Sea Dog Nights, and man did I have fun! Ran into Captain Cora Roberts (arrr, lass!), we were calling each other "Anne Bonny"(her) and "Mary Read"(myself), and wound up, quite by accident, purchasing matching cutlasses! Oh they are beautiful, too! Battle ready, thick, heavy, carbon steel I believe! ARRR! My girls went on a big treasure hunt witha ton of other little kids, and my oldest was chosen as Captain, and was she ever proud! THen I won a treasure chest, a pretty good sized one at that! The weather was cool, and clouds kept the heat at bay. There were ship-to-ship waterballoon flinging catapults, lots of swordfighting, witty repartee, music, drinking and general mayhem. A grand time indeed!!! Will post again if and when we go see Cap'n Bogg and Salty on Aug 23rd thereabouts... AAAHARRRR!!!

I think yer all pickled... Don't start a voyage on the second Monday in August. This is the day sondom & gommrrah was destroyed. Gee.. think I'll have a party.. think that's comin' up pretty quick thar...

Sounds wonderful... Where ARE you???

Oh dear! Is this the end of our spirited banter? I was having such fun! A toast, A toast my friends To a most worthy opponent! The cannons blazed and eyes glazed If only for a moment!

Where ya located??? What ya doin? What ya need?

I have heard a few really gerat piratical superstitions, and would love to know if anybody knows some others! !)a woman on board would bring storms? 2)whistling on deck would bring bad luck? 3)the earring was worn to improve eyesight? (turns out is based in fact!) 4)killing a bird of prey would bring ill fortune? 5)the stones in cod's ears would be worn to prevent a sailor from drowning? Got any more? I love this stuff!

Wanna be a little more specific on that? Where are you located? What do you need?

We want to be making a film about Blackbeard! I'll be doing all the gory effects (though me husbadn is puttin' a leash on me from makin' it TOO gory.. lookin' for a PG ratin' on a Blackbeard movie? wacko) It will open with a scene on a stormy sea, and Blackbeard giving his speech in his brimstone fume filled cabin while his men are all howlin and hurlin' over the sides. We'll have a scene with a keelhaulin' too.. I plan to use Reginald's fine bod as my dummy model.. won't be much left of him end of THAT scene! WE'll have him carry a gigantic cutlass, and get into a fight with some young Errol Flynn type with a saber, and smash his silly pig sticker with his cutlass! If Brian Blessed was still young enough for the part... though I still think he could do it well, we'd use him as our Teach. It will be told from the point of view of his first mate... Hand, I believe his name was? Music? Heck yeah! Somewhere between John Williams, Cap'n Bogg and Salty, and Steeleye Span... I'm lookin forward to doin' this one... and the one about the Sawney Beane family.. but that's for another Forum...

Hell, I write them.. better than I read 'em! Don't have anything published yet, but I did finish one, and I have gotten great reviews on it so far.. though my husband thinks it's so much sappy crap. Oh well. Mine isn't that bad... only one bodice-ripping scene, and he literally takes a dagger to her bodice lacings! It's hot! With this genre, it's usually historic romance, so the facts have to be straight.. and mine just AIN'T, and I've been bipped enough for it.. mines fantasy... purely... with lots o' pirates!! If anybody wants to read it, email me, and I"ll send it to ya!

Ahhhahahahahahahahahha!!!! Let's hear it for randy whippin' gypsies!

On my chest... on other places... oh that Jack Sparrow! purrrrr

Ya know.. it IS always cheaper to sew up your own clothes.. er.. costume... I did, and what would have been about a $400 coat cost me about $20 in fabric and trim... (Costume? I wear my pirate/faire/SCA stuff alla time, it's hardly a costume at this point!) Boots on Ebay are great, I found bucket tops that would fit my husband (a size 14) for $40.. and they ARE leather!! And they are generally about $200-$300! My hat was a black felt blank I got at an event for about $12, and added a plume and tacked up the side with a cloak clasp ($10?) It all looks pretty great... you can always improvise on a shoestring budget! :)

I'm reading pirate romance novels.. gonna duck now as the cannonballs fly.. gotta go to the library and look up this other great stuff... wiiild!

Ya call it flak... like the crap I get from my musically imbued, rather purist Cetic trad playin' family for writing the stuff! (hey crow.. if that is a day at YOUR office.. I wanna get hired on!!!)

I did email PortlandPyrate@hotmail.com... and never got a reply! Did y'all get it, or wuz my mail service being stoopid agin??? I can't resist a pirate Co. that's just out in Gresham!!!

That is just sick,... way cool... but SICK!!!

Iff'n I wuz back home, my friend, I'd get my red head out to your quarterdeck.. does being a hotshot with a rifle count?

That stuffs so damn thick they can walk to shore now... The only beer you can eat with a fork!

Yeah.. fer cryin' out loud the Royaliste hisself is practically family! Who are all those sea dogs? (and a handsome lot they were!)

Arrr! I liked that one!! Seein' as me own Mother named me Autumn, I can really get into it! You've made my day... And Weaver, my dear, that's only the tip of my terrible iceberg of bad pirate humor poetry... ya know...

I ain't old, yet... You don't get to be an old pirate by not knowin how to swim, me hearties! Oh give me a home Where the old pirates roam And the seahorse and the dolphins all play Where the trade winds are good And the peglegs are wood And we all can sing "AAAAARRRRRR!!" All day!

That was awesome you guys!!!! What a great video!!

I been shootin' me mouth off in the poetry challenge... You all want more????

You press gang yer females? Equal opportunity shanghai-ers? I'd work your ship any time, Royaliste!

Watch it. thar.. and what be YOU doin' with yer sidearms when ya ain't gots a wench on deck, thar, Royaliste?? I love my swords...