Mad Maudlin McCrumb

Thank ye mightily Royaliste!! I feel so much better! We took the little ones out to the beach over Father's Day, and I have never seen two little mermaids take to the water the way they did!! My littlest one nearly got taken by the undertow, but her Da had such a strong grip on her little hands, she never once looked afraid! I think it's in us all!!!

I be South of ye as well, not far from Captain Weaver in Portland... but willing to get around some for a friend!!

Alas, if I could get me sea legs I WOULD!! The best I can do now is cross the bridges in Portland and fly the Jolly Roger from my car antenna! I never get seasick when I am on a boat, and I used to take the ferry to Alcatraz back in the day! I wish I lived a little closer to the coast, I could show those lubbers a thing or two! I have far more grace on a boat than on land... does that make me a SeaDog? Or just a Sea puppy?

There is one in particular I am looking for, and I don't remember whose it was, if anybody can remember... It was basically the skull crowned in roses, (I believe the Grateful Dead appropriated it for a time, eh) I found a whole slew of really great ones! Blackbeard's devil spearing the hearts was one of my favorites! Any ideas? Pictures?

Aye, and from me, too!!! Hippo, Birdie, Two Ewes.. buit don't tell Reginald that!

That was so inspiring... sigh! It really IS as wonderful as I think? Pardon me while I stomp around the deck in my boots and swear that I am too far from the coast!!! Thank you for that description, I will sleep well tonight!

Tell ya what, I'm hard to miss... I plan to be wearing a skirt of wild, metallic colors, a bright blue shirt, and a long black vest.. accompanied by an extremely tall fellow in a kilt, with two beautiful little blonde pirate girls. I am very friendly, and if any of you find me.. do approach and chat with me!! :)

Well, yeah, so he doesn't have the most beautiful voice, but you get the idea... YO HO HO (Allison and Waller) Fifteen men on a dead man's chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike The bosun brained with a marlinspike And cookey's throat was marked belike It had been gripped by fingers ten; And there they lay, all good dead men Like break o'day in a boozing ken Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Fifteen men of the whole ship's list Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! The skipper lay with his nob in gore Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore And the scullion he was stabbed times four And there they lay, and the soggy skies Dripped down in up-staring eyes In murk sunset and foul sunrise Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Ten of the crew had the murder mark! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! 'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead Or a yawing hole in a battered head And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes Looking up at paradise All souls bound just contrawise Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Fifteen men of 'em good and true Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! There was chest on chest of Spanish gold With a ton of plate in the middle hold And the cabins riot of stuff untold, <- And they lay there that took the plum With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb While we shared all by the rule of thumb, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! More was seen through a sternlight screen... Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Chartings undoubt where a woman had been Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. 'Twas a flimsy shift on a bunker cot With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot Oh was she wench or some shudderin' maid That dared the knife and took the blade By God! she had stuff for a plucky jade Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Fifteen men on a dead man's chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight And we heaved 'em over and out of sight, With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Isn't that morbid? I love it!!!

Never one to turn down a challenge, or keep her red head clear of a proper brawl... I am a bonny pirate bold with a brave and gallant crew At least until the bosun's diaper needs changin' Alas, she's only two! We must set sail with the morning tide And sail back like a crime Or else the quartermaster gets cranky She's five, and it's her bedtime! Oh Captain Reginald cuts a fine figure In his handmade coat and kilt I didn't know the Scots HAD a Navy? If they knew, they'd probably wilt... That leaves me to run this thing And I'll take it as they come I'll work and sweat and do it all And drown in sweetened rum!

Ay.. the gathering actually happened.. I missed it, woops! The best piratical even I can mention, (and any of you West Coast swabbies might think to make a showing, it's worth it) is the upcoming "Gypsy Days and Sea Dog Nights" and it is not actually officially SCA sanctioned, just started up by the local rabble. Turns out we're going, after all, and it promises to be really fun! http://damondesign.com/seadognights/index.html here's the website.. maybe we'll see you there, and combine forces, no?

I truly miss Half Moon Bay... having grew up in Redwood City, my dear Mother used to take me there almost every weekend. That and Santa Cruz was like a pilgrimage for me every summer! sigh... word from home! Reginald wants to move me whole family to Santa Cruz and start a surf shop... I just want a BIG FRIGGIN' BOAT THANK YOU! greetings! And, Captain Sage.. um.. I may come off as a bit stupid, here.. but where IS the poll for All things Piratical? I couldn't find it.. but then, I am suffering sleep deprivation.....

You couild always take the shortcut and marry a former Mormon, they keep tabs on all that kind of thing... I, myself, am a direct descendent of the seventh Duke Lord Murray of Atholl, in the Scottish Highlands. Unfortunately the Duke was quite insane, and never married, so we're from the bastard end of the family... and seafarers from way back, but I don't know, yet, if any were pirates,.. will have to go look that up...

We're all mad here....

Brilliant... my tankard runneth over.. with what god forbid... Whether it be the King's Navy men Or pirates seeking plunder Both kinds doth look all the same When you see their butt from under We have Reginald to thank for this one...

Greetings Bess! Ahoy and all that happy swagger!

May have been the Panama.. I might be mistaken, the map is hard to read, but that's right around where we were!

I could get into what wackos thought it was a clever idea to break open glow sticks, pour them in their beer, DRINK IT, and start screaming when they go into the bushes to relieve themselves..... oh ho ho!!!

http://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/upn...d/cleveland.php check out this link my mother-in-law sent me when I asked how on earth the tune went for Yo Ho Ho... the old guy that sings it makes it sound SO haunting! CLick on the link in the yellow box on the right, and prepare to shiver yer timbers!!!

I think I'll get it going in Portland... this place loves an excuse to party, and if one bunch of weirdos starts something up on the waterfront and looks like they're having fun, then the others, not to be outdone, all have to join in! I asked Captain Slappy, and loved the answers I got Arrr... should I be keelhauling my mutinous crew for all leaving at once like a bunch of scurvy landlubbers just when I needed them? Captain Mad Maudlin McCrumb Ahoy Captain McCrumb! Belay that order, if ye please! Let's think about this like two rational pirates. Keelhauling is hard work! Ye have to tie the scurvy dogs up, bound hands and feet. Set yer pulleys (unless they're pre-set as they are on The Festering Boil) and then, thar be the "haulin'" part! That's hard work for five or six men, but if yer entire crew have mutinied on ye...who's left to do the pullin'? Aye, that's right. Ye alone. That's why Cap'n Slappy invented "The Keelhaul-o-matic!" At first, it is powered by the wind. Ye just clap the whole crew in irons, lock 'em in on a single chain*, hook the chain to Cap'n Slappy's patented "Keelhaul-o- matic" and the wind-powered contraption takes the first five dogs into the sea and under the ship. That's all ye need. Then, let Mother Nature and desperation do the rest. Ye see, the "reverse-lock" wheel prevents them from comin' back the way they came, so they have to "complete the journey" under their own strength." As they do, they pull the next batch of neer-do-wells into the frothy near-death experience with them! Pretty soon, the blighters at the end, are pullin' hard to bring them up so they will have someone on board to pull them through! It's so simple, and yet, so beautiful! And, boy, are their faces red when they realize they are voluntarily keel hauling themselves! The Keelhaul-o-matic comes with patented reverse-lock wheel, this easy-to- read four-hundred page owners manual, VHS tape and a T-Shirt that reads, "Sit down and SHUT IT! Or I'll use the Keelhaul-o-matic on the Lot o' ye!" All fer just $599.97! If ye act now, we'll throw in this "Keelhaul- o-matic Juice-Buddy." Sure, we know it has nothing to do with the Keelhaul- o-matic," but you could use it with your "Orange Boy!*" (*sold separately). Hurry, this item is going fast! (* Chains Not Included) Cap'n Slappy

Ahoy!!

Oh thank you so much!!!! We had heard of Captain Bogg and Salty and have been trying to find them for the longest time!! I know the exact pub they are talking about, and it is in one of my favorite parts of Portland!! YAYYY!!!!! er.. um... ARRRRRR!!!

I'm sick to death of the SCA and the authenticity nazis.. I am all for having a good time, and learning something historical (hysterical) in the process, but the next person that gets on me for having elastic in my cuffs is gonna get it with my cutlass!! Are there any Naurical/Maritime/PIRATE events here in Oregon? SOS!! Boredom will kill me before the barnacles do!

My husband and I are working on writing up a screenplay about Blackbeard. yeah, I know there's a bunch of movies about him, but we thought the modern touch would do it justice! Found some great stuff on him in the Big Book of Bad!

I'm a little embarrassed... the only one I've gotten so far is Splendor by Catherine Hart... it's a (blush) romance novel! And am in the process of collecting others so I can read up and finish the one I'm writing! I have the bare bones of it, but it needs more flesh than Barbossa... heheh

Wow.. I grew up out there! One of those ships was right under, or very near where our apartment was! No womder it's in my blood!! ARRR!!