Patrick Hand

If yer not wearin' yer shoes, it could cause some PAIN

OK.... I just posted two new pages in the Pyrate Comix......

You know... this isn't exactly where I thought this was going to go.... Right now, it's a mix of the Marx Brothers and the stoning scene from the Life Of Brian Who threw that rock? She did....(then in deeper voices) HE did... He did......

Only if you FAIL.....

Hummm... I haven't been to Dragon Con in over 10 years.... (I use to live in Tennessee, so it was much closer) I'll have to do a web-search for some more info...... Yeah, that is why I didn't make it to Ojai this year.... I had enough money to go, but I was still recovering from Burning Man..... I still have to remember to get batterys for my camera, so I can post a photo of my goggles.....

Hey... I didn't say it was a Woman Haters Club..... It is a Men only club..... There is a difference....

SAIL

Gettin' deep... war be that PAIL....

Kenneth , see part a' the funsies... is doing somethin' really stupid... just because ... then everyone tells ye how stupid hand sewing a sail was..... A hand sewn sail dosen't keep the water offa yew any better.... but the satisfaction of knowing that it works just as well ..... is better than any machine sewn thing.... OK... some one que-up John Henery.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Henry_(folklore)

Ok... in our non sexist world that we now live in, men can't go to Men's only clubs (kinda funny that there are a whole buncha Womans only clubs... go figure) SO this is a place fer MEN to belch and fart, and just be a MAN... pull up a chair, light up a stynky ceegar... and a fish bowl o brandy.... scratch yer arm pits... fart(well ask Jeaves ter point the fan in that direction) and just be the gross men that we are... Sure I know that Women will peek in here..... but how can we offend them if they ain't permitted in here ? So the first rule of business is.... !. Any Woman in this room, sneaking in or other wise, is or does not have to be considered a Lady.... Your mistress or favorite whore is totally welcome (as long as your are escorting her...) Un-escorted Females will be of course taken for what we assume them to be...... And I know women will peek... But then we don't have to treat them like Ladys.... (drat.. where is the evil glare smiley when you really need that sucker....)

I could comment about the secure/grasping part o that....... but ......... nah..... Unfortunately up here... the Women think the same way..... see... that is why I'm still single.... Wagh..... But thank you....

Kinda funny (a discussion about Authentics) I wanted to got to the Black Beard Festival.... Looking on their web page, they said that they were very authentic... aw heck... I could get plenty of references that I was authentic..... It's not until I meat Dutch, that I may have the go ahead... I am not picking on the Black Beard festival.... nor Dutch (who how I just met at PiP...) They have standards that they want to meet. even with references, they didn't know me.... We now got it kinda figured out ..... WOW... someone just looking at becoming a Pyrate, may think.... "I can't do that....." Sure you can.... Just depends (no dipper jokes) on what you wanna do.... if you wanna be a Pyrite...Johnny Depp, Captain Hook, or something you've seen on TV or inna movie..... no problem.... if you wanna know what Pyrates really wore, and how they were.... just ask us... (you'll get more information than you knew existed... we love to share.....) Hey... Rummba is a great Pyrate.... she isn't a period Pyrate, but she still is cool.... (I couldda named a whole bunch more ... but ye get me drift...) We are all having fun doing wot we enjoy.... no matter wot the flavor..... We are all Pyrates..... just playin' our own different ways.......

Awh... so is Arnold... and heck, so is most of Calaveras County.... kinda funny when you consider that Calaveras is Spanish fer Skulls.... I live in the GOLD COUNTRY, in SKULLS COUNTY.... and everyone up here are/is so boring.... Imagination is not one of our strongest exports... (Oh yeah,... and most of them don't even know that...they have no desire to understand/learn anything Spanish/Mexican....) Maybe that is why I kinda "stand out"... I can dress however I choose... Steampunk, Pyrate, (I use to dress Klingon).... ...Think I'll watch Mamma Mia again.... (borrowed it from Carol) ....yah... You see ...up in the mountains where I live I couldn't go see it in the theaters.... (too gay)... it's not the best movie ever made... but it is nice and happy.... singing along with alla the song might be pushing it... (no I don't do that) and after watching it... I don't think I've become gay..... It's just a very happy movie.... But up in the mountains where I live, you can't say that...... (well I can... but I just have to be very carefully about who I say it to....Heck... girl movies... something with a plot (other than they killed my wife/girlfriend so now I gotta shoot them with my (smack as he kisses his gun..kinda movies) ) Dang.. I like a good story .... and why is it only "girl" movies do that?.... all men ain't dumb lugs... (I guess the dumb lugs pay for enough movies that they keep making them.... rats...) Dressing as a Pyrate is no problem.... but watching "Girl Movies" and you might be queer...... (I'm still going to watch Mamma Mia... it was a fun movie... I'll warn you if it causes any Homosexual fantasy's, so you don't have to expose yourself to that sorta thing...... Besides ..... the older brunette in the movie is HOT.......

Because we ARE human..... it's just the way we all play...... We enjoy good fun juicy conflict.... Remember... Pyrates ain't PC and we ain't always nice (hungover and cranky sometimes).... (but we can do one heck of a good job/thing about allowing everyone else wot don't agree wit us here in the Pub to their have their fair say......(and that says something really good about alla us...)) Yeah... Hate is kinda a strong word for the topic.... but there are things that Peeve, make me uneasy... or I just HATE THE CRUD OUTTA.....oops OK... the Authentic vs. the Hollywood debate will keep going on.... (just the way this all works...) If you are a totally committed Hollywood Pyrate, and I'm totally committed to being an Authentic Pyrate..... does that mean that we can't type at each other, or post stuff in the Pub?... is it so exclusive that I can't say Hi to you if we meet at an event...... Ain't it great that it don't work that way........ SEE.... AND THAT IS WOT IS SO DANG COOL ABOUT ALLA IT.... we can each play the way we want... and have lots of fun doing so..... SO there are things that Pyrates don't "like".... I think we can be Pyrate enough to deal wit that......... can't we ? Yeah... I'm an Authentic... and an Airship Pyrate...... (just not at the same time...) Both are fun, and I will keep doing both..... Have fun... play it your way, there are other Pyrates playing just the same.....

Hey... no FAIR

Cats and dogs can revert back and survive in the Wild.... But if every single one of them was released, a lot of them would die...or get eaten by other animals.... There isn't some kinda Pet Utopia where all animals would live peacefully together..... My cat doesn't have to work for his food... So even if I emancipate him, PETA isn't going to feed him.... (and he gets very vocal when he wants fed.... )

Hey.... No Fair......I can't post th' one I wanted to post....... (it starts wit an F ...) so I will post a pg-13 one instead.... TART

NEST

Yeah, but you know dies at the end..... Hey... I didn't give anything away... someone told me what happened before I finished the book, and that kinda sucked..... I'm just being a brat here...... besides , Michael ain't going to look and see wots under the Spoiler.....

My computers video card isn't up to snuff to really play Second Life.... it would cost me about $140. to fix that problem... and every so often, I keep thinking it would be worth it to do so.....) But even with that problem, I can make stuff there.... HEY,,, I made a really cool magazine fed Blunderbuss (I needed some linden bucks, and there was this contest.... I just couldn't get on-line to enter.... But dang... it looks cool (and even fires...(someone gave me a cool "script" to make it work.....) If your computer has a good video card, check it out..... but unfortunately, we won't see you posting anything for the next three months..... you'll get 'sucked into that World"

PEST

Wot... something like this.... Make 'em meself.... you know those cheap high-carbon steak knives you can find at garage sales, I buy them when I find them,and grind 'em down and make "friction" knives outta them....

OK... I'll be bad.... I'm tired of defending being an Authentic in the Pub..... The Jack Sparrow clones are really funny... at Ojai, about two years ago, they hadda "Jack Off" to find which of alla the Jack Sparrows... was the most... ergh.......... Jack Sparrowish..... And... yeah, it was kinda funny to watch... Someone playing Pyrate. I have no problem with that.... heck, if anyone wants to play... Fun (some call it Hollywood) Pyrate, no problem....... if anyone wants to play more authentic... cool.... but it is their to choose.... how anyone wants to play..... we all get to decide for ourselves...... Now, I'm going to get nasty.... I'm an Authentic.... I'm working to make everything I wear and carry is as close to period as I can afford and make it.... I spend time and energy doing so...... Wot really peaves me, is when one of the Jack Sparrow Clones butts into a conversation between two (or more ) Authentics, and demands that he/it be taken seriously.... and yeah, this has happened quite a few times..... at PiP a few years ago,.....Captain Jim and I were talking about Period buttons... one of the Jack Sparrow clones thought we were talking about him..... got mad, and "confronted" at us........ hugh..... Hey, I don't force anyone to be authentic.... play how you want to play...... SO why is it OK for a totally non-authentic to ever tell me how I have to play?... I ain't "Holier than thou".... I'm just playing the way I want to..... because someone wants to play their way, does that mean that I have to also?... NO, I'm not going to start wearing eyeshadow just because Jack Sparrow did in the movies.... "Costume Nazi" gets thrown around quite a lot in these discussions.... but the only ones that I have ever been hassled about how I'm dressed as a Pyrate, are the Hollywood ones.... (Go figure....) and then they call me a Costume Nazi...... You can ask Red-Handed Jill, or any of the Pyrates that I know, and they will tell you that I'm (mostly) easy going..... I will continue to help anyone that wants to Play Pyrate, authentic or non-authentic.... But I will no longer hold my tongue if someone starts insinuating that I'm some sorta Authentic Costume Nazi because I don't totally agree with how cool what they chose to wear may or may not be.... At that point of time, all bets are off, and I will show them how incredibly rude I can be...... Play however you want to play... (I know enough Pyrates that I can have a really good time with), I won't force you to play by my/our rules.... But just stop telling me I have to play by your rules....

Yeah, it would be really cool.... But all I gots ter say bout that...... BURNING MAN..... Yeah... about $280 for the tickets, and then you gots to get there... and then you have to bring alla yer food and water, and everything.... hot dusty... PiP is really cool... Burning Man is cool also, but a different weird sorta cool..... Sure it ain't easy to do.... but what that is worth doing ever is?