Musing on the stages one goes through in a forum, especially this forum and probably not representative of everyone, but I would dare say a good majority.
Post counts may be statistically skewed by long- and short-timers (ie - the "MerryDeath" 's and "Capt. Wal-Mart's Cheaper Brother" 's ), but see if you agree with the basics.
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0-10 posts:
-Subject discovers Pub through a banner ad or annoying Flash-generated "Click Me" box on another site; enters Pyracy.com portal; clicks on "Forum".
-Browses posts; senses this is something new and exciting; registers for free, after taking 45 minutes coming up with a nifty name
-Usually posts a "HI IM NEW HEER TOO" intro; begins investigating the Pub with wide-eyed wonder and anticipation; tentatively posts one or two small posts, just to "test the waters"
-Is greeted lovingly and enthusiastically by a small group of unofficial "greeters of the Pub", much like at Wal-Mart- but with more sincerity
11-49 posts:
-Subject is feeling a bit more secure now; ventures into yet more new areas; discovers one or two that are especially appealing; posts new topics without checking history of threads or even looking at the last few weeks worth; one member ("Correctius Immedius") will usually point out this fact.
-Is enjoying their time here immensely; begins (or continues) to use "pyrate speak" in real life; posts a few more questions for the members, some of which are answered helpfully - others (ie -"Pyrate Phil" 's) responses are inane and nonhelpful.
50-149 posts:
-Subject orders a "P" pin; begins to forge friendships and alliances with several Pub members; decides they don't like Topic A or Topic B; posts first opinion piece
-Still raves about the Pub to any real-world friends / co-workers that will listen.
150-499 posts:
-Subject is now a "known" member, for good or for bad; quirks and prejudices have been revealed in posts by now; has several solid friends, one or two "enemies".
-Is totally into the ranking system at this time, drawing up Excel spreadsheets to chart their progress in color bar graphs vs. time.
-Still misses / is late for dinner because of reading / writing posts.
-If subject has boyfriend/girlfriend, they are beginning to be jealous of the Pub. If subject has husband/wife, they add it up as being just one more stupid fixation that they'll soon get over.
500-999 posts:
-Subject is firmly entrenched in the Pub lifestyle by now; is chatting/emailing/calling Pub friends; is planning on participating in first real-life gathering of Pub members if live neraby (ie - within 1,000 miles).
-Postings have slowed a bit; only reads select categories now; has posted several rants on one or two topics; has been pissed off at one or two members.
-Husband/wife/bf/gf are increasingly tired of references to Pub (ie - "Hon, guess what Mad Matt said in "Way" today - you'll never believe it!!!")
1000 posts:
-Known in the forum community as "the make-or-break-point", subject will now either stay with the forum forever, or go out in a blaze of glory.
-If staying, subject will become depressed and moody if they lose cable Net service for more than 20 minutes; if leaving soon, subject will just pop open another beer and catch Letterman.
1001 - 2499 posts:
-Subject has obviously decided to stay; posting continuously; not eating or sleeping properly; has quit job and grown a beard - even the female subjects.
-Hubby/wife has filed for divorce; bf/gf has switched to an alternative lifestyle; dog/cat has urinated on subjects leg
-Subject has repainted house/apartment in black/brown/tan color scheme, to mirror Pub layout; in last few real-world interactions with people, has increasingly used the phrase "Ell-Oh-Ell", instead of actually laughing.
2500 - 4999 posts:
-Subject begins to feel uncomfortable in Pub, for no clear reason; begins logging in anonymously; begins making snide and rude remarks to newcomers.
-Subject discovers need to produce small amount of income in real world, since elctric and water are usually not provided free of charge. Gets part-time job at nearby Wa-Wa / 7-11 / Gas-and-Go.
-Subject actually (shudder) considers wisdom of staying/leaving Pub.
5000 - 9999 posts:
-Subject is no longer capable of locomotion unaided; moves laptop to bed, next to bottle of sour milk, warm Pepsi and stale Ding-Dongs; has lost all touch with reality.
-Has hallucinations of RumbaRue coming in their front door and moderating them.
-Has stopped emailing/calling friends, since anything they now write/say is gibberish.
-All utilities have been shut off; subject goes to local truck-stop in bathrobe to recharge laptop; dog/cat has left them; small children fear them.
10000 - 19999 posts:
-Subject has posted their intention of leaving the Pub in several threads; constantly insults newcomers; fights with moderators; posts babbling, long-winded threads on inane topics. (!)
-Subject's family has listed them as "Missing - Presumed Dead"
-Subject cries a lot
20000 - 24999 posts:
-Subject now posts only one-word replies to all threads
-Personal hygiene non-existent
25,000th Post
-Although mathematicians have analyzed this over and over, it is still a mystery - at the 25,000 post, as soon as the "Enter/Return" button is hit to log the post, Subject disappears in a spectacular ball of fire, leaving only soiled bedclothing and a sooty laptop.
Afterword
-EMS worker who attended the tragedy of the Subject's flame-out looks at the laptop, notices "Pyracy Pub" header.
-Goes home after shift; logs into Pyracy Pub; registers and posts "HI IM NEEW HEER"...
