The Pirate Hunter's Smarter Brother!

[Elvira Montoya]

**Aside to Elvira** "Wipe you mouth, dear."

"I deed!" Looks in a mirror, sees nothing. Mumbles, "Ay carumba!"

[Black Syren]

Settles back to the bar and pours Both she and Elvira a drink as well as Ransom and enjoys the girl talk. Eyes the re attached zombie for a second and grins. "Did anyone check his battery life, or get a warranty plan on him?"

[Raging_Robbie]

“Oh dear, oh dear and ah me”, Ragin’ Robbie thinks to himself. “Such a pity in a witty stream that some of these posturers have not the brain power to contribute to the jest.”

“I will restrain myself but it would be so easy to lapse into a Stage Direction routine such as: Ragin’ Robbie suddenly tenses his beautifully muscled body and smashes the stupid bint a massive blow to the face. Even as she struggles with consciousness, while her ruined face drips snot, blood and teeth, he drags her by her lank, greasy hair to the privy and drops her in.” “And then I could have Montoya give her mouth to mouth resuscitation to bring her back to life; medicine being apparently another of his many skills.”

“Nay”, thinks Robbie, “I will not lower mys’ell to that level.”

“Then again”, he ponders, “I could use sarcasm and discuss her unfortunate aspect, make merry about her deplorable personal hygiene and speculate on her absence of character among this strangely noble yet bent throng.” “Pearls before swine and a waste of words”, he decides. “That slatternly shiela is definitely more than a few ants short of a picnic”.

“Best keep quiet”, he thinks. “I will simply say naught and continue to enjoy this clever tale being unraveled by Don Inigo and his cohort of crack-up characters”. “Sometimes discretion is the best policy, even for Ragin’ Robbie the terror of Terra Australis.”

[Jacky Tar]

“Oh dear, oh dear and ah me”, Ragin’ Robbie thinks to himself. “Such a pity in a witty stream that some of these posturers have not the brain power to contribute to the jest.” 

“Nay”, thinks Robbie, “I will not lower mys’ell to that level.” 

“Then again”, he ponders, “I could use sarcasm and discuss her unfortunate aspect, make merry about her deplorable personal hygiene and speculate on her absence of character among this strangely noble yet bent throng.”  “Pearls before swine and a waste of words”, he decides.  “That slatternly shiela is definitely more than a few ants short of a picnic”.

"That was a bit rough. What kind of piker are ye, that ye think yer better then everyone else? Trouble and strife at home and yer not gettin' any? No one wants t' play wit' ye, cause yer nasty! Go back t' yer idiot box, have a tinnie and come back here when yer done bein' a wally!"

"We welcome new faces here at the pub, it keeps things lively. But, ease up on the shielas or we'll all be given ye GBH's!"

[Inigo Montoya]

Inigo raises his eyebrows, rolls his eyes heavenward, heaves a deep, forcefully exhaled sigh, shakes his head, crosses his arms over his chest, cocks his head slightly, looks askance and jerks his chin curtly in the direction of Robbie.

"Eessues...."

[Raging_Robbie]

Name o' the wee man! Play another tune on that violin or cease thy fiddling.

Gender matters for naught in this pub in this port on the net. Tis all words Jack.

When not on the cyber sea I am mannered and gentle. Here, in this fantasy land, I am quite happy to be an equal opportunity bastard.

A person (women, man, whatever) deals me a disservice and I respond. I am after all a friggin' Pyrate. On the cyber sea I kill people and take their possesions for a living. 'Tis indeed true that fantasy and real piracy do intersect when my fellow like minded buccaneers and I make free with the MPs that be Three and the wares of master William Gates.

Don Inigo removed my head with a degree of style, grace and humour. That I do appreciate.

In the post above I was just thinking to myself. No action did I take.

Thank you for asking about my social life. I am content. We will not tally your hot repasts against the pleasant companionships I share ere now.

Back to the point. If you, or any others, do not want to play with me then do not play with me. But, include Ragin' Robbie references in thy posts at thy peril. Or perchance play elsewhere in this village when learned and enthusiastic correspondents swap lore and wisdom.

The ongoing issue of the reoccurring passage of my head from shoulders to the floor and back just goes to show how the pen is mightier than the sword to Ragin' Robbie the terror of Terra Australis.

[Jacky Tar]

T' Ragin' Robbie,

I believe ye have a better command of the king's english than most. Ye have wit, but yer vitriolic posts will light shorter fuses than mine.

I ask ye t' consider turnin' the other cheek, once and awhile, to those who are no threat t' ye. I'm glad ye have a good home life, as many do not.

I respect yer right to scuttle ships as ye see fit; I just ask ye to remember the pub is not a ship.

In this thread, we arr silly pirates and our posturin' is designed to entertain and hopefully make people laugh. Come in as our guest and mayhaps one day ye may leave as a friend.

Jacky Tar

[Black Syren]

Rises gracefully to step between the two boyos and smiles sweetly upon them both yet her voice was cold and hard. "Be nice, tis a place to have fun and meet and greet and yes even play with the others, no offense is meant. To any. Savvy?"

[Jacky Tar]

"Be nice, tis a place to have fun and meet and greet and yes even play with the others, no offense is meant. To any. Savvy?"

"Define nice." Jacky chuckles.

[Raging_Robbie]

Fairly said Jacky. Ye may have overheard me talking to others hereabout about Stage Directions.

Come enjoy a gargle o' this fine whisky wi' the bountiful Silkie and me, ere I return to ranting and roaring and gettin' up the noses o' folks by proclaiming meself as Ragin' Robbie the terror of Terra Australis.

[Silkie McDonough]

Silkie inspects Robbie from stem to stern fore deck to aft. After careful consideration she says,

I declare dis vessel fit fer sailin!" As MerryDeath would say "Save a ship, ride a pirate!"

All joking aside ...I do like ya a bit better now det I know wot ya b'sayin! Aye, language barriers!

She drinks again from the flask and passes it to the next ...glad that the thing never seems to empty.

[Jacky Tar]

Silkie inspects Robbie from stem to stern fore deck to aft. After careful consideration she says,

I declare dis vessel fit fer sailin!" As MerryDeath would say "Save a ship, ride a pirate!"

"I don't know about his sea worthiness, Silkie. If he sneezes, his head might go rollin' around the pub!"

[Inigo Montoya]

Somebody goin' to have to drop a piano on heem, so he can go sproinking out de door like accordion, den come back whole in de next scene, like I promeesed?

[Elvira Montoya]

Somebody goin' to have to drop a piano on heem, so he can go sproinking out de door like accordion, den come back whole in de next scene, like I promeesed?

"Inigo, we still waitin' por Cristofori to invent one, jou want a harpsicord?"

[Inigo Montoya]

Somebody goin' to have to drop a piano on heem, so he can go sproinking out de door like accordion, den come back whole in de next scene, like I promeesed?

"Inigo, we still waitin' for Cristofori t' invent one, jou want a harpsicord?"

Oh, jou right. Whad' I theenking? ...Really beeg microwave oven, den.

[Elvira Montoya]

Oh, jou right.  Whad' I theenking?  ...Really beeg microwave oven, den.

"A Whad?" Scratches her head. "How aboat a beeg bar wench?"

[Inigo Montoya]

"A Whad?" Scratches her head. "How aboat a beeg bar wench?"

No, too soft. Mebbe Capitan Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge?

[Elvira Montoya]

"No, dat wood be animating a carácter dats not jers. Jacky y Silkie wood be bery upset."

[Inigo Montoya]

"No, dat wood be animating a carácter dats not jers. Jacky y Silkie wood be bery upset."

Dass a good point. Baiter make eet a aircraft carrier.

[Elvira Montoya]

Dass a good point.  Baiter make eet a aircraft carrier.

"Jou wan bait?

[LongTom]

Dass a good point. Baiter make eet a aircraft carrier.

And how do you intend to manage that? Are you just going to order it "Drop Ship Delivery"?

[Black Syren]

Dass a good point.  Baiter make eet a aircraft carrier.

And how do you intend to manage that? Are you just going to order it "Drop Ship Delivery"?

Nay more like "Drop SHEEP Delivery"

You know how they are about their sheep tis the whole reason they came here is for sheep..Right Ingenious?

[Ransom]

Oh no, not more SHEEP!

[Elvira Montoya]

"Jou no Inigo all dis talk aboat bait, es making mi hungry. Her chest is heaving and Inigo is now within her reach..."

[Inigo Montoya]

Inigo attempts to duck the clutches of the fiend, but she is too quick. With inhuman strength she overpowers him, and bends to his neck, eyes burning with unholy lust. Her feeding frenzy is short-lived, however; she pulls away, retching and spitting, a whirl of intense disgust and confusion flitting across her angry features. What should have been a fountain of warm, scarlet life instead tastes like nothing so much as horribly ripe bilge water.

Montoya smiles. "Note whad' jou expecting, eh, Elvira?"

He disengages from her shuddering grasp. "Joaquin, show dem de truth." Joaquin looks uncertainly at his boss. "Jou certain about dat, boss? After all, dis thraid only PG-tirteeen..." Montoya silences him with a stern look; clearly he will brook no contradiction. Joaquin shrugs. Without further ceremony, the two Spaniards turn their backs on the pub, bend at the waist and drop trousers.

"De moon shows whad' we really are."

Montoya peers over his shoulder and grins wolfishly. What peeks from beneath their pantaloons and small clothes is a wreck of bone and rotting flesh.

Straightening and readjusting his coverings, Montoya turns and draws forth a strange, yet oddly familiar medallion from the breast of his shirt. "Thees ees the cause of our troables. Some capitan hire me to share out dis weird chest fool of gold pieces, jus' like dees one. Eight hundred eighty seven of dem, dere were. (I thought dere were only eight hundred eighty two, but jou know whad' a good counter I aim.) He go away happy weeth hees stone chest, den de nex' day I fin' five more dat fall off de table een my cabin. Dees one here, Joaquin gots anodder, an tree more seeting on the sea bed."

"Now jou know why I so anxious to raise sheep, eh?"

"So -- sorry, jus' a meenute. Joaquin, jou can stop wid' de waveeng de hinder at the pub, okay? Stan' op an pool jour estupeed Espaneesh poffy pants aroun' jour waist, alraidy!

"Now, where was I?... oh, jes....So, whad' now, Elvira, are we to be two immortals, locked in an epic battle unteel Judgemeent Day, and de trompaits sound?"