Elvira Montoya

Elvira turns to Ransom, "Jou no de difference between a bagpiper e an onion?" Pauses, "No, juan cries when jou cut up a bagpiper!" Elvira shakes her head, "I do no beleaf sum bodies es letting dat hombre near leetle ones, unless day arr dwarfs!"

Elvira turns and sees the devil, and smiles sweetly, "Oh si, jou can help mi in de back room!"

Elvira inspects the contents of the packages, and thinks, 'No spikes, crosses, or garlic; dis es bueno!' She happily helps decorate the passed out drunks on the floor and at the bar. "Hey, dis is de smoke machine mi juus por mi entrada!"

"By bloodsuckers, jou mean jou invitó dat Senorita St. Claire? Jou better hab a lap perro por dat chica." "Oh jes, Aurora dat es Tempest Fizziwater's nuevo nombre! If jou invitó LocoChole, we kneed sombreros de queso (cheesehead hats)."

"Got it, no necks! I hab a few snacks tucked en de back room, por a bite." "De list... we shood invitó dos dat were heer first. Jou no Lady B., Long Tom, Siren (de juan wid de rope fetish), and Inigo naturalmente! Ets no fiesta wid out Silkie. Dare es dat Tempest Fitzwater, heer change heer nombre e mary dat Capitan Silver, need dos personas."

"Jou may hab sumting Ransom. Una fiesta wood be bueno! Mi no jus the vintage, también." "Ransom how do mi say, jou busto en dis dress no bueno? Jou comb as jou arrr."

"Jou no ladies, dis Flint, heem no mucho lively por a young hombre." Elvira decides to put him in the back room with the rest of the unconscious pirates. "Siren, jou look a leetle blanco. Me hab Ray, fis jou a rusty nail wid sum cherries."

"Hmmm! What do me gusta in an hombre? A pulse!"

Lilly looks over at Nate.... What she owe you two silver for there, Nate? Elvira looks at Tess's cards and Striker's (Nate) cards, "Jes Nate wins, he has four fibes y she has tree trees. De silver goes tu Nate." Elvira sits next to Silkie, "I not hear tu play, jus bring jou de rules y 50 Reales." ------------------------------------ The cards are shuffled, and two cards are dealt to each of the players. Each player, in turn, starting at the dealer's left, makes a bet or drops out. Each player remaining in the game is dealt two more cards. The remaining players, in turn, starting at the dealer's left, makes an additional bet or drops out. Each remaining player gets a fifth and final card. The remaining players then bet a final time or drop out. Those who are still in the game show their hands and the highest ranking hand wins the money that was bet. *** The rank of hands from highest to lowest are: Five of the same suit. (5 hearts, 5 spades, 5 face, 5 diamonds, 5 clubs) Five of the same rank. (5 fives, 5 fours, 5 threes, 5 twos, 5 ones) Four of the same rank. (4 fives, 4 fours, 4 threes, 4 twos, 4 ones) Three of one rank and two of another rank. ("Full House") Three of the same rank. (3 fives, 3 fours, 3 threes, 3 twos, 3 ones) Two of the same rank. (2 fives, 2 fours, 2 threes, 2 twos, 2 ones) ------------------------------------ Adios!

Elvira gives Ransom furtive glances, and puts distance between Ransom and herself.

Ransom is still addressing the young lad and turns to Siren, when Elvira bites into the back of his neck for a warm pint. She takes just a pint and not a drop more. Releases the lad into an empty chair. To Ransom, "Whad? Heem look like a bilge rat tu mi!"

Elvira happily accepts the bleeding bar maid (Mary); not wanting to leave Ray short handed she doesn't drain the poor old girl. Mary staggers away. "Muchas Gracias, Long Tom."

"Capitan Leetle Bird, jou no read Inigo es cursed pirate. No drink quench hiss thirst, yada, yada, yada..."

"Jou no, jou don't need to raise de sheep! Jou can send Joaquin to pic up de coins. Tie heem to a rope y drop hees died carcass over de wreck. Heem find de coins y yank on de rope, and jou pull heem back up!"

"Inigo jou could of told mi, before I bite jou! Dat was jus fowl."

"Jou no Inigo all dis talk aboat bait, es making mi hungry. Her chest is heaving and Inigo is now within her reach..."

"Jou wan bait?

"No, dat wood be animating a carácter dats not jers. Jacky y Silkie wood be bery upset."

"A Whad?" Scratches her head. "How aboat a beeg bar wench?"

"Inigo, we still waitin' por Cristofori to invent one, jou want a harpsicord?"

"I deed!" Looks in a mirror, sees nothing. Mumbles, "Ay carumba!"

Elvira's attention is drawn to the smell of fresh blood. She wonders Terra Australis, could that be anything like an Australia Reserve Shiraz? "Look it even combs wid a removable cap!" She pulls off the freshly attached head and feeds..." Elvira drops the head, wipes her lips, and returns to the bar for some girl talk with Siren.

"Chica, jou been singing and singin, jou es berry sleepy, no? Jou getting sleepier and de whip is getting heavier and heavier..." Elvira's stomach is grumbling.

Recognising the tune, I sit up, suddenly feeling nausious. "Erp....Sorry Jacky, gotta go. This song always gives me the dry-heaves" Elvira is rolling around on the bar laughing. "Jou singing es so horrible, jou chasing away jou whood be asistenta!" Elvira ponders, should she just let Siren empty the bar with her singing. No, she likes an audience, "Siren jou better try jou luck wit' the whip chica."

"Jes, sing jou ultima song, mi leetle song bird! I tink a Requiem mass es apropiado." Elvira smiles an evil smile and lunges for Siren's throat.