Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts

'ello, Saucy Kate! I, unfortunately, never learned much about sewing, but I do like to shop for patterns. I can usually beg my mother into doing the sewing for me, but I buy all the requirements. If you get on the Simplicity website, you'll find lots and lots of patterns. Just go into the adult period costumes, and you can dig forever for great patterns! I think they have about 40 listed. One of the patterns is for a goddess bodice(?) with shoulder straps and a skirt. It looks very wenchy-gypsy, and would probably be a great pattern to have, if you know how to alter patterns. Also, if you have a Walmart or a Hobby Lobby nearby, you can get pretty good deals on patterns. At Walmart, they always have their patterns 1/2 off. At Hobby Lobby (and some other craft stores), they run pattern sales for $1.99. Much better than spending $12-16 on one! Good luck and have fun! Capt. WE Roberts

Thanks! Have fun! Don't plunder too much...it'll take all of the fun out of the next time around! Arrgh! :angry: Capt. WE Roberts

Medusa. (Snakessssssssssssssss!) :angry: Capt. WE Roberts

I just found a super deal on material...at Wal-Mart. I visited a Wal-Mart that's close to the college I attend. Like most WM's, it had several bolts of material marked down to $1 and $2 per yard. I found off white velveteen material for $2 per yard! It'll be perfect for the long pirate's coat I mentioned in my earlier post. Since it's thinner than the plush velvet, it'll have to be lined. But, it's not that stretchy panne velvet. It doesn't stretch, and it has the look of plush velvet, only not as thick. I think it'll look great. And, since this is my second time to get married, the off-white works well. It's not ivory, but just a shade darker than pure white. I also found some fabulous trim at WM for $2.78 per yard. It's gold beads and rhinestones...perfect for that flashy pirate captain garb that I wanted. Also, Royaliste, where might I find you at the festival? I'm looking for a ship to get married on. I had talked to Julie, who's husband marries folks on the Wolf in costume. They charge $100 for a wedding there. See you at the festival! Capt. WE Roberts

Topless...(giggle) I like that! Now, AliasGraceO'Malley, I'm certain you're referring to your Jeep. Anyway, I found the best way to travel to the PIP festival. I logged on to Priceline. I named my own price for flight+hotel+car. My honey has decided that he really wants to drive part of the way, which took a chunk off of the initial prices. We're flying into Ft. Lauderdale (from Tennessee, $200 per ticket-including taxes; etc.) and taking a rental car to Key West. It's close to 200 miles, but he says he likes driving. Plus, it'll be at night, and there will probably be less traffic. Anyway, when I went to bid on a hotel, I bid at $50 per night, including taxes. My price was accepted, and we were bumped up to a two-star hotel, the Fairfield Inn Key West. This was at least $10-20 cheaper than booking a one-star hotel through any of the other methods that I had tried. We also got the rental car for six days at $25 per day, including taxes. I believe I bid $19. With added taxes and other fees, it came to $155.02. Overall, the vacation I expected to spend $1200 on came to just about $907!!!! I love spending less money! Especially when it's $300 less money! Capt. WE Roberts

Oh, and RumbaRue, I just saw your post for the Little Red Riding Hood costume. Just thought I'd let you know that my honey (Bob the Swab) and I beat out another Little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf at a costume contest last year. She had a really shiny PVC costume, and he had a mask (ordinary mask = boring). Although I was really glad to see other folks getting into Halloween, I never like the idea of just throwing on a mask for a costume. I wore a (homemade) light blue fleece dress with a little white apron, a red velvet cape and hood, white tights, black patent Mary Jane shoes and carried a basket. My honey wore old overalls, a t-shirt that said "Party Animal" and had prosthetics all over his face. If you do find that Big Bad Wolf, tell him to get a wolf mask and cut the face out of it. This lets you use just the hairy part and the ears. Plus, you don't have to inhale vinyl all night long. My honey used spirit gum to attach the partial mask to his face. He also used an eyebrow/nose prosthetic, which made him look pretty creepy. He kept his goatee and I painted his entire face black, brown and gray to match the mask. He looked awesome! As soon as we walked into the place, the crowd cheered. It was fun! Capt. WE Roberts

Many thanks to ye, Hurricane. I have been scouring the Internet, trying to find the cheapest fare. I can't seem to be lucky enough to get through when the prices are good, though! On 9/30, I was shocked to find out that the trip I was about to buy from expedia.com had been marked down from $1100 to $980. Of course, my Internet was on the fritz, and I had to shut it down. That was right around eleven at night. When I checked expedia.com again, it was 10/1. And, buddy! What a difference a day makes! As soon as 10/1 rolled around, the price jacked up to over $1200!!! That's insane! I'm thinking about going the route of flight+car in Miami and hotel in Key West. That seems to be the best deal. Anyway, Bob the Swab says he wants to drive Highway 1. Besides, Key West is only 4 miles x 2 miles. It won't be that bad. Any other suggestions greatly appreciated, maties! Capt. WE Roberts

Anyone got any ideas on a flight+hotel+car packages? Maybe ask one of the folks from NQG or perhaps check out that website? Any info would help. Getting tired of being gouged for prices. Capt. WE Roberts

An ode to you, Claire... C is for CRAWLING. That's how you'll get home. L is for LAUGHING, as if your mind is gone. A is for ALE. Always need some around! I is for INIBRIATED. Now, get up off the ground! R is for RUM. No explanation there. E is for EXCEPTIONAL. Happy birthday, Claire! Hope your birthday is wonderful! Have fun with Mickey Mouse! Capt. WE Roberts

ARRR! Scupper, I love that idea...hanging from a tree! If I didn't live right at the edge of a road, I'd do the same. Of course, I'm never home on Halloween. In 1994, I was a sleazy pirate chick in a cheap costume with fishnets and spiked heels. I won nothing. Then, I started making my own costumes and buying regular clothes to wear. In 2000, I won $75 dressed as a pirate. In 2002, I won $50 dressed as a pirate. In 2002, my honey won $50 dressed as Captain Morgan. Not too shabby for some hot glue and Goodwill finds, eh? This year, I'm thinking about taking some of my old junky clothes and hat, spraypainting them white and gray, painting my face, wrapping cobwebs around me and going as a "dead pirate". I've already done the "live pirate" costume. Oh, crap! I just remembered...the Pirates of the Caribbean! Dead pirates. Darn! Now everyone will think I'm trying to be Barbossa or something. Grrr! Maybe I'll flash a little skin...without the fishnets this time. Capt. WE Roberts

Okay, Captain Weaver! First it was a dead whore, now you're screwing around with linguini? Wait. Screwing around with linguini? Ha ha! I made a funny. There once was a young man from Nantucket Who chose to sh*t in a bucket He lodged his hind end On the bucket's wide brim Couldn't get up, so he said, "Well, f**k it!" Capt. WE Roberts

~Swoon~ The perfect pair of Levi's? Without riding or bunching or highwaters or plumber pants? Oh, my goodness. I have to find this Original Spin program! I have to go surf the web. Scuse me. Bye! Capt. WE Roberts

6'2"? Wow! What a pirate! So, I suppose you have the same arm and leg length problems that I have.... Arrgh! And findin britches long enough is like scraping off barnacles with a feather! FOR NORMAL CLOTHES...other than pirate gear-- And, I know that every now and then, you have to wash yer pirate gear and live in what others like to call "the real world," so here's a tip for tall gals... Levi's has a new line of jeans out called Nouveau. They come in long lengths! Low rise (but not plumber pants) and boot cut (not bellbottom). Yay! I love this new style! All the "average" sized folks wear their jeans too long! This means all of us taller gals can have a good chance at finding pants that actually fit long enough to cover our socks! Woo hoo! IMPORTANT PIRATE NOTE: An average-sized pirate can kick your butt. A tall pirate can kick you in the head. Capt. WE Roberts

You can find different styles of boots anywhere from Stella's Sexy Stuff (low heeled knee-high and thigh-high boots) to reproduction pirate boots at Chivalry Sports. Chivalry Sports: http://www.renstore.com Someone also mentioned renboots: http://www.renboots.com Hope that helps. Also, you can look through some of our other posts. I believe TalesOfTheSevenSeas had some luck with the Minnetonka website when finding boots for her hubby. Capt. WE Roberts

Well... Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't forget that the 19th was "Talk Like A Pirate Day." I just forgot that yesterday was the 19th. Shame on me. I should be flogged (please)! But, I did come down with some type of sinus/allergy "crud" that made me growl a lot and tell Bob the Swab, "back off and live" when he touched the television remote control. IOW: I was downright mean. How's that, me hearties? Capt. WE Roberts

Heh, heh... Good one, Penny. Here's one I got in my emails today. I'll change it, so's not to offend any pirates... PICKLE SLICER There once was a...pirate named...George who worked in a pickle factory...after the king's army stole his ship. Unfortunately, he had a very great and powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. This went on for years, and Pirate George couldn't stand it any more. So he decided to seek professional help for this infatuation of his. He spent a few months with a shrink who finally gave up and told George that since his desire was so powerful to put his penis in the pickle slicer, the only way to get over it was to do it. George the Pirate gladly agreed to do it the next day at work. The next day he came home from work very early, about 11:00 a.m. His wife, Sarah, was very worried and asked why he was home so early. George explained to her for the first time the desire he had to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He explained that he couldn't take it any more and today he did it and he got fired as a result. Sarah gasped and ran over to him, yanked down his pants and briefs, only to see his penis perfectly normal and intact. She looked back up and said, "I don't understand...what happened to the pickle slicer?" George gave a sad little smile and said, "I think she got fired too." Capt. WE Roberts

There once was a man named Jesse Who liked his loving kind of messy He got drunk off his bow And fell in love with a cow And woke up in the hay beside Bessie Capt. WE Roberts

Ewwww! Captain Weaver, as always, your humor amazes (and horrifies) me! Here's one in your honor: There once was a man named Nate, Who couldn't find a woman to mate, He looked all around, And all on the ground, But still had no luck with a date. -CWER Capt. WE Roberts

Fantastic idea! I would love to go and meet the faces I have seen gracing the pages of the NQG website! Where will the bash be? Capt. WE Roberts

Fair winds and full sails...er, tankards! Happy Birthday, Cap'n William! Fondest wishes from Pirate Lass, Capt. WE Roberts

If you can't post, or don't know how, just ask Claire/PoisonQuill/TalesOfTheSevenSeas (she'll answer to any of the names), and she might put pics up for you. Of course, remember she's a pirate, so ask nicely. :) Capt. WE Roberts

Welcome, welcome! Welcome back to solid ground, RumbaRue! Lovely to see yer posts again. I think Captain Weaver was becoming a bit overloaded, what with being the only one with the clever quips that leave us either laughing hysterically or totally befuddled. As you can see, there are a lot more posts and members than there were before! We have grown as a pirate family! Glad you're back! Capt. WE Roberts

EEEEK! My heart almost stopped! I thought Captain Weaver was going to leave out the rum!!!! Whew! If it had've been left out, what would we use to toast your return? Oh. Wait. BEER! Anyway, glad to have you back, Luigi! Welcome aboard! We have had lots of new folks. I suppose that it might be due in part to a lovely, little-known film called "Pirates of the Caribbean." I missed you, you old sea dog! Fondest regards, Capt. WE Roberts

Well, I didn't look forward to studying American History in college, since I didn't really care for it in regular school, but it is turning out to be quite interesting. We were learning about Francis Drake, who partnered with Elizabeth I to "privateer," and then she came aboard his ship and knighted him, making Prince Phillip very angry. I was the only one in the entire class who knew about this story...of course, most of them are 8-10 years younger than I am...and definitely not pirates! I also like the story about the colony that was settled, but the Spanish refused to allow supply ships to return for three years, and when the English did come back, the only thing left of a colony was the word CROATAN written on a tree. I think that's very mysterious. I would like to dig deeper and find out more about the missions and what that word means. Anyone know? Historically challenged, Capt. WE Roberts

Thanks for that heads-up, Royaliste! Yes, Scupper! You have to use hot glue sticks. The best ones I've found are the low-temp all purpose glue sticks. They stick to anything from plastic to paper and cloth, and you don't turn your fingers into solid blisters when attempting that perfect edge. Tip: If you do get hot melt glue on your finger (I know it sounds yucky, but it works!) Stick your finger in your mouth. The temp of your mouth is several degrees cooler, and the hot glue will come right off and not leave a nasty blister...if you do it right away. I'd like to see anybody try that with Super Glue. Heh, heh. Slurp! Capt. WE Roberts