Capt. Westyn Elizabeth Roberts

Oh! And I just found another site that looks interesting. http://medievalweaponart.com Item M1863 They have a really nice pirate cutlass for $244.49. It weighs 3 lbs, 22" blade, 28" overall and is made by Windlass Steelcrafts. It has a leather covered wood handle and a steel basket hand protector. Looks pretty nice. I don't know about how it would stand up to a direct strike along the cutting edge, though. They have training weapons, too. Mostly Bokens and Daitos (Ninja stuff). You could also check out Windlass Steelcrafts or a website called By The Sword. It seems to have quality swords. They even state on the description that the swords are high tempered carbon steel, and can accept a battle blow. They have several nice cutlasses around the $300 range. http://www.by-the-sword.com If all else fails, type "quality pirate cutlass" in your search engine, and you should come up with a few good sites. The only other advice I have is to just dig. Find out what others have bought and like. Contact RenFest people. Go to auctions and estate sales. Look on ebay. My dad makes black powder period guns and very large knives himself. I don't know how. I just smile and nod and say something girly like, "Oooh, Daddy...pretty." Capt. WE Roberts

As far as combat weapons, I'd suggest an arms specialist, but if ye jest wanna have one fer show, you could check out ebay. I found a really nice Blackbeard cutlass on ebay, and I think I paid about eight dollars for it. It's pretty nice for what I'll be using it for...RenFest and keepin' me honey in line--Arrgh! It's fairly sharp, but could be sharpened. It's not very high quality metal, though. It's kind of dull and ripply (not Damascus ripply, either). It's pretty much along the costume-jewelry end of cutlasses. But, hey...it was eight bucks. You might try Smoky Mountain Knifeworks, if they're still in business. Although I don't know about the battle reliablility, they used to have some nice things. Some of them are military quality, and some not. Also, I believe that Chivalry Sports has some reliable weaponry. A friend of mine who is a cast member at the TN RenFest swears by their swords, but he doesn't do much fierce combat...mostly pre-choreographed and completely staged. He says that you get what you pay for at Chivalry Sports. Some of the swords and knives are very nice, but I don't know about battle quality. They do have some fight props, but they look nothing like swords. They're usually padded or are made out of wood. Most of the time, ChivSports has a disclaimer on their (costume) armor and swords to warn buyers against rough use or combat. In case you're wondering, they also have a number that you can call to ask questions...also an email address to ask questions. Go to: http://www.renstore.com Remember, I really enjoy trading stories with all of you, so if you do choose a combat weapon, make sure it has a good hilt and hand protection...please. And don't be gettin' liquored up with cuzzin Bubba and see who kin poke each other's eye out the fastest! Sigh. Arrgh! Capt. WE Roberts

There once was a crusty old pirate who liked to go ashore, get liquored up and then rob people's houses...like all pirates. Anyway, he had been watching one house all night, making sure that the residents were going away. When the master and mistress of the house departed for a night on the town, the pirate took his chance. He shimmied through an open window and was looking all around for things to steal. He laughed when he noticed that the joint was a treasure trove of goodies. He grabbed his big burlap sack and immediately headed for the silver cabinet. All of a sudden, he heard a strange voice, "Jesus is watching you." The pirate looked all around. He could have sworn that everyone was gone. Thinking it was his imagination and maybe a little bit of conscience, he ignored it and started putting the mistress's expensive jewels into his sack. Then, again, he heard the voice, "Jesus is watching you." He finally found where the voice was coming from. It was a brightly colored parrot sitting on a perch on the far side of the room. The pirate laughed at himself for being so scared and silly and then went back to sacking up the money he'd found in the master's army trunk. Once again, the parrot called, "Jesus is watching you." The pirate grumbled and yelled at the parrot, "Avast, ye scurvy devil!" Then, he went back to looting, wondering why people would teach their parrot to be religious. Suddenly, he heard a deep, horrible, menacing snarl coming from the doorway. When he turned around to look, a monstrous Rottweiler was standing in the doorway, growling and salivating. Suddenly, the parrot cried out, "Sic him, Jesus!" Ha, ha! Capt. WE Roberts

Ahoy! Yep. It's me again. Your notorious noisemaker. It seems I have an opinion for everything, and you'll probably find me on all the boards. Anyway, I had the problem about covering my honey's modern tattoos for the RenFest, but I solved it...armbands. Right. You can take a length of leather or leatherette and punch holes in the ends to lace it together around your arm, ankle, etc. This will not only cover up modern-looking tattoos, but it will also enhance your costume! Don't call me creative (or late for dinner). Just call me cheap. Arrrgh! Capt. WE Roberts

Coastie! Sorry bouts the lateness and all... May the wind forever be at yer back! May the sea air lift yer spirits as it fills yer sails! May yer grog barrel never go empty! May yer tankard always have a clear bottom so's ye kin sees who's a-sneakin' up! Happy birthday!!! Capt. WE Roberts

This could cause confusion or great joy. I just read an old newspaper post on the Net that made me smile. It was an older story (link below), and it stated that two men were trying to make September 19th "Talk Like A Pirate Day." Methinks that sounds like it could just work. You have to check it out. http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/ent...ent/4029728.htm Could be an oddity, but I think I'll start celebrating early. I know all my drama club geeks...er, friends, enjoy hollering arrgh in college! Some of them even made a movie, unfortunately before I started. Example #1: When the teacher gives us a good grade, "Arrgh!" Example #2: When we answer role call, "Arrgh!" Example #3: When some scurvy dog thought he owned the road...er, sea, and steered out in front of me Mustang...er, sailing vessel kinda sudden-like, I say "Arrgh!" Of course, that may be cause me mum told me to hold me tongue and not use swear words. (Think flying colors would be a good enough warning that I would be willing to push his quarterdeck even with his bowsprit if it happened again in the future?) Anyway, why not a whole "normal" day dedicated to the beautiful language, syntax and symmetry of ye olde tongue? After all, life is sometimes about working hard and getting ahead, but it's also about having fun. You only live once! May the wind be forever at yer backs, maties! Aaarrrggghhh! Who's with me? Capt. WE Roberts

Cap'n William, Me pops always makes the noisemakers in the family. Every time he hears about a new way to make noise, he does it. He's even gone so far as to blow up milk jugs with an air hose. Then, he laughs maniacally and glances over his shoulder to giggle at my mother's disdainful stare. He actually made a tiny little cannon that shoots black powder lead balls, although he's not used the lead balls in quite sometime. He usually just packs it like a BP gun blank, mainly because he lives on 6/10 of an acre with houses all 'round. Sometimes he fires the stinky little thing up on Independence Day for a good rousing scream from all us women. IT IS LOUD! The problem is, he made little wheels (I think), and ended up taking them off when the cannon launched itself--backward--halfway across the yard. He has made his own lead balls and black powder. He's even dabbled with cannon fuse and other stuff. That's me pops...he's really smart and neat. My tips, look on the Net for reinactor links and topics on how to make your own BP cannon. You might look under Black Powder Miniatures. Daddy use to make all kinds of stuff like that. He made one small derringer pistol type BP gun that was turned completely out of brass and wood. The barrel was brass! It was very pretty. He also made a five-foot long rifle that he calls his "Davy Crockett." Yo, ho, ho! Capt. WE Roberts

Aaarrrggghhh! I like the fencing scene between Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the newest Zorro movie. A little more sexy than amazing, though. Also, anything with Basil Rathbone is usually pretty decent in the swordplay department. The newest movie about Musketeers...the one that looks like a lot of martial arts intermixed with rapier fights, "The Musketeer," has some pretty neat fight scenes. Also, "Rob Roy" at the end...(shiver). And, the new version of "The Count of Monte Cristo." The older one with Richard Chamberlain is pretty fun, but not as grand a scale as the newest. As for "The Three Musketeers," they wear the hat, because it has a 5+" brim, keeping rapier points away from their eyes. Rapiers are meant to stab, as in fencing; not cut by a side blade, like a gladiator sword. Most people wore their hats to their eyebrows, further shielding the blade away from the eyes by means of the brim. Anyway, the hats were a fashion statement back then. "If ye wear a hat that is befittin' yer hed, then ye can purty much avoid a side-swipe to the eye, unless ye be the bad guy with the eyepatch in the Disney version. Anyway, it didn't look like he fought with his hat on ver' much. With a hat, you kin keep yer hed down an' fight up, blockin' stablets to your face and neck."--The Cap'n Herself. And no, Cap'n Redbeard, I can't think of one single time I've seen a Musketeer use a musket. That's kinda odd, huh? Shouldn't they be called Rapierteers? I guess Alexandre Dumas thought that would be a little strange. And, yuck. Please! Chris O'Donnell (D'Artagnan) as the main Musketeer? Anyway, I thought the whole cast was odd. The language was too modern, the actors didn't even try to fake a English accent. Even though the shows are supposed to be in France, American actors usually fake an English accent to sound more exotic. Who knows why? Anyhow, in the scene where Chris O'Donnell and Tim Curry (Cardinal Richelieu) are talking, it's obvious who the veteran actor is. Chris should have just told the casting director "no" and looked for another script after a few more acting lessons. Sorry to have stinging comments, but that's my opinion. I liked him as Robin. Capt. WE Roberts

Greetin's to ye! I have lots of ideas, and I am on a severe budget, since in the real world, I'm a journalism student who waited 10 years to go to college. Okay, this is a long spill, so beware... Well, I have had problems, like you, when it comes to patterns and clothing pieces that will look like period clothing. However, I have found out that the Goodwill store is your best bet to find material and other things that can be altered. Have you seen how many shirts with poofy sleeves they carry? And, just look at all the "broomstick" skirts! And old bedspreads/tablecloths/curtains make a great chunk of material. I got a full sized brown velvet bedspread for three bucks! It made a great RenFest/Halloween outfit! A lot of people consider Goodwill yucky or out of style, but a pirate gal like myself can see lots of potential. Anyway, the Goodwill stuff gets cleaned as soon as it comes through my front door. Also, if you have a white shirt, but you want a more natural look, forget about dye. Soak it in weak tea. It gives that "dirty pirate look" if you miss spots, but it will give an aged appearance if you soak it thoroughly and maybe add a little heat. As a matter of fact, my honey wanted to have a Scottish appeal (his heritage is English/Scottish) for the upcoming RenFest here in TN, and he wants a kilt and a sleeveless, lace up shirt, pouch and moggans (leg wraps to match the kilt). I am going to take one of his dress shirts, rip off the buttons and sleeves, dip it in tea, and then replace the buttons with eyelets and laces. The point is, you can make normal stuff look not so normal, if you alter just a tad. I also found out that there's a little fabric store right down the road from me that sells fabric (good fabric) from $1 per yard to $3 per yard. I found a square yard of leather LIKE material for $2 per yard. I am going to make some armbands, vambraces and a pouch for him out of that material. The point is, you don't need a lot of money to make an awesome costume. Just a lot of imagination. In fact, I made a pretty decent pirate jacket out of a red dress that didn't meet in the front. I attached tassels, gold and black ribbon down the front and back, gold cording, stiffened epaulets with fringe (on the shoulders). I won a pirate costume contest in 2000 ($75), and one in 2002 ($50) wearing an outfit that I thought wouldn't last me one Halloween. Not bad for a yard sale dress with $15 worth of trimmin', huh? I made another great pirate jacket that my honey won first place in 2002 with, (dressed as Captain Morgan, BTW) that was made from a black tux jacket, hot glue and about $10 worth of trim. Also, if you're looking for a pirate hat, don't dispair when you see those $200-$400 price tags on the Net. The hat I wore is a black felt cowboy hat (that met its fate when someone sat on it). It didn't look much like a cowboy hat anymore, and I was about to throw it away. I didn't, though, and later, I hot glued the two front sides up and then the back side up to make a tricorn shape. I also looked at pictures of pirates in pictures and movies, and I decorated it with feather boas, marabou, gold cording, and tassels. It looks pretty neat and has lasted 3 years. Again, about $7 worth of trimming and stuff I found around the house. No sewing, just like the dress. All hot glue. All stuck for 3 years. Anyway, take inventory in your crafts box, look around at everything and don't think about what it is. Think about what it COULD BE. That's the way to do it. Good luck. Oh! And also, Chivalry Sports store has some quality clothes and patterns that are Medieval to Renaissance and Elizabethan era. You might try there. http://www.renstore.com Some are kinda pricey, so I would look at McCall's and Simplicity first. Walmart stores usually take half off of their patterns. I can't remember if it's McCall's or Simplicity. It's pretty simple to replace zippers with laces or buttons up the back. Also, check out the Fun N Folly website. http://www.funfolly.com And, another specialty costume site that I like is Highland Rags. Their dresses seem to be familiar McCalls and Simplicity patterns, but you don't have to make them yourself, if you don't wanna. That's me. I don't sew. I hot glue. I let my Mama do the sewin'. I do the lootin'. http://www.highlandrags.com Remember...Have fun! Pirates only work hard at partying and getting the booty; not making the costume! I hope I helped more than I totally bored you. Capt. WE Roberts

Greetings, Gentlemen (and Ladies, if any have joined in other than myself...okay, maybe that's not the best description, ha, ha). I am new to the Pirates In Paradise Festival. I'm an inlander, but a pirate in me heart! I don't know where I can wear my garb (as far as places during the festival). I want to wear it all the time, but I do often get strange looks when I go to ye olde Walmart Supercenter dressed as such. But, I likes it! Arrrgh! P.S. I was also wondering if anyone out there had any information on how much a wedding ceremony would cost at the festival. Any info would be much appreciated. I've got pirate wedding garb, too. I think I'm obsessed. Anyway, BLACK FLAG FOREVER! Capt. WE Roberts