William Brand

Now I'm jealous. I was fine before, but now I'm jealous, damn your eyes. Great slideshow.

I find that on some occasions I speak like a pirate caricature, but mostly I just speak like myself. After all, many pirates were educated by the finest schools of thought. Still, I can't help but let a few "AAAAARRRS" and "Yo-ho-hos" slip every now and then. Aye.

(Ciaran walks into the Tsunami Kate, after talking with a group of pyrates out front) William, there be a group of pyrates out there asking if ye do "take out" orders, especially the dessert type. Are you asking if I deal in the trade of "flesh"? No lad. I'll sell no woman or man, but you're welcome to ask any of the dancing girls to dance in whatever way might suit thee and them. Aye. I'll not stop revelry between mutual parties.

Fortification, eh? How about some of this...? or this...?

Today's special is sturgeon with a side of potatoes and a pint of cider. And for dessert... ...dancing girls.

Yoda says that you can have the rest of his. I need more sleep.

Speaking of St. Patrick, today's special is all things snake. Irabu, sea snake... And some land snake...

Well, all's well that ends well. Besides, everyone knows that St. Patrick was a snake charmer from India.

It's bad luck to kill DJs. You can be cursed in the strangest ways thereafter. Can't hold a tune. Dancing with two left feet. And so on.

Foolheardy DJ. I finished a painting for my wife in secret and had it framed for our living room so that it was hanging when she came home from work. She was very happy about it.

It was a fine and merry St. Patrick's Day and I gorged myself on corned beef, cabbage and a plethora of Irish potato recipes. Aye. Hot coffee all around to the revelers of yesternight.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! All drinks are on the house til midnight!! Kiss an Irish Lass or Laddie!

Today's special is... Boxty (Potato Griddle Cakes) Servings: 8 1/2 lb Raw potato 1/2 lb Mashed potato 1/2 lb Plain flour Milk 1 Egg Salt and pepper Grate raw potatoes and mix with the cooked mashed potatoes. Add salt, pepper and flour. Beat egg and add to mixture with just enough milk to make a batter that will drop from a spoon. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto a hot griddle or frying pan. Cook over a moderate heat for 3-4 minutes on each side. Serve with a tart apple sauce: or as part of an Ulster Fry, with fried bacon, fried sausage, fried eggs, fried black pudding, fried bread, fried soda bread. An old poem says: Boxty on the griddle, boxty in the pan, if you can't make boxty, you'll never get a man.

(remains seated for the better part of ten minutes before walking to the quarter deck to a waiting water barrel with a thin layer of ice on the top and dunking himself in it) AHhhhhhhhhhehhhhhahahahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa... ...aye. That's better.

(pours another Guiness and draws up a chair) I'm reminded of another who bears my monicure and his words... Most sure, the goddess On whom these airs attend! Vouchsafe my prayer May know if you remain upon this island; And that you will some good instruction give How I may bear me here: my prime request, Which I do last pronounce, is, O you wonder! If you be maid or no?

im.prop.er (m-prpr) adj. 1. Not suited to circumstances or needs; unsuitable: improper shoes for a hike; improper medical treatment. 2. Not in keeping with conventional morals; indecorous: improper behavior. 3. Not consistent with established truth, fact, or rule; incorrect. 4. That which pyrates often deem to be right good and of note. Or in other words, what a pyrate considers a necessary part of life.

I do believe that you mean "improper", but I do understand the motion of your notion. Someone open up a window in the Captain's cabin and see that I remain uninterrupted. Would you like another guiness?

I may just close the place early. Aye.

Well...Helllllooo. (a wicked, wicked smile spreads in an otherwise calm and wary face) Hello in the kitchen! This woman gets to have whatever she wants! What...ever...she...wants.

Then we'll follow up the corn beef and cabbage with tea and shamrocks. Mmmmmmm....shamrocks.

Well, with St. Patrick's Day just around the corner I thought I might gear the menu towards the irish dishes... Guiness and Dubliner Cheese for a start. Followed by... ...and... ...and... ...and... ...just for starters. Dig in.

LOL! I dunno, anyone seen PtratePhil? Maybe I should be nibblin' William! fabulous creme brulee! Thank you, Fancy. Would you like another?

Thank you. The creme brulee isn't bad either.

I am me. The rest is just frosting.

My personal favorite is this little beauty... ...the Nina. The sailors who sailed on this little chunk of wood across the unknown were as crazy and brave as the best of them. I sure wish I had been on that first trip.