William Brand

There be too many clean pirates on that site. Where be the dirt? Where be the blood!? Aye. Too clean. And too many men with all their limbs!

Blue blood paralitic drunk!? AYE! AYE! MORE RUM!

But it's belly dancing and a fine art it be. Aye. (drums on a doumbek)

Crimson Crow, me fine lad! 'Tis the day of yer nativity and I for one be glad for it. Let us drink until we can't stand up and then we shall truly start drinking. I brought dancing girls. Aye.

(removes his hat and hangs his head low) I have missed yer birthday and for that I am sorry. Aye. I shall make it up to ye with the following belated gifts. I have brought these four keg bearing slave boys and a bronze tub from Spain for yer private quarters. (bows low)

Damn it all to Hell. And I mean that in the friendliest of terms. I can't stay dry here for ten minutes... ...which reminds me. MORE RUM!

Why does every lass here eventually want to push me into open water or dump a bucket of the stuff over me head?

We can only hope that someday the world will experience a crash of economy, technology and a governments. The day that happens, I'll meet you off of the Keys. Aye.

Ahhh. It looks like rain be headed this way. I love a good rainstorm off of the sea. Aye. (heads out to the waterbreak to great the coming storm.)

Aye. And we should conserve water. Aye.

I do believe I could watch mermaids swim all day. Aye. (ties a hammock in a tree near the water's edge)

(Tries to imagine Christine soaked in rum. Has to sit down)

OOOOOOWW. (gets up off of the floor before more stumblers come through) Where is my hat?

The lad was an idiot of the first order. Sooo I kept it friendly until he left. It was quite similair to having a bee in the car and waiting for an opportune moment to pull over and let the buzzing little devil out.

(YAWN) Wow. How long have I been asleep this time?

Now there be two threads! I want to go to this one in the worst way! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I need a drink.

Hollister!? Wow. (hangs head in sadness) My friends move closer to the old location and the faire moves farther away. Drat.

Ye be fine. Relax and enjoy the pub. All is forgiven when a pint passes between mates. But that does remind me of a story. I once had a "Stitch Nazi", as you put it, get in me face about the material I used in an outfit. He was quite uppity that me outfit wasn't "period". I just smiled me slow patient smile and looked at the white sneakers he was wearin' under his garb and cleared me throat. He didn't skip a beat. He then attacked me hat. I just smiled and kept on smiling until he was quite through. Then I went on enjoying myself.

What the...? I be not quite awake it seems.

He wakes up under a date palm and stands up to stretch out his back and stride down to the sea to do some spearfishing. He throws off his long coat, shirt and boots. He wades out into the lagoon with a spear and a pension for killing sea creatures for breakfast.

I would tell a tale or two of ghosts, but I be better at it in person. Aye. More rum!

Throws off his coat and proves yet again that man be not intended for the water. I be a graceless swimmer, but I can tred water for hours!

Nothing...at..a... Sorry. My mind wandered.

Yes. Yes I am. (the grin of a practiced scoundrel spreads across a dripping face) Yes I am.

Falls off of the rocks.