PyratePhil

I be goin' every year, m'lady, fer I don't be rememberin' how long. Aye - I always be wantin' ta meet Cha - heard Cha is a right proper type. But in all sereeusness, m'lady - I'll be keepin' a weather eye out fer ya :) I be easy ta spot - I be dressed like'n a pyrate... Aye, me too, but the downs - they DO gives ya a run fer the rum...or th' scribblin' tools, as in th' case o' some pyrate poets I be knowin'...

LOL - sounds just like my youngin'...

...and the harder you try, the further away yer goal gets...

Aye, nuthin' worse'n bein' a landlocked pyrate... "Water, water, everywhere, But not a drop to drink, I live in Pennsylvania (sigh) And Lord, it sure do stink"

BLEH!!! Sisco? Kid, he was a friend of mine...

...and you KNOW why they're called GEE strings, don't ya? Come to think of it, Cat Stevens wrote a song about G-strings...

You can find Stud-Be-Gone at fine retail and dining establishments near you...

One never knows, DO one? Those 2 hurdles wouldn't have stopped me then, and probably not now, either!

Since this be yer section - happy birthday!

Introducing the amazing new STUD-BE-GONE !!! Are you bothered by aggresive men at the bar? The ones who think they're God's gift to women? Do you attract players like a magnet? Do all the scummy married guys take their rings off when they see you? Well, worry no more - now there's STUD-BE-GONE !!! This handy little item, contained within a small purse-sized spray unit, will turn those Lothario's into Lamers INSTANTLY! One squirt, and they'll be running for the door! Amaze your friends and amuse your neighbors! STUD-BE-GONE is available in 2-oz. streaming sprayer, 4 oz. fog sprayer, and, for those BIG parties, we have the CHUMP PUMP - a wonderful little bracelet-mounted head unit connected to a 1-quart reservoir hidden in your discreet little fanny pack! (Not available in CA, NJ, or NY)

...you say "YO-HO" by reflex downtown, and are suddenly surrounded by ladies of easy virtue... ...you refer to your old car as a "land yacht"... ...your computer desktop has SOMETHING to do with pyrates... ...you can say "arrrgh" and "keel-haul" and not feel self-conscious... ...you have hundreds if not thousands of dollars invested in your Halloween outfit ...but don't see it as a Halloween outfit...

Thank ye fer th' mercy, Merry-ma'am! 13" - wow! We got an inch or so of slush last night that's rapidly freezing. But then, that's all we EVER get...

Ah, but now I'M in my natural place - at your feet, m'lady... (Quick Recovery #4,576) LOL - balance in all things - couldn't have ye thinkin' I were a nice guy...

Bar scene be fine iffin' ye wants to be goin' home wi' a bar-fly...

Ahh...a woman's natural place in the Universe - bowing before me...

...and there's also a nun and, o' course, a pyrate...

Ah, lass, jes look at it this'a way - Ye have 360 more days to catch up!

Cute! And the game is, too! Betty=

Cool ASCII! M'Lady, if there's one thing I've learned after having been married for 15 years - -it's to not elaborate upon my responses!

Thank you all, thank you... ...remember to feed the kitty on the way out

Hopefully granite, not limestone...

My eyes have seen the glory of a lovely wench's gaze Oh, it put me in a dither, yea, it put me in a daze And upon her lovely shoulders I had felt the urge to graze Her beauty shines on through Glory, glory for the wenches Like to hold 'em tighter than with wrenches Lift my mind from gutters into trenches Their beauty will amaze (Well, YOU try rhyming "wenches" )

I haven't lost mine... ...I know EXACTLY who has it...

Thanks, mates! A little voice in my head was telling me that Redbeard was Barbarossa, but I tend to try to ignore my little head voices...