The Pirate Hunter's Smarter Brother!

[Jacky Tar]

Sadly I watch, as poor Red Cat sifts through the burn't bits of fruit cake and sand. But I notice CrazyChole is smilin', and lickin' fruitcake crumbs off a piece of tin.

[oderlesseye]

But I notice CrazyChole is smilin', and lickin' fruitcake crumbs off a piece of tin.

Oderlesseye peers over CrazyCholeBlack shoulder ...

Is that a north - south east - west symbol ye has jest revieled

wit yer toungue? Hmmmm.. Perhaps ye has the other half of the map

Red Cat Jenny has been covertly peekin at ....

Now wharrrresss that Brandy eagh?

[CrazyCholeBlack]

"wot? eh?" Jane stops licking the brandy & ash covered tin. The chunk of metal is pulled back & forth as she tries to focus on the etchings. Sure enough, a compass shows itself under her fingers.

"oi! Red Cat, this wot yer lookin fer? N 'ere I thought only dogs burried stuff"

[Red Cat Jenny]

Ah! RedCat bounces over t' CrazyChloe who's swattin at Eyes as he keeps leanin over her shoulder.. That be 1/2 the map! T'was buried in the sheep shaped fruitcake! Goode thing 'twas etched in tin! Hmm perhaps burnt ashy fruitcake is an improvement over it's usual sticky rubbery consistency?

She calls out t' Ray.. oi! we be needin some Brandies n Ale O'er here!

[oderlesseye]

Oderlesseye quickly steps back to avoid nother swipe at his bearded mug and pulls out a "Forgiveness in Abbance " card to which absolves the bearer of such treaspasses . He monueveurs round bout the other side of Red Cat Jenny and humbly hands the card to CrazyCholeBlack.

she looks at me wit a questioning contenance, meanwhile Eyes glances closer to what else might be as reveiling....HMM the map, the expressions , and of course the creamy cleavage!

[Jacky Tar]

Jacky walks over eating a piece of unburned fruitcake, and offers a slice t' CrazyChole. He gently, places a hand on Red Cat's shoulder, t' stop the bouncin'.

Whispers t' Eyes, "I'd say yer cards are worth thar weight in gold!"

To CrazyChole, "Any markin's t' tell us wot kind of map it be? Does it look like a chart, or directions?"

Red Cat seems certain it's a treasure map, and starts bouncin', again.

[Ransom]

I sip my brandy and watch the huddle around Jane as all try to read the "map." The first thing I think of is, "Now why would anyone hide a tin treasure map in a sheep-shaped fruitecake?"

I tap Red Cat on the shoulder. "Maybe ya better check the label on that thing and make sure it's not "Hecho in Mexico."

[oderlesseye]

Hecho in Mexico

Agheueaa ... perhaps the jewled tankard is from the cursed Aztec treasure ... Hey Red Cat woty ye be doin to me????

[CrazyCholeBlack]

Jane, oblivious to the boys wandering eyes, begins to pick at the thankfully unburnt fruitcake slice offer by Jacky. Thin fingers pull the fruit chunks from the dough, sticky fingers sucked clean before digging out another piece. She keeps squinting at the piece of metal, wishing she hadn't nearly emptied that bottle of brandy. It would make seeing straight so much easier.

"Nope, nuthin bout mexico Ransom. But there's an X n "ye arrr here" I think" She holds the chunk up to the people hovering around her for confirmation.

[Red Cat Jenny]

"Don't get yer breeches 'n' a twist!" she laughs t' Eyes who suddenly lookes pale as th sand still spillin from various parts of 'is garb each tyme he moves....There be no undead monkeys whar this come from..Just fruity sheep!

...as a metter o' fact...Mr. Oderless..."Red Cat fixes the pale pirate wi a smirk.."Jes ow did th sand be gettin in me cleavage?Ye been leanin a bit close there !"

Laughing suddenly at the comment and Eye's innocently shocked expression, Jane spits a piece o fruit which narrowly misses Ransom's locks across th pub..

everyone pauses for second.....

a Parrot squaks......

"Ahem!" turnin back to th matter at hand

"and by th way th map is "Hecho in Peru! Land o sheep!"

A Spanish swear is heard from the kitchen..could Inigo still be here?

"Now lessee.. this X be lookin familiar..

I think there's a clue in the bottom right corner.. Red Cat turns ta Jacky, who still has his steadying hand on her shoulder and it seems th bouncin has teporarily transferred to him...making the Cat giggle and jingle..Jacky, ye has goode eyes..What d' ye see?"

[oderlesseye]

.."Jes ow did th sand be gettin in me cleavage?Ye been leanin a bit close there !"

Why Jenny dearest ~ the rolling of the sea in me legs as Eyes was handin

over tha Forgiveness in Abbance card to CrazyCholeBlack, I jest had a peak when the reachin had gotten a bit far... nothing intentionally ye know... nontheless the pleasure takin twas mine..

Oderlesseye moves toward the pub exit and notices Red Cat gettin the sand out eerrr bodice..

Oderlesseye steps out side the pub door , mommentarily to fills up some sand bags and shakes out tha rest. Ray gets to sweeping up the trail to the door and gives Oderlesseye a warnin about makin such a mess wit a warm but mennacing look..

Thinkin a momment to himself ...now would the maker of that Fruit cake flip the tin to the back side .... Whats there? "Sent this X in wit one six pence" PO BOX TarTUGA AVE< for yer pirate action figure? Hmmm Naw! It has to have some significance to me tankard.. :)

[Red Cat Jenny]

Shaking off th blush at Eye's comment..

One o those little "think bubbles" appears over Cat's head..hmm.. she thinks,

::could Oderless have figured the significance o his bejewled tankard?...::

[Ransom]

I deflect Red Cat's spitted bit of fruitcake with me cup, and it pings to the back of the bar. Afterwards, I shake me head. Tin maps "Hecho in Peru?" Jeweled tankards? Better check ta see if those jewels be cubic zirconia, mate. Me thinks this all sounds like a flim-flam.

I turns to Red Cat with a grin. "This be not one of your cat-ish games, now, is it? Or is that sand in yer cleavage distractin' ya over much?

Maybe we better check all the bits of fruitcake for map scraps, before someone eats one, and we have ta wait a few hours before the map be complete—If it is a map, and not the directions to the nearest WalMart.

[oderlesseye]

Oderlesseye now makes his entrance back into da Pub; now sand free.

looks over ta th crowd round about a bit of a black spot wit shiny things

mixed in wit it on the floor... approaching closer Oderlesseye begins scrating his aarrs and behind his ear... False Ransom begins scratchin too. Oh NO... Sand Flees! , Oderlesseye exclaims..

NOw is this a Map rrrr wot Mates?

[Ransom]

"Bloody hell, Eyes, did ya have ta bring them little hoppin' creature in with ya?" I notice that Red Cat, Jane, and Jacky are all scratchin' and itchin'.

"Least ya could do, mate, is carry a can of flea spray with ya."

[Red Cat Jenny]

"Fleas! Fleas Navidad! " "Aaaaccckkkk!!"

Red Cat begins t' run about t' pub in an itchy panic.. knockin over a snowman figure who's head falls off and rolls across th floor scarinn th dogs..They jump up scratchin as well n make fer the door almost knockin Eyes over as they dash between his knees. One grabs a mouthful o snowman as he runs by leaving stuffin flyin about in th fray..

She's cursin n wavin er arms about. "Ray! do summin! eeeep!"..

Jacky looks like he's just been snowed upon as the stuffin flakes land on his self....

All five pirates look ta be doin a maniacal jig from th itchin

[Jacky Tar]

I brush off the stuffin flakes, and start laughin' when I hear Red Cat say, 'Fleas Navidad!'

Ray comes out of the pub galley wit' roasted garlic, garlic pizza and garlic toast. "Well if the garlic doesn't drive away the fleas, we'll drive away each other."

"Fer yer own protection mates, I recommend ye all eat some." I take a big bite of roasted garlic, and wash it down wit' ale.

[Ransom]

"Okay, I'll take a few bites of garlic pizza, but that's as far as I'm going to go."

I take two or three bites of the stuff, but the little hoppers seem set to stay. Having no desire to be home to fleas, I head behind the bar, douse myself with rum, and watch the little guys abandon ship.

With a sly grin at Jacky, I say, "So, Luv, wanna help get this rum cleaned off me?"

[Jacky Tar]

"Yes, I'd luv t' get that rum off ye, yer startin' t' smell like Striker!" I walk behind the bar, and grab a brush, some towels, and soap.

[Ransom]

"Belay that, Luv, you'll give me a rash with that stuff."

Mumblin under me breath, "Pyrates, dense as a post be times." I take a bar towel and wipe the rum off me arms and neck, then toss it at Jacky.

"Missed yer chance, mate."

[Jacky Tar]

"Pyrates, dense as a post be times."

I mumble, and chuckle, "Not as dense as ye think luv! Ye missed a chance t' bath together." (sigh) "This wasn't lye soap, it was a gentle, soothin' body wash."

[Ransom]

"Sure, and that's what they all say, once the moment's passed um by."

I peer at the soap Jacky holds out. I see the word coconut. "Umm, okay, maybe I changed me mind. Do yer worst...or yer best, depending on how ya want to look at it.

[Jacky Tar]

"Yer right, when the moment has passed, it has passed." Jacky returns the brush, and soap to Ray, who is chucklin'.

"Don't go near any open flames luv, wouldn't want t' go up in flames like that fruitcake!"

[Red Cat Jenny]

The pungent yet tasty smell o garlic surrounds all... Eye's eyes start t' water..

Red Cat grabs a hot buttery slice o garlicky bread

"MMMmmm!" She declares! grinnin with a bit of butter runnin down one cheek....

"This'll do th trick I believe..Ye just gotta give it a minute.."They all stare and after a second or two the tiny terrors be walkin the plank and makin a bee line fer the door. "Take that ye scaberous dog chewers!" she shouts waving a slice o pizza over the retreatin line..

"Ray, GIN!....gin would be lovely wi this!

The Cat quickly passes around the yummy aromatic goodies Ray has prepared careful t' keep the chafing pots away from Ransom lest she burst inta early fireworks..

Jacky will ya bring yer coconut scented, flake covered self o'er here n hand me a napkin r two? I think there be some left o'er from Halloween.

Then mayhaps ye best be handin Ransom a few t sop up the rest o the Rum afor she become stuck ta summin from th sugar?

[Ransom]

I deside I'm becoming a little too sticky, and have no desire to become a pyrate torch, so head to the Pub Ladies room to wash up. Since most of the rum soaked into my shirt, I take it off, hold it under the hot water, and rinse, then squeeze all the water out. I jiggle the hand-soap despenser a zillion times, lather up, then rinse and pat dry with paper towels. With a shiver, I put my wet, but no longer rum-soaked or flea infested, shirt back on, then leave the head.

Still shivering from the clammy wet shirt, I signal to Ray, "I'll hh have..ve..ve a hhh hot toddy, ppppleeese."