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And Before PARF is...


PyratePhil

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City Resident Mugged by Pyrates

WILKES-BARRE

Police were baffled this morning by an apparent mugging at the site of the Endless Mountains Medieval Festival in the city.

The victim, Jonathan Hafwitt, 28, is a known criminal with a long history of muggings, home invasions, carjackings, and butterfly collection thefts.

Police are seeking any witnesses to this unique attack. When asked to comment, Police Chief John Vayne replied, "I ain't never seen nuthin' like this in my life, no-how! As you can see, there's a bunch of parrot tailfeathers around the chalk outline. This was our first inkling that something wasn't right. The skull and crossbones tatoo that they carved into his forehead makes us think it's some kind of hate-crime, but not any group that we know about."

" But that belaying pin - man, where they put that was REALLY criminal!", he said with a chuckle.

Mr. Hafwitt declined to be interviewed at Mercy Hospital's ICU, but eyewitnesses claim he was muttering, "PYRATES! It was a bunch of PYRATES..."

...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum...

~ Vegetius

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Mr. Hafwitt declined to be interviewed at Mercy Hospital's ICU, but eyewitnesses claim he was muttering, "PYRATES! It was a bunch of PYRATES..."

LOL! :lol: If that ends up happening, I hope that some kind pirate films the beating so that the rest of the crew can watch and laugh later. :)

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Pyrate Mugging, cont. from pg. 1 (and speaking of girls gone wild . . .)

. . . other eye-witnesses were two women standing by the scene of the crime, one waving to the camera, the other mutturing under her breath about "not needing a comission on the (censored)'s skin, for not having the decency to die when attacked by pirates and finishing the job herself). Both refused to comment other than to say "Hi Mom!" and "I'll give you a comment, boyo!" Both were strangely clothed, and armed with what appeared to be cutlasses . . .

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  • 1 month later...

Just an update on this Fest...

I took a little recon drive around the Coal Street Park site...as I may have mentioned earlier in this thread (too lazy to check), it's an urban setting.

A LOT of concrete surfaces, a kid's playground, a few trees...visions of me dressed in costume swinging on the baby swings came to mind...

I guess what I'm getting at here is, if you're thinking of driving a long distance to attend this Fest, you might want to think twice. I'm TRYING to be positive about this, but I have a bad feeling about this location...

I hope I'm wrong...I'd love to see the Festival take off...but then, I'm never wrong. :lol:

...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum...

~ Vegetius

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:lol: i still say, pphil, the fest is what you make it - nothing more, nothing less. i go to have fun with friends and any excuse to go out in garb works for me! :lol:

~snow :D

with faith, trust and pixiedust, everything is possible ;)

if it be tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

IWG #3057 - Local 9

emmf steel rose player - bella donna, 2005

improv cast member and dance instructor - fort tryon medieval festival

lady neige - midsummer renaissance faire

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  • 3 weeks later...
Phil! I've been hearin' some rumours going around that ye've gone and got yourself cast in this here fest! Congrats!

This should make things more fun for the other pirates attending . . . B)B)B)

Aye, m'lady, the rumor-mongers be tellin' true...

...I think they be castin' me as "The Third Speed-Bump on the Left"... B)

Lady Christine-

I know it weren't you - yer lips ar' pretty tight...

...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum...

~ Vegetius

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  • 4 weeks later...

Alright gang! We've been talking about it for months! The time is nigh approching! Whose going to be there the 29th? I'm planning a road trip! Can't make it the next weekend, cause I'm graduating, and I can't make it all weekend, cause I work an 8-hour shift on Saturday - but I ain't schedualed for Sunday the 29th, so me and me mates might pack up the boat, and head north!

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I be hopin' ye kin' make it, lass...'tis a fine fest it be shapin' inta...

Iffin' I know ye be arrivin', I'd even be considerin' takin' me PP badge outa' cold storage 'n' greetin' ye proper!

...Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum...

~ Vegetius

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At this point, I just need to find some roadies to go with me (I canna drive meself at this point) And I'll be sure to find ye when I arrive! Can't go all that way and not meet PyratePhil!

As for the beer tent . . . *sigh*three more years*sigh* :( How does your pirate code of ethics treat the subject of beer theiving for the repressed discriminated minority of responsible underagers? ;):P:unsure:

B)

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