MadL

T'was a lot o' scream'n, but not that o' victims be'n pillaged 'n plunder'd, much worse it twas....like ally cats be'n run over by a steam roller then drag'd down th' street by their tails. I think they came out right after th' last o' th' raffle was over, but much before I finished me drink...could no longer have a conversation with anyone, even when we tried screaming, so we finished our drinks, in much hurry, then left. Certainly not a pirate group, even Bilge Munky would refuse t' play that noise, 'n he pretty lenient when it come t' 'noise'.

I was go'n t' do me boot knife's handle but then got t' think'n ('n drink'n rum fer th' pain) that now I have Shoes so I have no place for t' carry a 'Boot' knife!! So after much rum it occur'd t' me that I do not like th' look nor feel o' th' cheap leather grip'n on me stage sword, So.... Here be me first stage, a simple graphing o' Tarred Hemp twine. I am think'n ('n hurt'n again) that perhaps a Turk's Head on each end t' finish her off, just gotta find th' correct size twine...either th' 4-strand hemp I split int'a two 2-stand (kinda fuzzy thou) or I have some 1mm tarred left from some lanyards I was make'n.....blond pirates HATE decisions, but as th' answer always involves Rum, it aint so bad. Stage #1, th' graphing: she feels so much better in me hand now already, smells sweet too!!

More PC Madness! "I'm A Rover" will now be sung as follows: Well the night be dark as dungeon not a star to be seen above I will be guided, without a stumble To the arms o' me onlyfriend I went to her bed room window, Came up gently upon a stone I wrapped upon her father's window, "Dear sir will ye chaparon?" Chorus: For, I'm a rover who's journey never over I'm a rover of high decree An' when i'm think'n, I'm always stink'n Of how to gain my loves company She raised her head from her feather pillow With her arms up around her head, Sayin', "Who's out my window distubing me at my long celibacy?" "'Tis but me, you own true friend, Open the door and please let me in For, I have come a long wet journey, And I'm here dreanched to the skin." Chorus: For, I'm a rover who's journey never over I'm a rover of high decree An' when i'm think'n, I'm always stink'n Of how to gain my loves company She opened the door with the greatest pleasure! Opened the door, AND she let me in! Her father rushed in, blunderbuss in hand, 'Til the morn we drank tea 'n laughed. "But now, Me friend, I must go and leave you. Allthough the mountains be high above- I will climb them for greater pleasure, than I've been with me only friend!" Chorus: For, I'm a rover who's journey never over I'm a rover of high decree An' when i'm think'n, I'm always stink'n Of how to gain my loves company 'n "The Old Black Rum" will now be "The DAD's Root Beer" as follows: I drank 16 Root Beers for the price of one tryin to find the courage to talk to one I asked her for a dance, not a second glance my night had just begun Well I'd drink Root Beer to the father or the holy ghost kneeling at the alter of my nightly post and I'll raise a glass of Root Beer, not the first or last come join me in some buttered toast Chorus: 'Cause the old DAD's Root Beer got a hold on me like th' dog wrapped 'round my leg and the old DAD's Root Beer got a hold on me will I live for another day The queen of George Street just went walkin' on by walkin' on by with some guy who don't care that she stood in line since half past nine and spent three hours on her hair Her friend is lookin' at me with an evil grin I think a bloody racket might soon begin I must have said something to the George Street queen now the boys are joining in. Chorus: 'Cause the old DAD's Root Beer got a hold on me like th' dog wrapped 'round my leg and the old DAD's Root Beer got a hold on me will I live for another day So I drank all my money in Root Beer and I slept out in the rain Every day is different, but the nights are all the same You never see the sun on the old DAD's Root Beer and I know I'm gonna do it again.

Aye, I says this time we load that cannon fer real's 'n if they get up on that stage 'n takes t' caterwaller'n again we just point it at them 'n stand our ground - after all, WE BE PIRATES! Make 'Em Dance In The Jig We Will!!! ....besides, all them other "PC" groups say it "it be for the children's sake" - But WE really Mean It!!!!

Patrick Hand in Pirate Speedo's......now thar be a thought t' make ye spit up th' rum, curl up in a corner with fear, 'n keep ye up all night with two pistols at th' ready!!

I got in!! Found me hole in th' back, just behind th' rum caskets! ....oops, here come th' bouncers!

Well here be somethin' t' keep a lonely Florida pirate busy: So how 'bout another round...t' get in shape that be

A lady cross dress'n pirate? Can ye say "Marry Reed"!!

Ahoy fair Sarah, tis so nice for ye t' grace our humble Pub with yer gracious beauty, 'n in such finery as no ilk here has seen as well! ::check's me tongue...:: Me tongue's naught silver....? Perhaps some more rum

Aye! SEA WYNDE!! 'n do naught let them deprive yer pallet, it taste just fine STRAIGHT from th' bottle! Appleton be a fine rum as well, 'n Pussers. Ron Matusalem Cuban rum as well, but not th' Gran Reserva, it cost more but not as good. But ye can naught go wrong with Sea Wynde, 'n if ye find ye dont's like it then just toss th' rest my way BUT DO NAUGHT MIX IT - fowling good rum will get ye toss'd overboard!

I found me a practical Pyrate Pistol Holster:

HUZZA Silkie!! I fell off that bloody line three bottles ago Gotta love a pyrate what can hold her rum!

BACK OFF! I AIN'T NO ONE'S CABIN BOY!! ...except'n fer Capt'n Young Colleen McBust o' th' good ship Queen Fairy *strolls off sing'n* "That Liverpool ship, that wonderful ship, now that’s the ship for me She’s called the Queen Fairy and she’s quite a sight to see The ship’s all manned by women, not a single bloke in sight Except for me, the cabin boy, who tucks them in at night. Our Captain, Young Colleen McBust, now she was best of all She has two certain features just as large as cannonballs Like two moons they’re big and round and alabaster white And like all heavenly bodies, they’re sure to come out tonight! That Liverpool ship, that wonderful ship, now that’s the ship for me...."

Well, ye could tie one o' them tails t' back o' yer belt, then make a jock strap from one ' them skulls 'n...... ....Naw! Too Weird! ::from one who wheres a chicken foot what be flipp'n everyone th' Bird::

nor that they were not made in a sweat shop in th' back woods o' some half deserted town in th' mid-west (or mid-east depend'en on which way ye be look'n) by some underpaid, under aged, half starved kids while Kirstie Alley looms over them shaking a turkey leg 'n shouting "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" Kirstie Alley: "Are you people listening to me?!? I am having a STROKE here people, Call 911!!!"

Once I get up some more coin I am looking int' applying a coat o'....something....on th' bottoms. I read in one Ren Faire forum where people where putting "Sticky Carpet Glue" on th' bottoms o' leather soles t' add traction, there is also this stuff from a moccasin maker I think may be better, only he says it only comes in black, not clear. I am also thinking maybe Shoe Goop but that stuff is fairly permanent but would be clear. I was aboard ship a few time with me leather soul boots, they have rubber heels so I learned t' lean back...a bit awkward at first as I have always been trained t' walk on th' front o' me feet, but once learned they were fine....except for once when I was asked t' "run across th' deck and up them steps then t' back o' th' ship" (iPhone of the Caribbean flic) when I tried t' make th' sharp turn t' hit th' stairs....well, I just about did. Too back they did not get it on film, I slip about two feet, caught th' rail which kept me from fall'n, then heaved away up them steps - woulda made a great action scene!

I Knew It! I Knew It I Did!! That Slimy Tentaclely Thing IS Seeking Me!!! ...Aye, this is a GREAT event indeed 'n for a really great cause as well! but....Bring Plenty O' TARTER SAUCE!!!!

Nay! Come t' Pirate Side, we have wenches 'n rum! (none o' that Frenchie stuff!)

Careful Now Bloody Sam! It be a trick! Every time I give th' "proper look", why some wench come up 'n Slaps me!! ....pretty sure I deserved that one

TWO fer $20?!!? Why that whore last night charged me $20 for just One!!! I BEEN ROBBED!! bloody pirate wenches!

What Th' Bloody 'Ell?!!? I just heard Episode three o' Bilge Munky Adventures 'n learned just what a wonderful frock coat from Top Notch Costume I really have!! But whot th' bloody 'ell mate, I rush'd t' me local Denny's 'n toss'd me Top Notch Costume's Inadvisability Jack Sparrow frock o'er me head, walk'd in and right up t' th' waitress wench, tweak'd her n*pple.....'N Th' Wench Splap'd Me!???! How did she know where I be? ....maybe these frocks only work on purple munkys?? So then I went t' me local pub down at th' dock t' drown me woes in rum...thought I would try it one more time so once again I threw me Top Notch Costume's Inadvisability Jack Sparrow frock o'er me head, hop'd over th' counter where this buxom bartender wench be 'n tweak'd her n*pple....'N Th' Wench Splap'd Me!???! After that I sail'd home t' take a cold shower 'n forget th' whole evening - There Be A Big Slimy Eight Tentacle Creature In Me Shower!??!! BILGE MUNKY!!!!!! ::Warning: The FDA has determined that Bilge Munky Radio should only be listened to while embibing large quantities of rum, whiskey, cider, grog, mead, or other equalizing spirit...or all th' above for that matter::

::'n now, just t' make sure they do naught shut us down with th' Faireness Doctrine:: ah, com'on boys 'n girls, can we not just toss out th' rum 'n th' whiskey 'n just get along? Everyone gather round now 'n join hands, we gonna sing them blues away!! Cum By Ah Cum By All Cum By Ah Cum By All ....oh lookie, unicorns 'n rainbows!!! ::'n now a word from th' other side...:: BITE ME!

Certainly NOT entrust it t' a filthy politician, 'specially one what used t' be stink'n lawyer!! Just look what happen'd t' Last Trillion!!!! .....*it, even drunk I knows better then that!

Well, for those still think' about these shoes from Loyalists; I have now put aprox 4 miles over rock and sandy canyon terrain (it be about 1.5 mile from th' nature center to th' bridge at Eaton Canyon), and today after getting back from an escapade t' secure me some bamboo for a needle case I can say with certainty that these shoes will hold up fine. As I said, I have now trekked a good 4 mile total through some rugged terrain, up mountain sides plus several evenings just around th' house and they have broken in very well, I didn't even get a blister today! However, I have come t' th' conclusion that there be NO WAY pirates wore shoes o' this caliber t' run into combat over rocky, especially Wet rocky terrain, these all leather shoes would even be havoc through wet jungle hillsides...they are just too slippery and too may a poor pirate would have fallen and broken leg and neck before reaching their goal. But with a sturdy walking stick and a sure foot they are fine for WALKING over such treacherous terrain - I am talking a very sandy and Very rocky canyon bed, also th' trek up th' dirt hillside was a bit ruff....if I was sneaking up on someone or running from someone, I would have left these shoes well behind Long Ago (or be laying dead with a broken neck). But, these shoes, other then for fight and flight, are FANTASTIC! Certainly a gentleman's night ashore on Tortuga for rum 'n wench! So here be some pics after 4 miles and several nights (even a little playing with the dog one raining day on the lawn): Still holding firm: Bottoms showing some were but none th' less still holding solid: A modern style OderEater insole and they still smell fresh as a daisy (th' white powder stuff inside be Thia stone foot powder): And a close up; despite all th' stumbling over rock and kicking through rough sand, only a little silt in th' seam. These dogs are proving a worthy advisory t' make age, haven't even been able t' scuff them yet!! I did put a coat o' me secret Pine Sap and Bee's Wax on them about a week ago, o'course as they are black there was no 'darkening' in color but I figure it be good for a protective measure see'n as how much they cost and what I went through t' get them

Well, as it has been rather warm o' late, high 70s t' low 80s, I suppose then that it will be not much at all?!!?