Jacky Tar

Silkie guesses closest; the tombstones are in the garage at present.

"Tom not t' split hairs, but is yer garage in the front of your house or back, or on the side of yer house?"

"Bein' a good pirate is all about style, isn't it?"

(Hard to be pirate of substance in cyber space.)

Ooooo!

(Another vowel; and the sound most men make when Merrydeath is done partyin' wit' em every day!)

1. I've parked my keyster in the back seat of an SR-71.

2. I once held the North American heavyweight wrest'lin belt.

3. At 10 pm on the 4th of July 1976, I sings the "Battle of New Orleans" whilst walkin' through Mildenhall village UK, on me way back to the base.

"Morgan, twistin' words. I've held superbowl rings, doesn't mean I played in the bowl game! So, ye may have held in yer hands the belt, or not. Sittin' in the back seat of an SR-71, it could happen. Congress men have done it; yer not a politician, are ye? 'Battle of New Orleans', hmmm... There's two versions of that song and one favors the Brits!"

"My guess, One is a lie, ye didn't sit in an SR-71. Two and Three are true; but, ye didn't win the belt and just curious, which version of the song did ye sing?"

Here we go then...in honor of it being nearly Halloween....

1.  I have a real skeleton in my closet.

2.  I have tombstones in my backyard.

3.  I encased my girlfriend in plaster, and now she is mine forever more.

"Long Tom, they're all true, except yer girlfriend is no longer encased in plaster; so, three would be a lie."

1. I have a an official Bacon Number of 3 (that's Three Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon).

2. I have personally met twelve different Nobel Prize winners.

3. There is a reasonably good chance that I will go to Stockholm for the Nobel Prize -- to accept the award.

You think you have this one figured out, don't you.    Guess.  Double-dog dare you to guess.

"Cap'n Pete, my guess, One is a lie. Two and Three are true, put ye'd be acceptin' the award fer someone else!"

[Jacky thinks he should reword that, as Herself goes for one of her many swords.

'Tis a wise man that knows how to make a timely exit.....

Jacky pokes his head back into Iron Bess's office, "Did I mention what a forgivin' idiot ye arrr? No, that's not quite right either!" Jacky beats a hasty retreat towards the back lot.

Well... be careful what you wish for.

I'm 37 years with the company and most days I'm convinced my parents raised an idiot,

"Com'on Iron Bess, ye know t' some of us ye work fer one of the best companies in the world! Even on a bad day yer one of the happiest idiots I've met!" Jacky thinks he should reword that, as Herself goes for one of her many swords.

Mmmmmmm! Shepards Pie! I've not ad any in such a long time! Perhaps tis time t'partake!

William, tis a new day. I'll ave d'Shepards Pie ifin dere be any remainin'.

Hmmm, ya do need t'hire some wait staff ere n'allow yeurself time t'socialize with the patrons more awfen.

Seeing Silkie is about to start another course, Jacky feels the need to excuse himself, "Silkie, luv. If I do not push me self away from this table, I will explode. The Shepards Pie is temptin', but no more."

Turns to William Red Wake, "Sir William, the menu, the wine list, and the company are all wonderful!" Jacky takes his bill and Silkie's and presents the payment to William. "I will be back, thank ye!"

To Silkie, "Enjoy the rest of yer repast. Thank ye, for your delightful company."

Jacky leaves the Tsunami Kate happy, inspired, and well fed.

Does it have t' do wit' writing?

Except maybe to add "I don't need a short-leash handler, I can be trusted."

Jacky muses, 'Ransom on a leash? Naw, that would never happen!'

"Aye, ye must get back t' yer ship, and mayhaps the Relentless will be sailin' with ye, if the opportunity arises." Inwardly, he knows the sea has been his only mistress, upon which he could rely; but, secretly he hopes he is wrong.

Jacky looked a bit embarrassed, and reliefed. The deversion allowed him to collect his thoughts. The noises and smells of the day, started to awaken his senses. The business at hand, was running a ship and directing her crew.

Jacky turned to Ransom, again, "Care t' take yer drink top side?" Spoons smiled and went about stowing things in the galley.

"Herself, is that a home office, or work office? Once kids get in there, how do ye get 'em out?"

Jacky looks at her mouth, with that smile that says come closer, if you dare. With casual grace, she brushes her hair from her cheek. Is this charm or guile, which is on display?

At that moment, Spoons drops a pot, and the spell is broken. Jacky turns, "Spoons!" Spoons shrugs and bends down to retrieve the pot.

Very nice, but you all got the bread box question wrong. Want to try again?

I suppose wot's in it, is smaller than a bread box, right?

Have ye seen Barbados Sam eat an Oreo?

Jacky I think any woman would be lining up to become the next Mrs. Jacky. I hope you find her.

"Captain Siren, don't start spread rumors, luv. There is a woman behind the man, and we have two little scurvy crew members. I was just sayin' wot this pirate liked in a woman! This is my second, and hopefully last marriage."

You mentioned undertaker as a separate occupation. I should think it was synonomous.

"No, William the man's day job is an undertaker; check out Kenneth's bio. Some of his other posts read like quotes from, 'Six feet under'."

To Kenneth, "Wit' respect t' yer day job, ye know yer goin' to take some ribbin' here. Again, welcome t' the pub mate!"

"He's a Danish captain, on a plundered Spanish ship, who doesn't play cards well, and may well be walkin' into an ambush at any minute. Aye, I'm worried fer 'em. Not t' mention he'll have t' square wit' his feelin's about Jane and Miss St. Claire." Jacky knows he'll have to come to terms with his own feelings.

No, no nooooo....it was a truly Aquarian reply

and no I'm not a prism wearing, tree huging, hippie type, (no offense to those who are) I just find the accuracy of some Astrology fascinating

"Sorry, lass I missed yer meanin'. I love t' look at the stars, and I use them fer navigation, but I don't connect em t' my natal day. Wot ever stars ye guide yer life by, I hope they are good ones fer ye."

... What more could a pyrat want? (that's an open question, aint it) :)

"That's easy one t' answer... More! Doesn't matter if it's food, drink or plunder, we want more."

"Welcome t' the pub Mister Longblades! Ye'll find many pirates near ye, and some of us a little farther away. But, the pub allows t' all get t' know ye, here. I'll have an ale Ray, on Mister Longblades. Thank ye!"

"Welcome Kenneth! Is there more t' yer name lad? Like Black Kenneth, or Crazy Kenneth? Or perhaps ye weren't lookin' fer the pub, but the yacht club!"

Over at the yacht club...

"I say, has anyone seen Kenneth?"

"In the land of blind men, the one eyed man is king."