CaptainBloodscalp

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T 10. Nuts...my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your threesome? 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it. 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired. 1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

Curse of The Black Pearl

Ar!Okay I understand now.Well then let me retract and say they are sweet lookin flintlock [replicas].You did a terific job there mate.Hats off to ye. I had no idea they had kits out there where one could put together something like that.

It's time for us to find a new fuel resource.I heard some nations use sugar for fuel.

crypts

tombs

scrolls

treasure maps

treasure hunt

It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one's dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent. [W. Somerset Maugham]

Yep it's a members only group.

Easter egg hunts

Well at any rate you both have some sweet pistols there.Nice work!

chocolate bunnies

{The Christmas Party} Eddie had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there. "Hi, my name's Lars, your neighbor from 40 miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night...Thought you might like to come. About 5 PM." "Great", says Eddie, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Got warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem" says Eddie. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again." "More'n likely be some wild sex, too." "Now that's really not a problem" says Eddie, warming up to it now. "What should I wear?" "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

Those are some fine looking flintlocks ye has thar matey.

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin -- in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay by next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint and taped it all together ... an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these." He immediately drops his pants and replies.. "Look at this, .. still in the CRATE"

Easter

Plain or peanut

Ultimate Redneck Test You score points for every statement below that applies to you. You will notice that some items have double points, because they count in more than one category. In other words, if you “have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education,” you get 10 points in the car category and another 10 under education for 20 total points. The Redneck Test for Cars and Trucks 1 Point: You've ever parked a vehicle in a tree. (2 points if it was a Camero) 1 Point: You have a rag for a gas cap. (2 points if you regularly drive the car) 1 Point: You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car. (2 points if it has been there for more than a month, 3 points if more than 3 months. Continue to add 1 point each month.) 2 Points: You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 2 Points: Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray. (Add one more for each additional color) 2 Points: The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones. 2 Points: When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank. (Double points: Car & Booze = 4 total) 5 Points: You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 5 Points: You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it in prison. (Double points: Car & Family = 10 total) 5 Points: You mow your lawn and find a car. (Add 5 points for each additional car you find.) 5 Points: There is more than one car up on blocks in the front yard. (Double points: Car & Home Decorating = 10 total per car) 10 Points: You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. (Double points: Car & Education = 20 total) Jeffroe Hatfield holds the high score for this section at 221 points. Jeffroe mowed his lawn last summer and discovered 4 trucks and 3 cars. (6 were actually in the grass. One was a Camero in a tree that he could not see because the grass was that high.) Four had hefty bags in the passenger windows and 6 had rags for gas caps. He poured gin in their gas tanks, but could only get one to start. He put wide rear tires on that one along with the license plate that his father made. He plans to haul hay bales in it. The rest he put up on blocks in the front yard and has partially painted with primer. Jeffroe Hatfield says, “Ya’ll forget that book learnin’ in an hour, but a good truck … now thar’s somethin’ a man can be proud of."

M&M's

The Milky Way

little dipper

North star

Sounds good ta me las!When do we set sail?And who needs gas?Just hop in the ol'ship and raise anchor.Hmm what would we call that ol island anyways LadyBarbossa?I hear ya though is can be very frustrating at times.