Mimi Foxmorton

Apparently a television series called "BONES" will have a Wednesday April 5th episode about pirate treasure. 8pm on FOX here in New York........ Have never seen the series but, will definitely check it out....... ~Foxmorton

Mister Cooke~ Working my way through "Pirate's of Pensicola"...... Aye...an' ye had me at......."Pirates, probably"........... Well done! Will search for the Whale next! ~Foxmorton

Ahoy! I be seein' yer grande & glorious review in Entertainment Weekly......! Wondrous well! Plan t' be checkin' it out soons I can! (As well as "Pirates of Pensicola"....be yourn as well, aye?) A proud pirate ye should be! Also....did ye see the bit about the "1500's spainsh ship" they be findin' burried in the sand in Pensicola....? Mayhap Pirates & Plunder......or, at least another book! Fair Winds.... ~Foxmorton

Aye....an' I had the occassion t' be given a bit o' plunder last evenin'.......me very own Johnny Depp PotC CEREAL! (me thanks, Mags!) I suppose it were only a matter o' time afore Mister Sparrow be grace-in' me mornin' table........ Truly a grande design..........check it out in the Kellog's section next time ye be shoppin' fer victuals! I be STILL laughin'! Fair Winds an' a hearty breakfast to ye! ~Foxmorton

Pee Wee's Big Adventure........?

Takin' one wary step closer to Bjarn,...Foxmorton turns and, says....."oh, that be not the clam chowder, Mags. It be six weeks by last Tuesday since I be seein' land.." Turning back to Bjarn....Foxmorton gives him the classic " Triple Eyebrow Raise"....

Foxmorton stops dead in her tracks.....a lone peg leg danglin' from her belt....hair hanging in one eye... "Aye.... but, that were not me skin......." she says to Bjarn.... but, a bit of clam chowder left o'er from lunch........"

Foxmorton suddenly throws a piratical temper tantrum out of life depleting boredom..... ....kicks the two back legs of Mag's chair out from under her..... ....grabs Capt'n Bismuth's appendages.... and, heads for the door...... but....not before distracting Bjarn with the classic "Tap On The Wrong Shoulder"........grabbing his grog....tripping over the dead japanese rock star...and, landing square on the cat wrapped 'round his ankles.... oops.....

Puddin'.........???

...tryin' t' maintain 'er composure.....Foxmorton stows the peg leg & two hooks under the table.....gazes at the door an' whispers...... "come back soon, Puddin'........) Turnin' t' Mags....Foxmorton asks......"Those were his EARS.....right.....?" Mags shrugs. "You buyin', Pricklebottom?" asks Foxmorton "Don't I always?" replies Mags.

...Aye Mags.... an' twere probably only that Rat Bastid Ian Terwilliger.......responsible fer the sitchy-ation o' me one, true love Jamie MacDougall...lost at sea......(sigh) (Though, I DID pick up some swell fashion tips from the Lady MacFarlane and Uncle Topaz.....)

....emerging from the privy.....Capt'n Bismuth, hair dripping wet and, with the odd piece of toilet paper dangling from his left earring.... gives an annoyed Foxmorton an inncocent look as he declares......"I TOLD ye that were me hook......."

Aye, Mags....but, remember....."ne'er let the truth get in th' way o' a good story......."

"Absent mind" Foxmorton thinks be the operative phrase here as she hoists Capt'n Bismuth o'er her shoulder....an' heads t' the privy.... Capt'n Bismuth makes a last ditch effort t' grab fer his sippy cup realizin' only too late that Foxmorton were a wee bit in 'er cups....as she cut the corner rather sharply.... dingin' Bismuth's forehead square upon the beam.....

...Foxmorton, hearing opportunity knock....pinches the new stranger's purse and, offers drink all 'round.....though leavin' Pirate Skywalker t' be figur'n out how best t' fill his own tankard.... She upends the new stranger's purse on the bar and, is surprised t' find.....six pebbles....a sea horse.....a couple o' tiddly winks and, a Puff's tissue o' questionable origin..... She shrugs t' Ray.... "But, I thought....." Says Ray....."That no be opportunity ye heard knockin', lass....that jus' be the new stranger's peg leg stuck in that there hole....." "Aye" Foxmorton concedes the point and, puts the round o' drinks on Pirate Skywalker's tab....

...too late, it comes to Foxmorton's note that her act of self defense has sent the Viking's wee small hammer corkscrewing through the Pub and, out the door...which, ordinarily would have been a right good thing had Capt'n Bismuth not chosen that exact moment to extricate himself from the bin....hook crawl to the door led by the smell of mango jello and free wet wipes.....and, coincidentially, hauling himself upright in the doorway just as the Viking's ineffective weapon spiraled through....having picked up top speed by dinging off the double-horned furry hat of an innocent patron trying to pay Ray with a thin strip of plastic covered in strange numbers. Foxmorton cringes at the "squelch" that follows as the wee hammer lodges firmly in Capt'n Bismuth's left eye socket. In a rare moment of compassion....Foxmorton rises....swaggers to the door.....and, hoping to distract Capt'n Bismuth with the Classic... Though Historically Inaccurate -Pirate Fake-Out Cry..."LOOK OVER THERE!".....yanks the hammer from his eye socket and, tosses it in the bin. "Ye'll be needin' a new eye patch, Mate" says Foxmorton as she plugs the offending hole with a free wet wipe and, a peanut shell left over from Happy Hour. Having had more'n enough excitement for one evenin' Foxmorton grabs Capt'n Bismuth a second before he blindly mistakes the innocent patron's headgear for a tuba....and, secures his right hook onto her belt.....thus giving Catt'n Bismuth easier transport to the jello and, lessening the chances of further incident. Stiff-legging it to the bar with the extra weight Foxmorton hauls Capt'n Bismuth into her lap....calls to Ray for a stiff rum...and a sippy cup of mango juice for her new friend.......

....Foxmorton deflects Mjolnir wit' a swift strike o' her cutlass an' reminds Thor wit' the tip o' her sword that a gentleman ne'er strikes a lady less he's a desire t' be carryin' his cannon balls back t' his ship in a fancy basket..... ....Before orderin' another drink....Foxmorton cuts and pastes the third renderin' offered by Bjarn.... for personal use.... just in case..... "Bloody long hairs...." Foxmorton thinks to 'erself......

...Foxmorton sighs..... "Aye, 'ere we goes another round wit' the "stereotypical pirate" blunder..." she thinks t' 'erself.... ....a waste o' good, fine locks o' hair on this grande, drinkin' day.... "Better luck next time..." she muses..... Downing 'er grog in a fast, steady gulp...... she belches loudly....... Crossing her arms....... she turns to face th' door...... ....and, waits........

....Foxmorton notes the flippin' o' the mass o' hair.......mentally tuckin' away th' image for private use...... calls t' Ray for a shot o' rum..... chuckles t' herself as the laddies debate Viking vs. pirate......all the while notin' what a grande spoken gentleman the newcomer is......... and, ...... waits.......

(Foxmorton tips back in 'er chair...crosses 'er boots tabletop...dips 'er hat low o'er her eyes.....an', wit' one eye, secretly contemplates the new lad's length o' hair. 'er bein' the sort t' become distracted by that kind o' thing..... ....the more hair...the more distraction-as it were.... ...an' waits t' see what will happen next....)

Ah, tis a pirate's life, indeed.... Ol' Mags Pricklebottom an' meself be what we call "The Glastonbury Thistles"....two ol' pirate's lovin' the nautical an' celtic life..... We have a crew o' ten on the Bloomin' Bloomer though all but one other be in the 'teen' category so we be preferin' t' keep our Pub life an' our ship life a bit seperate so's t' be able t' relax now an' again if ye be understandin' that. They be a good crew, though....hard worker's an' even harder learner's...and, proud I be o' them at festival time...make no mistake aboot that. Jus' sometimes....we feel th' need t' be....escapin' 'em fer a bit........ We be fans o' what ye might call "accidental learnin".....an' ply our trade aboot t' both children's educational theatre as well as adult piratical learnin's. (Aye...there be a market fer such a thin'...ye'd be surprised...I know WE were......) Parties an' such ye might call 'em as well as theatrical productions....street theatre....readin' o' the cards......an' what have ye. (We also be....ahem....Faeries on our off days......but, don't let that be gettin' 'round the Pub......as las' time we were in a coffee shop in our faerie garb after a gig we were mistakin' fer ladies o' the evenin'.....or, afternoon, as the case were....but, that be another story fallin' under the "One time when I was in garb....." category. 'Tis a grande way t' be makin' a livin' an' I gives thanks t' the Goddess o' the Sea every day fer allowin' me the pleasure o' makin' me livin' in a piratical way an' t' be salin' the Bloomin Bloomer int' many a port.....an' many a heart....... As fer bein' 'full o' it'....aye, that we be. Yet, it gives me great secret pleasure t' be walkin' aboot in me everyday clothin' an' be gettin' a hearty "Arrrr....." from a landlubber. There those that wants t' be....an' there's those that does...... 'Course...there's also those that gets really, really upset aboot it....(frown)....but, I've yet t' be figurin' those out so I jus' steers clear o' them. I figure that the madder ye gets at me bein' a pirate.....the more ye really wants t' be a pirate yerself.......plus...it be funny t' be eggin' 'em on sayin' 'arrr' an' 'avast' an' such....... 'Tis a little form o' entertainment I use t' get meself through a day.... But, then I thinks aboot how sad it mus' be t' not be havin' the proper guts t' be claimin' yer piratical nature.....well...an' I jus' taunts 'em again..... Jus' 'arrrr' little way o' keepin' piracy alive! Long sail the Bloomin' Bloomer! Fair Winds to all....an' a grog on me fer takin' time t' be readin' aboot our humble little lives...... ~Foxmorton

Aye, Mags.....an' as soon's we get a bit better at this here navigational device what refuses t' be takin' our imagery we'll be flying the Bloomin' Bloomer's colors right proud like! Now....ye said ye were buyin'? Mango cider, an' I'll thank thee t' be givin' it jus' a hint o' lime..... An', be careful wit' the researchin'.....it be quite like treasure.....the more ye be seein' the more ye gets burnin' t' get yer hands on...... Fair Winds this day..... ~Foxmorton

Aye....the Elusive Kilted Pirate......... Sigh........

Aye, well then, Silkie....twere not th' first time I be disappointed by a Pirate Legend.......... Ye've a sharp eye an' I apologize fer jumpin' the cannon... as it were...... Drinks from me purse..... Fair Winds.... ~Foxmorton

www.snopes.com/lost/sixpence Secret pirate code set int' a nursery rhyme.... Fancy that..... Ye be learnin' somethin' new every day..... Here's t' readin'...... Fair Winds..... ~Foxmorton