Bilgemunky

Personally, I'm more an enthusiast than a reinactor. And while I try to keep my own costume more or less authentic, and certainly wouldn't feel right with a "costume" sword at my side, a resource like this is perfect for dressing out my house for pirate parties. I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't hang swords from every wall if they're going to cost me $300-$600 a pop. But $19.99? THAT I can afford (and they'll look soooo much better than plastic ones from the local party supply shop.)

My own origin is shrouded in mystery - indeed, I'm often unsure where I've been meself (blame the rum, and one too many boots to the head.) I did, however, stumble upon a small snippet scribbled on a piece of fake antique parchment that read: "According to ancient mythology, mighty Zeus came down from the sky to spill his blood into the sea, thus giving birth to Aphrodite, goddess of love. Similarly, when a little piece of heaven found its way into the bowels of a ship (we won't say which one) and mixed itself with all the water, oil, muck, and other unpleasant substances, it was then that the Bilgemunky sprang forth. Of course, Bilgemunky has yet to inspire poems and wars with legend of his beauty, but give him time." So there ya have it, mates - true as oak and twice as splintered.

It's such a tragedy - I adore puzzle pirates, but I think it falls in the Mr. Miyagi school of thought: "You the Puzzle Pirates do, safe. You the Puzzle Pirates do not do, safe. You the Puzzle Pirates do 'guess so', sooner or later, SQUISH! Just like grape!" I can only afford the time to play once in a while - I went though batches where I could play most every night, then months where I could only play for an hour every couple of weeks. Puzzle Pirates doesn't work well that way - crews grow and move on, things change, I log on to find myself demoted and forgotten. It's very sad (don't you feel soooo bad for me? Well don't, cuz I'm drinking RUM.) I love the game, but I just can't keep up. But maybe I'll try and sneak on some tuesday.

I picked this up a while back, and was a bit underwhelmed. I never played the first Port Royale, but several folks have expressed they thought it was the superior of the two. I reviewed it a while ago on Bilgemunky.com - the review is as follows: ----------------------------------- I never played Port Royale 1, so I can't compare. But popular opinion has it that the first was actually the better of the two. Port Royale 2 is primarily a game of economy - managing your businesses, expanding your influence, and instructing your captains on trade routes. You can also do a fair share of privateering on behalf of the governors, possibly even winning one of their daughters' hand in marriage. Sound familiar? It should - a little bit Sid Meiers' Pirates! and a little bit Tropico 2, the game doesn't really live up to the standards of either. The graphics are decent, but I felt substandard. This I can easily forgive. What I can't easily forgive is the overall atmosphere of the game - in short, it has none. Many games have some sense of emersion - even if you're looking down on a pixilated pirate ship from third person view while punching a keyboard, somehow the combination of music, imagery, strategy, and overall feel gives you the impression you actually ARE commanding a mighty sea battle. Not so with Port Royale 2. I found initial sea battles to be very tricky, but after some practice it became tedious and mechanical - send in ship, beat enemy down with chain shot, send in second ship with grapes, board. Wash, rinse, repeat. Person-to-person encounters are equally dissatisfying. Sword combat is even more tedious than ship combat, and interactions with people in town are about as engaging as a Choose Your Own Adventure book. I'm sorry this game wasn't better. In an earlier time it would have been top-notch, but today it just seems substandard in most every respect. When I first got it I honestly enjoyed exploring its features and learning how to play, but after my first several hours it began to feel more like a process than a game, and merely served to whet my appetite to dig up Tropico 2: Pirates Cove again and give that another go. ----------------------------------- So there you have it. Take it for what it is - the mutterings of a purple monkey.

I'M UP FOR RUM!!!! RUM! RUM! YARRRRRRRROWZA!!!!!!!! Actually, I've already had quite a bit of rum tonight. Maybe a nice glass of water would be better.

Found an interesting article, and as German pirates aren't something we hear much about, this seemed doubly interesting. Germany Says Hello to its Most Famous Pirate

I hope ta experience PiP meself one day, but alas, it ain't in the cards this time around. Have a great time, ya luckies! (and toss back a few with the rest of us in yer thoughts)

I've been spending my extended turkey weekend kicking myself. I pre-ordered Pirates! (so's I could get the special edition that comes with extra goodies and such,) but like a dunderhead I had it delivered to my office rather than a local store. So while everyone else that preordered has had a pirate-filled weekend, I've had to make due with drinking rum, hosting a pirate themed murder mystery party, and watching the Spongebob movie. Maybe the game will arrive soon, and next weekend will be a little more interesting

My son introduced me to Spongebob a little over a year ago. Since then, he's largely out grown it. I, however, have not Looking forward to seeing him on the big screen, although I'll likely wait a week or so and let the initial kiddy excitement cool off a bit.

Let's be careful about lumbing Wicca and Satanism together - think of them what you will, but most educated authorities would agree that they are NOT the same thing. Wicca is now recognized by the military - but good luck communing with trees while deployed on a submarine in the Atlantic I'm not so certain about Satanism, but from what I've seen Satanism tends to be more of a self-centered philosophy than an actual religion, anyways. This as opposed to Devil-worshippers - these are the folks generally sacrificing goats (and worse.) I suspect Devil-worship is NOT formally recognized by the military, but that's just a hunch.

I remember a post a while back about Pirate Legos being in danger of going the way of the dodo. But looking at the Lego Official Site, they appear to be anything but. Not the same characters I remember - these look updated for a younger generation. Check it out! First, check out the video: Windows Media Quicktime And then learn more at the Lego Website

I don't know what the rest of ya lark are yappin' about, but of course yer garb can be complete! Why, it wasn't but a month ago that I was looking through the eastern wing of me home - the wing that I've specifically set aside for storing pirate garb. I was in the frock-coat room trying to decide between wool, velvet, or brocade - needed to look me best as the Mrs. and I were planning a trip to Sears. I decided on velvet, as it's getting cooler out, in a nice rusty redish-brown. I considered wearing the green, but that's really more of a Christmas or Spring color. Next, it was time to choose a hat. I had the cabin-boy and monkey butlers take turns parading them around for me until one of me favorite plumed numbers turned up, complete with gold edging and a genuine voodoo juju bag hidden in the brim. After spending an hour or so selecting the remainder of my costume (silk ruffle shirt, I decided, complimented by fallfront breeches and black french toe boots - I'd considered the cuban heel, but it just didn't feel right that day, so I went with the block.) And then it was off to the armory to select a sword... ... So you see? It's entirely possible to complete your pirate garb!

PotC is a good game - Monkey Island 1, 2, and 3 are great (4 is a write-off, I'm afraid.) I'm currently playing Port Royale 2, which is decent but doesn't really live up to the potential offered by today's technology - splotchy graphics, and lacks any sense of emersion. If you're into the whole "civic planning" type of videogames, I'd recommend Tropico 2 over Port Royale 2 - you have less control over your captains, but the game has more personality. Personally, if I could only own one pirate game, I'd wait until November and snag a copy of the new Sid Meier's Pirates. Probably the most anticipated pirate videogame of all time, and from what I've heard from Betatesters, it will be well worth the wait

Try checking out this thread.

I sympathize - I'm a men's 7, which is pretty borderline as far as availability goes. I can't even imagine the difficulties of finding men's styles in 5 1/2. Renboots isn't exactly cheap, but they do offer sizes as low as 5, and appear to be high quality. Champion Attitude can make any size you want, but they aren't cheap either. And customers I've spoken with have had mixed experiences with these guys, ranging from extreme satisfaction to extreme disappointment (you can read about my own experience with CABoots at Bilgemunky.com.) SCA Boots offers some more affordable boots, but the pair I looked at only goes as low as size 6. Still, that's only a half size off, so maybe it's in the ballpark for you. Good luck in your search!

Peh! Since when do pirates stand for formality? We held our party on Saturday, and did so with pride Next year TLAPD will be falling on a Monday, so methinks I'll be throwing the party on the prior Saturday again.

So what'd ya do fer the big day? My own pix are posted at www.heidgerken.org/gfx/pirate/ - hopefully more posted shortly. So I show'd ya mine - kin I see yers?

Indeed, silver would be nice. But have you ever tried melting the stuff on a kitchen stove? Give it a shot then let me know how it goes

Bilgemunky.com, in coordination with TalkLikeAPirate.com, is pleased as rum-punch to announce that the winner of the first ever Flying Dutchman Award for Outstanding Pirattitude is The American Pirate Association of Holland, Michigan! This is the first of what we hope will be many awards presented to private citizens that go above and beyond the call of piracy, fostering a sense of mutinous villainy coupled with warm-fuzzy feelings throughout their communites. The proud recipient of the Flying Dutchan will be presented with a hand-crafted pewter medallion featuring the Bilgemunky Jolly Roger, along with a special prize package compiled through the generous donations of many fine pirate businesses, including The Ben Gunn Society, No Quarter Given, Captain Jack's Pirate Hats, Scurvy Dogs Comics, and the Pirate Guys. To learn more about this award and its very worthy recipient, please visit www.bilgemunky.com/dutchman

If memory serves, Blind Rhoid is referring to his less-than-satisfying boots from Champion Attitude. Harbormaster has similar boots from the same company, and is very pleased. I decided to take a chance on them myself, and ended up somewhere in the middle - not quite thilled, but not entirely dissatisfied. My chief complaint is that the proportions were off, making the boots look more feminine than depicted in the picture. They also gave me the wrong toe and heel. After some negotiation I was able to get the heel replaced, which made a huge difference (the orignal heel they sent was too long and angular, and made the boots look less like a pirate and more like a stripper's thigh-high.) I'll be writing a full review on bilgemunky.com after I've had the chance to break them in a while, but I'd caution you that Champion Attitude doesn't have squat for a return policy. If you're looking to spend that kind of cash, I'd try RenBoots first. I don't know how their boots are, but they look good and they have a full refund available if you aren't happy.

I'd thought it lost long ago, but while visiting my folks last week in Georgia, I found my very first pirate cutlass, as good as the day I left it! My brother had a similar one, and you can see by this closeup of the blade that we had more that a scuffle or two: 'Course, the handle's a wee bit small for my hand now, and I have to hold my pinkie out like some sort of dainty, but them's the breaks!

I've always found it hard to find "basic" items that look right to me, especially when I'm wanting to avoid elastics and such. I found these guys a while back. Haven't ordered from them yet, but they're at the top of my list: Fair Play They don't offer a red shirt, but they are 100% cotton with full sleeves and no frills. As has been stated elsewhere - you can always dye!

My crew is the Crazed Mob, and we're under the flag Cold Steel.

The Keith Richards idea makes me nervous. Sure, it seems fitting and funny from the perspective that Depp used him as inspiration, but from a storyline perspective it just seems forced. Not once in a million years would I have said, "Y'know what would be great in the sequel? Seeing Jack Sparrow reunited with his father." But then, three years ago I'd never have suspected that a Disney movie starring Johnny Depp would resurrect the pirate genre, either, so we all know what MY opinion is worth

In light of this recent occurance, I feel the need to respond. I'll be posting this at bilgemunky.com later today: -------------------------------------------- On open Letter to Johnny Depp written on behalf of all guys. Dear Mr. Depp, First, we'd like to congratulate you on a lifetime of exceptional cinematic achievements. Second, we'd like to humbly request you please COOL YOUR JETS ALREADY!!! Look, you did the whole 21 Jump Street thing with the cool 80's hair, and women swooned. You did the Edward Scissorhands thing, and our girlfriends and wives asked us, "why can't you cut MY hair like that?" Then you came along with Captain Jack Sparrow, and we had to learn to wear eyeliner and sway like drunken swabs in a vain effort to keep up. And now, now you've gone a bought a FREAKIN' TROPICAL ISLAND!?!? With six white sand beaches, palm trees, and a lagoon??? For the love of Pete, what the hell are the rest of us supposed to do to impress chicks? It's like you're flying to the moon and back, and we're supposed to somehow keep up with pogo sticks. Oh, the humanity! If you have any compassion at all, any concern for your fellow man, then you'll stop raising this bar ever higher. Just STOP already. And while you're at it, if you could find a way to look a little less attractive (develop a hunchback or something) that would also be greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Every Guy on Earth that isn't Johnny Depp editor's note: Although I wrote this spiteful letter on behalf of all mankind, I'd like to point out that I don't believe a word of it. Johnny - I grovel before thee and hope to be invited to visit your island very soon. -Bilgemunky -------------------------------------------- Unfortunately I seem to have misplaced Johnny's address, so I'll just hope he stumbles across this online. If any of you bump into him while at the 7-11, be sure and give him a copy, OK?