Pulls dirk, scratches in door....
'Stepped outside, when 'wot the 'eck?'
Seagull pooped all o'er the deck.
Loaded a deck gun ,aimed at the pilin',
seagull's hollerin', an' kinda smilin'!
Put a 3 inch screw in some meat inna cup,
Now 'e's a' floatin', both feet up!
(Tuff poopin' them screws, eh?)
*punctuates by stickin' feather in t.p. roll*