Aye Captain McCool, in NYC the only establishments that ain't chock full to the overhead are Mexican and Thai ones.
No, you're not looking for too much from the holiday. Dissapointed are ye... perhaps ye'r barking up the wrong mast. Perhaps check out events held by local Irish cultural groups rather than those held in the local watering-holes.
Our Saint Patrick's Days have always been a family tradition to go to the parade and have dinner and listen to Irish music. It's good to be in company of you fellow countryman... by the with green beer breath are best avoided.
The intent is to honor the patron saint of Ireland and your national pride, not a drunken festival.
Jas. Hook