Sjöröveren

For anyone else trying to find the firearms on this site, they are under the category "Denix"

Join me one and all in raisin' a glass to the finest pirate lass who e'er sailed the Land o' 10,000 Lakes! She be celebratin her 45th today. Drinks are on me mates! Whate'er ye want, I be pourin all day!

Are ye sure that aren't a regular keg and a leprechaun? He might of gone to Germany fer some time off after St. Paddy's Day.

The coat's a beaut, but it be the hat that I covets!

Being an old fart, I have no idea what any of those other things are, but DANG! them ships is cool!

In the words of George Costanza: If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet..."

I'm not a good judge o smells, ever since me smeller got its own mind. Me faulty stinker has forced me dear missus Red Bess to lock up her rose-scented candle (smells like very bad beer to me) and change her shampoo (smells like cast iron pots instead of oranges.) But me dear pyrate lass still smells like springtime to me! Gunpowder only brings out the nuances already there!

Hope number 73 were the best of em all, and that 74 will put this year's ta shame!

I hate to contradict the eternal wisdom of Monty Python, but in this case, I think the most important question may indeed be: "Do you have your own hat?" If she does, she's in. If she doesn't, she's in, she'll just need to get a hat. And lots of other cool stuff. Because when yer a pirate, it's all about the swag.

I dunno if ye dunnit, but I thinks Delima be a very nice name fer a lady.

Alright EndK, where'd ye find that ship? And can I have it? It were me birthday awhile back, and ye didn't send me anything!

Better late than never, eh laddie? Happy birthday, mate!

Sorry I missed it, but I relies on me missus for remindings and such, and she were a bit remiss in that department. I raise a tankard to ye, late tho it may be. May ye have many more happy days havein fun with things that go vrrrooooooom!

Don't forget us Circus Fat lads! We needs fineries too!

Awwwwww! That be so cute!

Looks like this title is in print, available from Amazon for $22.75, or in a package deal with Rough Medicine by Joann Druett for $50.75. I'm reading Rough Medicine right now. Very interesting, though it's specifically about surgeons on whalers in the early 19th century. Great appendices, with an exhaustive pharmacopia used by two surgeons, one late 17th and one mid-19th century.

Alright, mates, we've got only a few hours to go before THE DAY arrives, so we've got to start some logisical planning. We need someone to commandeer a chocolate factory. (a good one. Think Belgium, not Pennsylvania.) We'll need at least 50,000 gallons of high quality spirits, and a good 10,000 of soft-drinks for the non-imbibers. Then there's the food. I'm thinking something easy, like a few thousand pounds of buffalo wings, a trawler or two of shrimp, last year's entire crop of baby carrots and all the ranch dip ever created. We'll need slop buckets, some of that pink sawdust that the custodians throw on puke puddles at school, miles of paper towels, a truckload of assorted bandages and a tanker of mecurichrome. Better throw in several cases of various latex accessories (for the prevention of disease only!) I know I'm leaving something out. Let me know if I left anything out. We don't want to run out of stuff! Let's get busy! Beat to quarters!

oops. Ignore this.

I actually look more alert here than I usually do. And my head is usually bleeding, though not from a wound inflicted by an edged weapon. Maybe I was just pickin at it again. If you keep pickin it, it'll never heal!!

Sjöröveren: I say, you there, boy! What day is it? Boy: What, today sir? Why it's the first of March! Sjöröveren: Oh, joy! I haven't missed it! Still five days left! I say, boy! Do you know the chocolatiers 'round the corner with the life-size statue of Johnny Depp made of Godiva chocolate? Boy:What, the one big as me, sir? Sjöröveren: A brilliant boy! A capital boy! Yes, yes lad, that's the one! Bring it back to me and I'll give you a shilling! Bring it to me in less than five minutes and I'll give you half a crown! Boy: Bollocks! I'd DELETED BY THE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES fer half a crown, guvnor! Sjöröveren: No need for ribaldry, lad. Now go get the chocolate before I change my mind and get a gift certificate online!

As a fellow fat bearded guy with glasses and a penchant for shorts and no shoes, and who last combed his hair when Democrats Ruled the Earth, I hope the Peter Jackson look catches on. Unfortunately for us, Capt. Jack is just a bit more handsome, by a few orders of magnitude. Hey Johnny! Go eat a few dozen Krispie Kremes so Peter and I can look good!

Me home port be the steamy sub-tropical Minneapolis, Minnesota

An old mate o mine used to tell of a Capt. Flint. A great man, strong as an ox and a prodigious consumer of libations. It was said that Capt. Flint could suck a cork out of a bottle of rum. He knew he'd found his soulmate when he met a woman who could push the cork in with her tongue. Whether ye be the same Capt. Flint, I know not. But I wish ye health and happiness all yer days. :)

Happy birthday, Capt. Cat. Are ye the same Capt. Cat I seen down at the Unwashed Sailor's Arms in Llareggub, knockin back ale with Nogood Boyo and Bessie Bighead? Many happry returns, Captain! And now I'm off after the corgi with my little cleaver...

Whether I picks me navel or me pocket, all I gets is lint, which aren't a fit present for such a fine lass as MerryD. I'd best be warpin up to me missus, so's I can find some bauble or bottle fer ye. Until then, kick off yer shoes, if ye got any, and shake yer fool thang!