Sjöröveren

My dearest Red Bess is too honest to actually post her picture here, so I'll do the deed for her. In my heart she is a redhead. She was born a redhead trapped in a ash-blonde's body. It just took a while for her inner redhead to manifest itself. Now let's not split hairs here, folks. It ain't cheatin if she was meant to be red and her follicles didn't cooperate.

I think this is the heart of his complaint: If the lawsuit doesn't work, maybe he should try streaking the Oscars. That would be just about as effective in getting Johnny Depp's attention, i.e. not at all!

Yeah, sounds like a lot of fun! Could be just the thing to get the Midwesterners together!

More categories than merchandise right now, but the categories look promising. She's got a good eye for stuff!

Well known round these parts lass, and highly recommended!

I saw a show on the History Channel a year ago or so about the Plague. They made some link between ergot poisoning and Plague immunity if I remember correctly. Could be that there were 2 shows and now I'm combining them in my mind. Anyone else recall seeing this show/shows?

I think you could make a few bucks in the Twin Cities area too. St. Paul is especially proud of their riverfront, Minneapolis is playing catch-up. We had the Tall Stacks excursion last summer, with a dozen or so steamboats spending most of July 4th week in St. Paul. Harriet Island is a City of St. Paul park, and has a marina that may be large enough for you -- that's where the steamboats tied up last summer. There's probably more sponsorship possibilties in St. Paul too -- Park & Rec Dept., MN History Center, MN Science Museum, MN Children's Museum. St. Paul is basically desperate to get anyone to come there instead of Minneapolis or the Mall of America. I think a pirate ship could be a big draw. Worth looking into. And Red Bess and I would be happy to show you around, if you needed a tour guide. Too bad you can't find a way to get onto Lake Superior. They don't get tall ships to visit there too often. And it's properly big water.

Heaps t'yer hearth, Hawkman. Pappy Darthday! (I gotta slow down, I canna drink like I usta!)

We got a sayin round these parts up north: "40 below...keeps the riff-raff out" OK, so it's not much of a saying. Gimme a break, my brains froze!

I'm in for the Minnesota chapter, and I'm sure Red Bess is game too. We're up for whatever ye got, so long as we don't have to leave the house until it gets warm.

Me dear Bess is indeed smarter, sexier and more creative than she's ever been, and she started out as smart, sexy and creative! And she ain't lost her marbles, but she does misplace them more often lately. Meself, I be 47, with the mind of a sleepy twelve year old, and the body of a 800-year old rhino. At least it feels like that today. I been workin nights....

F is for a fair French fillie, friggin' in the fo'c'stle! G is next, but let's face it, F is the best!

Well, Red Bess n Meself an our brace o cabin boys did indeed see the Twins keelhaul the Orioles 5-1. Sorry t'all them Balto fans out there, but the wind be favourable here in MN this year. Maybe take us all the way t'the Series, we're 'opin! There were a fair number o' folks who seen us in our tricorns an' eyepatches an' such, who yelled out "Talk Like a Pirate!" an' th' like. Then there be those who thought we musta got lost on our way t' Pittsburgh. Don't know if we made it onto th' broadcast, but we made our point. And instead o' cheerin' durin' th' wave, we shouted "Yarrrrrr!" It were a great way t' spend a Sunday afternoon.

Cripes! That were a close one, Zorq! Glad that it didn't take anything more than a bit o' skin. I had a very close call with black powder years ago that stills gives me the shivers when I think about it. I was demonstrating at an historic site here in MN, talking about Voyageurs and the Fur Trade and such. There were several hundred school kids touring that day, so I had someone helpinng me. This guy had never really handled period firearms before, so I was trying to keep my powder horn and stuff with me. Well, I turned my back for a minute, this guy grabs my powder, my possibles bag and my Queen Anne flintlock pistol. What got my attention was an ear-splitting boom. Mr. Pyrotechnic had filled my pistol with the measure for my Brown Bess. So instead of about 5 grains of powder, he had put in about 70 or 80. Easily enough to puncture a moose. Then he had given the pistol to a 9 year old girl to shoot. Fortunately, nothing happened but the boom. The girl got lucky and hadn't pointed the thing at anyone, and she thought it was cool, so her parents didn't sue us. I tore Mr. Pyro a new bore, and took my powder to my car and locked it up. Then I made sure I would never work with this bozo again. Moral of the story: Don't turn your back, don't make assumptions.

Oh, yeah... Didn't think o that! That makes sense, seeing as James Madison was well-known for his frequent benders. He once challenged Martin Van Buren to a "belly-bounce battle," but lost, since Van Buren had a good 100 pounds on old Jemmy. Madison also wrote 30 extra amendments to the Bill of Rights, including the Freedom to Fart Like a Sailor Whenever I Want. They didn't make the final cut.

My one complaint: Why did they hire that actor to play James Madison? The real Pres. Madison weighed about 100 lbs and wasn't much taller than 5 feet. He had very delicate, almose feminine features. This actor was close to 6 feet, well over 200 lbs and had a heavy 5 o'clock shadow. Almost entirely unlike the real Madison. Made about as much sense as having Pee Wee Herman play Ben Franklin. Must have been the producer's nephew or something. Other than that, I loved the show.

Red Bess and I will be at the Minnesota Ren Fest on Saturday, along with our young'uns. We'll face towards KC and raise a glass for the lot of ye!

I got Blackadder ITC for free from Font Freak. It may well have been there improperly, but the webmaster seems to do a pretty good job of only putting up legit files.

Here's some pre-1800 maps of the Caribbean at The Library of Congress.

To anyone who has been convinced by this post that Lake Superior is Heaven on Earth: Yes, it is, but it's Heaven Froze Over. Last night, it was 22 degrees in Embarass, MN, not too far from Duluth. That's 22 degrees Fahrenheit, not Celsius. Tonight, there's frost warnings for as far south as the Twin Cities! It's August! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!! What am I doing here!?!?!

Here's his latest: Pirates Of The Caribbean Plush Dog With Keys! No doubt this was the same Plush Dog with Keys that was in the thrilling whale harpooning shot during the battle at the end of POTC, where Jack, Will, Jackie Chan and Spiderman conquered an army of robots. Comes with Certificate of Gullibility!

Oh great! Now ye went and told the whole world about the San Francisco of the North! Now they'll all be down in Canal Park, throwing popcorn to the gulls! Seriously folks, Duluth is a wonderful town. A bit of everything, if ye look hard enough. It's got it's slightly shabby side on the west, it's high-priced mansions along the lakefront, and big big water. It's just a 3-hour drive from our home in Minneapolis. Every once in awhile, Red Bess and I need our seafaring fix, and it's nice to be able to see actual ocean-going vessels right in the middle of the continent. And the drive up the North Shore, to Thunder Bay, Ontario is quite breathtaking. Lots and lots of pine trees. We're headed up there next week with our boys, camping at Gooseberry Falls State Park, which is a rite of passage for every Minnesotan. As for your "accent" anyone who doesn't sound like they're right out of the movie "Fargo" sounds funny to us. Or, in native Minnesotan dialect: "Dat's differnt." Any other Minnesota/Wisconsin/Iowa pirates out there?

I saw the same guy selling "authentic prop treasure chests from POTC" that were identical in every way to the one that I had just bought at Target. His starting price was $50, I paid $20 for mine. He is obviously just buying stuff and selling them as genuine. Take a look at those lamps that claim to be from the Dauntless! You can get them at any gift shop! What a load of crap! Of course, part of being a pirate is ripping off stupid people, so the people buying this crap don't get my sympathy! But if the seller happens to lurking around these parts, all I got to say is Watch yer purse, bucko! There be real pirates about!

I think that it may have been Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics. Never cared for their music a whole lot, but, in the immortal words of Steve Martin "She had the jugs!"

My apologies fer wandrin in late, I were, ummm..... busy elsewheres. Nice thing about the Pub, the barrel never runs dry. So I lifts me tankard to ye and wish ye a Happy Birthday, Bess! Ye be a fountain o delight!