captweaver65 Posted July 30, 2003 Author Posted July 30, 2003 Miss Molly's a lady quite blunt For handsome young pirates she'd hunt, In quite boisterous shows, So now everyone knows , She caught one and he's licking her c***. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
Captain Rob Carroll Posted July 30, 2003 Posted July 30, 2003 My belly is hurting! Mad, That be some Guinness you speak of! LOL!
Jolie Rouge Posted July 30, 2003 Posted July 30, 2003 Careful wit' dem lymericks, that could be a whole nother topic, it could. A pirate met a wee little gypsy who could get a bit more than tipsy He cried ta this day She's still a good lay An' if I pinch just right she whips me
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted July 30, 2003 Posted July 30, 2003 Ahhhahahahahahahahahha!!!! Let's hear it for randy whippin' gypsies! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
captweaver65 Posted July 31, 2003 Author Posted July 31, 2003 A pirate walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, "he's beautiful! Where did you get him?" The parrot replied, "Port Royal." Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted August 1, 2003 Author Posted August 1, 2003 Bulls Balls One day, an American was touring Spain. After his day's sightseeing, he stopped at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls balls from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The American, though momentarily daunted when he learned the origin of the dish said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry, senor. There is only one serving a day since there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to serve you this delicacy!" The next morning, the American returned, placed his order and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, He called to the waiter and said, "These are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter promptly replied, "Si, senor! Sometimes the bull wins!" Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
Jenny G. Posted August 1, 2003 Posted August 1, 2003 Loved the jokes! I'm new here, and am trying to navigate my way around. Any recommendations?
captweaver65 Posted August 2, 2003 Author Posted August 2, 2003 Loved the jokes! I'm new here, and am trying to navigate my way around. Any recommendations? ahoy there Jenny G., just keep lookin around. there are more pages to some of the main areas than what is on the front page. and don't be offended if no one responds to somethin you said,cause many people will read and respond silently,cause some people are shy. :) Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted August 2, 2003 Author Posted August 2, 2003 no offence to ye wenches out there. I'm a wench meself on occasion. Q: What's the difference between a catfish and an pirate wench? A: One has whiskers and smells bad, and the other is a fish. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
super_intelligent_shade_of_azure Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 Q: What's the difference between a catfish and an pirate wench? A: One has whiskers and smells bad, and the other is a fish. ::Snicker:: I should slap you for that, but I don't think my arm can reach.
captweaver65 Posted August 4, 2003 Author Posted August 4, 2003 ::Snicker:: I should slap you for that, but I don't think my arm can reach. hehe I couldn't resist. Azure, I would suggest that you not slap me,unless you want 200 lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin your ass to the ground. as I like a little rough and tumble foreplay,tickling would be much more effective as a deterent. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 And, baby, that's no joke... "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
super_intelligent_shade_of_azure Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Azure,I would suggest that you not slap me,unless you want 200 lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin your ass to the ground. as I like a little rough and tumble foreplay,tickling would be much more effective as a deterent. Ha ha ha! First, how do you know you could wrestle my ass to the ground? I bite, and kick, and scream, and grew up with 6 older brothers, all of whom I could and can wrestle their asses to the floor. I also too waaaay too many years of various martial arts, and managed to beat my entire class ( most of them older than me ) in grappling, which is a lot like wrestling. Second, how do you know I wouldn't want 200lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin ( wras'lin? ) my ass to the ground? Third, if you /like/ it, then it's not a very good deterent, is it? The only way you get tickles are if I'm mysteriously painted my nails with poison and 'accidently' break the skin. Luff ya too. Hawke
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Kinky... kinky... kinky... What do you call a large group of pirates? An ARRRRRRRmy! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 RRRRRRRRR!! Dang wenches! Startin't ta sprout that third mast again!!
Grayse MacRoth Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 ~looks down~ no third mast here matey.... but i got a couple cannon balls fighting gravity! arrrrrr~
the Royaliste Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Yep. Soon ye'll be buyin' yer bras like men's pants; 36 longs.....
Pirate Lass Suliel Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 *snerk* and that is all i have to say on the matter. . .except that maybe i'll think up a good pirate joke one of these days. . .
Stynky Tudor Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Arr, I take back what I said earlier about renaming this forum after Captain Weaver. It should be called the Naughty Pirate Chick Forum… And all us males can just come by to watch.
Capt. Flint Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Wait a minute. Get back to the two lasses wrestlin around. Feel free to jump in with your gravity impared cannon balls Grayse. Puts a whole new meanin on the term ....broadside.. ehhh........ The Capt.
captweaver65 Posted August 5, 2003 Author Posted August 5, 2003  Ha ha ha! First, how do you know you could wrestle my ass to the ground? I bite, and kick, and scream, and grew up with 6 older brothers, all of whom I could and can wrestle their asses to the floor. I also too waaaay too many years of various martial arts, and managed to beat my entire class ( most of them older than me ) in grappling, which is a lot like wrestling.  Second, how do you know I wouldn't want 200lbs of super horny pirate wrestlin ( wras'lin? ) my ass to the ground?  Third, if you /like/ it, then it's not a very good deterent, is it? The only way you get tickles are if I'm mysteriously painted my nails with poison and 'accidently' break the skin.   Luff ya too.                 Hawke well..Azure, you sound like LOTS of fun!!! all except the poison fingernails I am sure we would have a grand wrestle ifn ever we were to meet,as I too have had my share of martial arts over the years. :) I hate being tickled. so.....do you like to wrestle in mud? Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Can I come too??? "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 :) Me too, we'll put a video cam in one 'o the cannons, and have the BEST pyrate movie!
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