Single Mens;s Club

[Animal]

Salty, indeed you make valid points with your post. When I originated it, I was hoping a few of the ladies who peek in here (yes we peek in the Man Haters Club :angry: ) and shed some light onto this issue. If we don't get you ladies input, the mysteries of women will elude is forever I think all we ask is for an even playing field sometimes and some basic guidelines. After all "We're just men" aren't we??? :angry:

Animal

[Black Syren]

Personally I REFUSE to wear heels and short skirts. I never have wore them and never will and not just because of the scars from my accident. One they are uncomfortable and two I cannot walk in them. I don't like dresses and Im way more comfortable in jeans and a baggy T-Shirt. Do I wear red lipstick..no not as much because it calls to much attention to my plump lips. And yes they are plump. I should not have to dress to get a mans attention, either he likes my personality or he doesn't. If he likes the rest of me as well then that is even better for me. Im not saying I do not like for men to notice and compliment when it's done in the right way, but to out and out stare or make lewd gestures or look at me as if Im a piece of meat he'd like to eat then no Im not flattered and I am indeed insulted. My two cents.

Animal all I ask for is that if you speak to me speak to me, eye contact to eye contact and not look at my chest and ask the twins if they would like to go out with you. I think that goes for any woman, we have feelings and thoughts the same as you guys. The gent that comes into my work keeps asking me out, I have turned him down, he knows I am married and happily so and still persists in his foolishness even after I have told him No quite firmly. He still comes in, he has forcefully taken my hand from my side and kissed it, he refuses to let another wait on him. At this point it is just pure harrassment. Im outgoing, Im friendly and I love people, it's who I am and who I will always be, but that does not mean Im "Asking for it."

[MadL]

Animal! Do Naught Never Peek Int' Th' "Mysteries Of Women"!!! Ye will go mad man, totally MAD!

Ye only need remember one thing t' stay alive; when she complains that ye be stare'n just tell her "Well THEY started it!"

....but Patrick Hand, that be some useful information 'bout th' lipstick, now whenever we be unsure o' her intention we know we just need t' rub off th' lipstick 'n see what color her lips really be!

But meself, I never learn'd t' disrespect a woman, having grown up with a father and two younger bothers, we were always taught t' never mistreat a woman; suppose if there had been a 'sister' in th' brood then th' learn'n may have been different, but as it was we were always taught "Girls are put together with Elmers Glue and Scotch tape where boys are put t'gether with Super Glue and nails"....maybe that is why I always played th' role of a Doctor with th' girls next door, I want'd t' make sure they were kept in good health, being th' sickly wee things they be

But I must admit this all give them a wretched upper hand on a guy; during karate lessons I was once matched against a girl, I tried t' tell sense that I just can not hit a girl, it be against every morel bone in me body and all through school I would get in fights with guys who disrespected the girls, but he told me that I "had to do it" said I would be helping her t' learn t' defend herself....but I still could not let loose on her.....but she had NO PROBLEM letting loose on me - a woman's bony fist can Hurt!!!

But as long as this be th' "Singe Men's Club"; ye know what still freaks me out? All them bottle 'n tubes they keep in th' bathroom - WHAT IS ALL THAT STUFF?!!?? I am always afraid t' peek inside for I might open one o' them jars and find a 'face' stare'n back at me!!

I once sat for over an hour watching as one o' me girl friends put all this stuff on her face, she pulled hairs from her brows, marked with pencils on her eyeballs, used a most painful looking device on her lashes, and th' whole while had her eyes glued t' a tiny mirror as it performing a delicate surgery - I could take it no longer, I asked her "Why are you doing all this?" then she replied "I want to look good for you".... I thought for a moment then told her "But ye looked terrific already when I first rolled over and opened me peepers this morning..."

Edited January 25, 2009 by MadL

[Black Syren]

MadL you are a sweetheart and you make me laugh. All that stuff in the bathroom lol...I do wear my war paint..however Im also not afraid to get dirty. I can change my own tire, sparkplugs, clock an alternator, turn rotors and drums and change my own oil. My first date with my hubby was changing the breaks on his car!

[sutlerjon]

Animal! Do Naught Never Peek Int' Th' "Mysteries Of Women"!!! Ye will go mad man, totally MAD!

Ye only need remember one thing t' stay alive; when she complains that ye be stare'n just tell her "Well THEY started it!"

....but Patrick Hand, that be some useful information 'bout th' lipstick, now whenever we be unsure o' her intention we know we just need t' rub off th' lipstick 'n see what color her lips really be!

But meself, I never learn'd t' disrespect a woman, having grown up with a father and two younger bothers, we were always taught t' never mistreat a woman; suppose if there had been a 'sister' in th' brood then th' learn'n may have been different, but as it was we were always taught "Girls are put together with Elmers Glue and Scotch tape where boys are put t'gether with Super Glue and nails"....maybe that is why I always played th' role of a Doctor with th' girls next door, I want'd t' make sure they were kept in good health, being th' sickly wee things they be

But I must admit this all give them a wretched upper hand on a guy; during karate lessons I was once matched against a girl, I tried t' tell sense that I just can not hit a girl, it be against every morel bone in me body and all through school I would get in fights with guys who disrespected the girls, but he told me that I "had to do it" said I would be helping her t' learn t' defend herself....but I still could not let loose on her.....but she had NO PROBLEM letting loose on me - a woman's bony fist can Hurt!!!

But as long as this be th' "Singe Men's Club"; ye know what still freaks me out? All them bottle 'n tubes they keep in th' bathroom - WHAT IS ALL THAT STUFF?!!?? I am always afraid t' peek inside for I might open one o' them jars and find a 'face' stare'n back at me!!

I once sat for over an hour watching as one o' me girl friends put all this stuff on her face, she pulled hairs from her brows, marked with pencils on her eyeballs, used a most painful looking device on her lashes, and th' whole while had her eyes glued t' a tiny mirror as it performing a delicate surgery - I could take it no longer, I asked her "Why are you doing all this?" then she replied "I want to look good for you".... I thought for a moment then told her "But ye looked terrific already when I first rolled over and opened me peepers this morning..."

BULLS ............... AYE!!!!

[MadL]

Well I still say that th' good Lord mad a horrible mistake when he gave women breasts; like if they aint gonna use them then why give'em t' 'em??

Why if th' Lord had given them breasts t' us men they would get used EVERY FREAK'N DAY they would, we would make sure they were well used up when we finally return them, we would even have a 'trade in system' in place for ones we wear out ahead o' time. Why we would be Proud o' them breasts too, big 'uns, small 'uns, 'n inbetween 'uns as well, we would not cover them up with bras 'n three layers o' shirts 'n sweaters, Nay, we would wear them proud we would, we bounce them 'n jiggle them every were we go; downtown, th' beach, th' supermarket, th' ball game, th' local pubs, why ye would see us men just lining up at th' local school t' pick up our young'uns just so we can could parade them around and argue o'er who's was better! There would be no complain'n neither, if we were t' catch a woman not look'n then we would just give a simple reminder that "they be Down there!" 'n if that did not get th' message across then we would simply pull her face-down fer a loving reminder hug we would! Aye, it would give a much boost t' th' Ren and Pirate Faire attendance too it would, them ale stands would need shock absorbers t' handle th' shaking whenever a lass drops a tip in th' jar!

Aye, th' Lord must'a been drunk on rum when he made choice o' got th' breasts 'n who did not....

[Rumba Rue]

somehow the thought of a man breast feeding a kid is more than I'd like to wonder about.....

[Black Syren]

aww Rumba..Now that metal image is stuck!

[MadL]

Ah, but just think what healthy teeth 'n proper dental hygiene they would grow up with, why they would have all th' natural dental floss a teeth'n child could ever need!

[Animal]

**Animal shakes his head** MadL, now I know why they call you Mad??? Syren, I too have that image in me head.....PLEASE, make it go away!!!!!!!!!! BTW THANKS Rumba, I may be more scarred than I was before in life

Animal

[Black Syren]

I cannot make it go away..*Shivers in horror* Perhaps we need to go pillagin and plunderin! That should help us lose that image!

[Graydog]

Lads,

I must bring to your attention that in the men’s club we do not use this as a forum to advocate makeup or men breast feeding. Just isn’t proper. Why what would the men over in Dorsetshire say? Let's get back into the swing of things doncha ya know.

Right, how about something more spot on for the club like discussion of a tiger safari in Kenya?

Reggie Stuffedshirt, III, Dcm, Abwy, Esq

Colonel, Royal Horse Marine Regiment

[Animal]

Where the hell be Dorsetshire?? Twas MadL dat started this here mess. An come to tink on it, why would I care dem fancy pants there tink????

[Graydog]

Quite obliged to render aid:

Dorset is a county in the south of England. It has no motorways and lots of beautiful places. Dorsetshire is the old name for the county, as the map, a 1650 copy of John Speed's work by Dutchman Jan Jansson, shows. It formed part of 'The Old West Saxons' which became known as Wessex. In Dorset one finds places like Ryme Intrinseca, Peaceful Lane, Knacker's Hole and Dirty Gate.

It is the gentry home of many a scallywag. Simply the creme de la crème of the unlaw abiding as it were. I am not sure as to their personal attire of choice, but their thought process be speaks of most vile and despicable intent, simply put they provide a wonderful example for us to emulate.

I have just been informed that the famous Captain Spaulding, The African explorer, was a Dorsetshire man. I am sure he if anybody has particpated in the great Kenya Tiger Hunt. It's held during the doldrums when the rain is hot. This makes the tigers, they are a big cat you know, most upset and they all come out and howl at the sun. This is the perfect time to shoot them. Why on safari once I do belive Captain Spaulding was surprised by an animal at night and he shot it in his pajamas.

Cherrieo,

Reggie Stuffedshirt, III, Dcm, Abwy, Esq

Colonel, Royal Horse Marine Regiment

Edited January 26, 2009 by Graydog

[MadL]

Oh com'on now! 'n just How did th' animal get int' Captain Spaulding's pajamas??

Animal, do ye naught have yer Own pajamas fer t' sleep in?

[Graydog]

Oh com'on now! 'n just How did th' animal get int' Captain Spaulding's pajamas??

When questioned on this very subject Captain Spaulding responded, "How it got in my pajamas I'll never know."

Well played MadL!

Cherrieo,

Reggie Stuffedshirt, III, Dcm, Abwy, Esq

Colonel, Royal Horse Marine Regiment

Edited January 26, 2009 by Graydog

[RustyNell]

Well I still say that th' good Lord mad a horrible mistake when he gave women breasts; like if they aint gonna use them then why give'em t' 'em??

Why if th' Lord had given them breasts t' us men they would get used EVERY FREAK'N DAY they would, we would make sure they were well used up when we finally return them, we would even have a 'trade in system' in place for ones we wear out ahead o' time. Why we would be Proud o' them breasts too, big 'uns, small 'uns, 'n inbetween 'uns as well, we would not cover them up with bras 'n three layers o' shirts 'n sweaters, Nay, we would wear them proud we would, we bounce them 'n jiggle them every were we go; downtown, th' beach, th' supermarket, th' ball game, th' local pubs, why ye would see us men just lining up at th' local school t' pick up our young'uns just so we can could parade them around and argue o'er who's was better! There would be no complain'n neither, if we were t' catch a woman not look'n then we would just give a simple reminder that "they be Down there!" 'n if that did not get th' message across then we would simply pull her face-down fer a loving reminder hug we would! Aye, it would give a much boost t' th' Ren and Pirate Faire attendance too it would, them ale stands would need shock absorbers t' handle th' shaking whenever a lass drops a tip in th' jar!

Aye, th' Lord must'a been drunk on rum when he made choice o' got th' breasts 'n who did not....

Who say's we don't use em?? Girls that grew them young like myself... well... it didn't take long to figure out how to hone their hypnotic powers to laser precision.... too bad the same doesn't work for you boys... although a tight pair of jeans and a nice tooshie... can certainly grab a gals attention... hey Chrispy caught me that way...he still has the jeans and can fill them out too... and well my sweaters are a little tighter than they used to be but he's not complaining....Hey you know what they say flaunt it if ya got it...as LONG as ya got it... and after ya don't ... just hope someone loves ya enough to still think you still do...ohhh LOVE IS BLIND!! Thank GOD!

[MadL]

HIT TH' DECK BOYS!!

Rusty Nell, Don't Be Point'n Them Laser Cannons This Direction Now! One o' them might go off!!

....hmmm, so now at th' range we must make sure All female pirates have their laser cannons properly clear'd 'n stow'd before leave'n th' fire'n line.... perhaps we should require them all Peace Tied at th' gate as well.

"OFFICIAL PEACE TIE CHECKER"

[Animal]

Oh com'on now! 'n just How did th' animal get int' Captain Spaulding's pajamas??

Animal, do ye naught have yer Own pajamas fer t' sleep in?

Twern't me, I sleeps nekkid Don' owm me no such fofraw. I was brought in to this world nekkid and I'll go out the same way, says I.

Alright ladies, here is your chance to take yer shots. Make em good as yer'll not get a nuther chance.

Animal

[RustyNell]

:ratta tat tit:

[Animal]

"OFFICIAL PEACE TIE CHECKER"

I'll ne yer back up, MadL. Just incase some try ter slip by

Animal

[Patrick Hand]

Hunting tigers in Africa is all well and good....

But for real sport, you should try Dinosaur hunting in the Jungles of Brazil...

[MadL]

"OFFICIAL PEACE TIE CHECKER"

I'll ne yer back up, MadL. Just incase some try ter slip by

Animal

Nay! We be talk'n safety now that Rusty Nell let us know 'bout them lasers - ALL SLIPS WILL BE REMOVED! We want them things tied in TIGHT! We certainly do naught want one o' 'em slipping out and tak'n out someone's eye ball!

[Graydog]

Hunting tigers in Africa is all well and good....

But for real sport, you should try Dinosaur hunting in the Jungles of Brazil...

By Jove man yer right!

I do believe we had a couple of club members involved in a dinosaur hunt on a lost plateau in Brazil a few years ago. As I recall it was a Dr. Quest, his boy Johnny, Race Bannon, and their faithful Indian companion Tonto.

Haven’t heard from them in some time I wonder how they got on doncha know.

Cherrieo,

Reggie Stuffedshirt, III, Dcm, Abwy, Esq

Colonel, Royal Horse Marine Regiment

[Patrick Hand]

Quite....

The Lost Valley in the Brazilian Amazon is aptly named....

Aah... here's Baxter with more brandy...