BLACK JACK SHALAQ

Ol' Black Jack want's ta be nice (fer once) n' wish everyone involved wit dis here board a wonderful turkey day. When all of you are gathered around the Captn's table for yer feast, please give a lil' prayer o' thanks to our men n' women over seas. Pray fer their saftey n' good hunting!

Gnry Sgt. Black Jack Shalaq

Heavenly father,

Thank you for this day n' this feast. Thank you for allowin' me to live n' serve this wonderful country. Please continue to look after our sons n' daughters saftey in the scum infested middle east. Bless our soldiers deadly aim n' HIGH kill ratio. In other words lord, allow our troops to kill our enemies by the truck loads.

In your name n' honor, amen

I GET YELLED AT ALOT FOR USING CAPS ALL THE TIME , BUT I REALLY WANT YOU TO HEAR ME THIS TIME.

I WENT TO MY DOCTOR YESTERDAY FOR MY FLU. THE DOCTOR INFORMED ME THAT THERE IS A NEW STRAIN OF FLU VIRUS IN THE USA THAT IS A RESPIRTORY FLU AND I GOT IT. FOLKS, I'M TELLING YOU TRUE THAT THIS IS NASTY SHIT AND I HAD A FLU SHOT! HERE'S THE REAL KICKER FOLKS. MY DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT THE FLU SHOTS THAT WERE GIVEN OUT THIS YEAR WILL NOT STOP THIS STRAIN! SO IN CLOSING PEOPLE...BE EXTRA CAREFUL THIS YEAR! THE FLU SEASON HAS JUST STARTED AND IT'LL BE AN EVEN LONGER WINTER FOR YOU IF YOU CONTRACT THIS CRAP! GOOD LUCK MATES!

BLACK JACK

PS. WASH YER HANDS REAL GOOD AFTER READIN' DA PRIVY WALL!

Thar once twas' n old whore from Kings Bluff.

Who said that she had quite enough.

Of blokes who are 30,40,50 n'60.

What wants tis' dat greezy kid stuff!

har har har

Hey wait a minute...I'm 40.......ish !!

Black Jack

El Pirata ol' bud,

"Echoe Springs" is by far NOT a pleasure! Believe me!

Black Jack

Royaliste me fine lad,

Please whip me up a batch .....pronto!..........Please!

"Echoe Springs" is good varnish remover too....

Ol' Black Jack watched from the dock.

As his Man-o-war twas' careened to the starboard n' blocked.

He stood thar silent wit nutin' ta do but puke n' wheez wit da blasted flu.

He coughed n' hacked a nasty green hock.

Blazes n' damnation Black Jack's got the ROT!..........again.

Black Jack

El Pirata Ol' Mate,

Tis' obvious that you also tried to stretch an enlisted mans meger pay just one more week. Hairy Buffalo it is then.

Black Jack

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

THEY LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF

PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY

WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO

IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,

A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,

NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,

JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES

OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,

AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT

CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,

IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,

ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,

SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR

IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,

THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,

NOT HOW I PICTURED

A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO

OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,

THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES

THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS

WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,

THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE

A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM

EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,

LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER

HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE

IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT

BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY KNEES

AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED

AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

"SANTA DON'T CRY,

THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,

I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD,

MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER

AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,

I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,

SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED

FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE

ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR

SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,

IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,

AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT,"

-HOORAH

I figure me cyber mates understand my dilema.

Black Jack

Okay,Okay ,Okay....If I pinched, bit, spanked or fondled anyone last nite. I suppose I owe ya's an apology. And if by some chance any of ya's enjoyed it....Yer welcome. Once again Captain Morgan marooned me wit nuttin but a headache n' a queezy stomach.....what a guy!

Shhhhhhhh. Me heads a bit sore taday.

Black Jack

Captain Weaver,

Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ol' Black Jack's pasted out in his hammock.

He had a 1/2 bottle of Captn' Morgan in the fridge for two weeks now. They were starin' each other down for a while now. I guess Black Jack blinked n' the Captn' won. He's being on vacation his week and next week so he's been in rare form lately.....Geeeezzzzz. Real rare form.

First mate "Shanghai Sooz"

Ol' Black Jacks out ta sea with Captn' Morgan again....So you guys know what that means....Just consider the source n' he'll apologize tomorrow. Okay?

His first mate,

Shanghai Sooz

Oh Yeah!

Ol' Black Jack never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed.

So at birth Neptune blessed him with the proper tool for bed.

He also learned ta plunder n' also learned ta sail.

And some whar along da way, he learned ta love his ale.

He got hooked up with Captn. Weaver in the southern Med.

Now they're both at the end of a rope , hangin' til' they're dead.

:) :)

Hooded n' tied twas' Captn' Weaver n' I

    Noosed at our necks atop a gallow so high.

    The justice raised a ruckuss,

    that we'd go to hell in a bucket.

      Da Captn' yelled, "An we're enjoyin' da ride"!

thinkin

hmmm...what do I do with a pirate who knows me only weakness?

gotta either love im or kill im

made my choice

:)

Kill me lovingly.......please!

Black Jack

Hooded n' tied twas' Captn' Weaver n' I

Noosed at our necks atop a gallow so high.

The justice raised a ruckuss,

that we'd go to hell in a bucket.

Da Captn' yelled, "An we're enjoyin' da ride"!

You know the dred pirate Black Jack

Who claims to have a furry back.

Well I took the big lug

Used his back for a rug

And gave his bare ass a good smack.

Ahhh...I see me lassie is back in da saddle again! (or should I say...Stirrups)! Yer ready ta get rowdy again?

:) Black Jack

>>>>Etched on cannon ball that crashed thru privy wall<<<<<<<<

Thar once was a Gunner named Dannon.

Who liked rammin' his rod in his cannon

>>> Yer gonna have ta wait fer the next salvo ta hear the rest<<<<

El Pirata,

A hardy "WELCOME HOME" mate!! Hopes all went well (including keepin' yer 5yr. old occupied fer the long trip). Ya missed some crazy stuff on this here board (check out the "privy wall"),so catch up n' start postin'!

Yer mate in crime n' plunder,

Black Jack,

Me First Mate n' I just got back from da theater and we gotta tell ya's that "Master n' Commander is an awsome flick. Them Limies really put da hurtin' to dim Frenchies! BLAM! BLAM! BANG! POW! CRASH! BAM! WHAM!

I thinks ya gets da idea...

Black Jack

Tis' the birthday of "Mad Maudlin McCrumb".

But she's still young enough ta have fun.

She has the knack ta please "Ol' Black Jack".

And too bring Captn' Weaver to cum!

Happy Birthday Puddin'!!!!

Ol' Black Jack Shalaq

Thar once twas' a blue whale named Dewy.

Who could cum 400 gallons of spewie.

And giving him head,

was mermaid in bed.

But when he came her head went Ka-blewie!

>>>>>>Scrimshawed on da toilet tank<<<<<<<<<<<<

Best I kin do sober....sorry folks

Black Jack

Aye lassie,

I posted some pics of me colors on "pirate tattoo's somewhar on this board.

Black Jack

Black Jack twas' n' old salt.

Who loved his ale n' his malt.

Though he loved da ladies too.

And would ball as his nad's turned blue.

The lassies didn't want him to halt!

>>>>>wrote on da privy mirror in pink lip stick<<<<<<

:) Black Jack