Captain Bob

I've already posted these pics in "Chests. Treasure and Otherwise" in Captain Twill. It's roughly an 8" cube and its made of pine 1×2s and 1×6s. After discovering I can't cut wood to save my life, I enlisted my neighbor's help (he's an experienced cabinetmaker) to make the body and the lid. I finished the wood bits and added the hardware. In exchange, I'm drawing up plans so he can make a blanket chest for his wife. The "iron bands" are painted wood and the brasswork is too modern. The next one's gonna have iron metalwork and other antique hardware bits. --Cap'n Bob

Thanks, all! This clears up a lot of my confusion. Now I just have to store all this new information in my tiny, walnut-sized brain. Until then, I think I'll just bookmark this thread so I can refer back to it. Once again, thanks large! --Cap'n Bob

As a pirate, I find myself to be somewhat underqualified. My sole sailing experience was in the summer of 1980. I was attending Tech School at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, Mississippi. One of my fellow students owned an 18-foot fiberglass sailboat. In the afternoons and on weekends, weather permitting, we would sail the back bay and he taught me and several others the basics of sailing. This was all good fun, but a year later, a friend introduced me to the Horatio Hornblower series of books. Reading these novels, I learned there were such things as mainmasts, foremasts, mizzenmasts, sprits, and possibly many more bits of lumber from which one might spread sail. The boat I learned to sail didn't have a mainmast, just the only mast. There were no stuns'ls, topgallants, etc., but just a lowly mainsail and jib. My request is this: Explain what the different masts and sails were, and where were they typically located. I'm sure they didn't hang all the canvas out at all times, so just how did they coordinate all that "laundry" and when was it used? Thanks in advance for what I'm sure will be an interesting discussion. -- Cap'n Bob P.S.: If anyone thinks of a related question I should'a asked, go ahead and answer it anyway.

Credit where it is due. My neighbor, being more experienced than I at cabinetry, is responsible for the construction of the box and lid and for cutting the "iron bands" (he works as an installer for Home Depot) I designed the box, finished the wood bits and attached the hardware. If it looks good it's because I didn't cut any of the wood. If I had, it would have looked something like Charlie Brown's kite after the kite-eating tree got through with it. The next one (when I get around to it) will be larger and have more iron (and less brass). --Captain Bob

Here's some pics of me tresure chest (small as it is). Well? Wadaya think? --Cap'n Bob

Whups! I forgot to give dimensions. (It's on its way to my sister's so I can't weigh it.) disregarding the hardware and "iron straps", it's about 8" wide by 7" deep by 7½" tall, so it's nearly a cube. Next time I make one I'd like to use antique hardware. This time around I just bought modern decorative brass hinges, a draw latch/hasp, and two brass drawer pulls for the side handles. The body of the box is made from pine 1×6's (bottom and sides) and pine 1×2's (everything else). I'm guessing it weighs about 5-10 pounds, but I'm not calibrated so I could be off by a considerable amount. --Cap'n Bob

Measure twice Cut once. Examine part you just cut. Scratch head and mutter: "Wutthehell happened?" As a carpenter, let's just say I need practice. Fortunately, my next door neighbor is an experienced woodworker and I was able to enlist his help. I told him what the parts should look like and what their dimensions should be. He did the ever-so-critical measuring and cutting. We assembled the wooden bits and then he handed the project over to me for completion. I stained the box and finished it with satin-finish spar urethane. I then attached the hinges, draw latch, and handles. For "iron bands", I used ¾" wood trim, painted with Rustoleum Hammered Metal finish, and attached with glue and decorative brass furniture nails. Tomorrow, My mom will take it to my sister so she can photograph it and email me the pics. I'll post the pics ASAP. --Cap'n Bob P.S.: In return for my neighbor's assistance in making this treasure box, I'm going to help him design and build a blanket chest for his wife.

Well, I've got it apart again. I sanded off the old crep-brown paint. I then rasped and sanded it into a more pleasing shape. The right-angle edges of the fore-end and the oddly-pointed butt didn't look quite right to me. I've stained it a dark brown, which really brought out the wood grain. I don't understand why anyone would take a wood object and hide the beautiful grain under an opaque "wood brown" finish. When the stain's dry I'll give it a coupla coats of satin-finish spar urethane. When I reassemble it I'll try to get some digipics and post the result. --Cap'n Bob

You most certainly am not! Motion seconded. All in favor say "aye!"

Well wadayaknow! I went back to the PMC website and did a little scouting and it turns out they DO use paper caps just like I was talkin' about. --Cap'n Bob

These are made of wood and metal. Alas, the wood is painted brown. Perhaps I'll disassemble mine, strip the wood, stain and refinish it. I've already had it apart once to paint the barrels & end caps with "hammered metal" paint. They're made by the Parris Manufacturing Co. The PMC website mentions some kind of caps for these guys but I dunno where to find 'em. I suppose I could just stick a paper cap to the anvil with a dab of rubber cement. --Cap'n Bob

I decided to postpone buying a replica pistol until Denix starts making them again. Everybody seems to be out of stock except Ebay, so prices are only gonna climb until some of the backlog orders can be met. Besides my WebTV has problems working with Ebay (very slow loading, amongst other quibbles) and I don't know which vendors I can trust. In the meantime, I did find a temporary substitute at Paul Bunyan's, even though it's not quite historically accurate. I ordered their Double-Barrelled Cap Pistol. This one is pretty big (about 12" from butt to muzzle), and kind of interesting from a mechanical standpoint. You have to cock the left hammer before the right hammer will set. There's one trigger, and pulling it releases the right hammer, then the left hammer. Both hammers will go in quick succession if you pull the trigger back in one motion, but it's easy to fire them singly if you prefer. Too bad they don't still make the stick-on caps Mattel used to make in the 60's. They'd be perfect for this thing. Here's a big pic of my new toy! They also sell a Blunderbuss Pistol and various other toy implements of violence that might (or might not) be appropriate gifts for any pirate offspring you may happen to have. My pistol came in the mail less than a week after I ordered it. Also included, at no extra charge, was a coupon good for $5 off at one of their restaurants. This might prove of some slight interest to you, if you happen to be planning a trip out thataways. --Cap'n Bob

I thought I was full of myself, but it was just gas.

Just last month, I bought this knife from Sword Demon. It looked like other knives I've seen advertised as "18th century folders", and cost me very little. The blade is different from the picture, though. There is no false edge on the back of the blade. Rather, the back of the blade mirrirs the edge, but is unsharpened. If anything, the blade resembles that of a robust produce knife. I am curious, though. Is this knife GAOP appropriate? Although my kit is more theatrical than anything else, I would like to be able to point out how it differs from "the real McCoy", should anyone ask. When were folding knives introduced, and when did they become relatively common? Would a real pirate have been likely to own one? --Cap'n Bob

Banister = baluster. (Silly me! I used too many 'n's the first time.)

The debate over Boots VS Shoes has me confused. Did Skull pyrate Carter ever decide on a pair? Was he browbeaten into (straight-lasted) shoes? Will he post pics when he gets 'em (whatever 'em turns out to be)? Or has he been driven off by the whole hijacking thing? Pirate Petee: A tall tankard of ale will suit me fine. --Captain Bob

I do not think that word means what you think it means. Perhaps the word you want is "bannister". --Cap'n Bob

Compared to the alternative, getting older is sweet! --Cap'n Bob _________________ I'm not older than dirt, but I remember when it was still under warranty.

I am preparing for my next pirate-related project. Using only hand tools, I'd like to build a seaman's chest and, for lack of a better term, a "treasure chest" (wooden strong box). I have a few questions, but would like to solicit as much information as possible. My kit thus far is more theatrical than historical, but I would like to at least pass the ten-foot-rule with these two boxes. About how big was a seaman's chest? About how big should I make a "treasure chest". I'm simply not equipped to work in wought iron. Any suggestions on how to simulate iron bands on the treasure chest? Can anyone provide links to photos of the genuine article? Thanks in advance. Yr Obt Svt, Captain Bob

I recall reading an article in a science magazine where they debunked the notion that drinking diuretics (caffeine, alcohol, etc.) would mummify you unless you drank plenty of water besides. If I recall correctly, the article pointed out that: Most caffeine-laden and alcohol-laced beverges do contain quite a bit of water, Many foods we consume produce some water as a digestive byproduct, and Otherwise healthy people become acclimated to diuretic beverages over time, and their bodies adjust to compensate. Thus, unless your seamen have been abstaining for some time, their bodies very likely have already adjusted to compensate for both physical exertion and sub-optimal beverage. On the plus side, adding rum to water would very likely kill microbes that could cause even more dehydation. Ever hear of amoebic dysentery? --Cap'n Bob

Actually, if you're bearing arms (in an official military capacity), the hat stays on. ISTR reading somewhere that the custom of doffing one's hat indoors and as a polite greeting originated during the late 17th or early 18th century, and had something to do with the wigs in fashion at the time. --Cap'n Bob

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...." "Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door." He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway." He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign: GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.

YEP! Ah! Thanks! I knew there were such places, but didn't know what to look for. Hot Topic it is, then. Cool! I can swing that much swag. Actually I haven't been having problems with infections. I just didn't wanna take any chances. --Cap'n Bob

I've read the Captain Twill thread on pirate earrings. Most real pirates probably didn't wear them during the GAOP because they just weren't fashionable at the time. I never purchased earrings before last summer. The only place that I know of that has inexpensive ones (<$10/pr.) is the local Longs Drugstore. I've looked at Wally-world and Target and their stuff is way too feminine for me. Where does a manly man go to buy masculine, (cinematic) piratey-looking earrings? Should I be shopping at tattoo parlors or what? --Cap'n Bob

Last summer I had my left earlobe pierced so I could wear a piratey-looking earring with my costume. I'm looking for something inexpensive that won't corrode or turn my ear green, and it's gotta be hypoallergenic. The last one I bought at Longs started to turn green and the gold (colored) plating began to wear off. I don't want to spend a bundle. That way, if I lose it, it's "Shoot! Now I gotta get another one.", not "Where IS the damn thing? It cost a WAD o' money!"