Captain Bob

IANAE* From what I've read on the subject, modern pistols are accurate out to 10-15 yards in real firefight conditions, i.e.: somebody's shooting back at you. Adrenaline tends to throw your aim off. Plus most human beings (apart from sociopaths) are naturally reluctant to kill other humans under most circumstances. That's why modern police and military units afford their members as much practice as they can provide. Training offsets some of the natural decline in accuracy that results from putting your life in danger. If a pirate had plenty of practice with his weapon he would be fairly accurate within the limits of that weapon, especially if he was a sociopath with no qualms about killing. I would guess that most (or at least many) of the pistols available to pirates were smooth-bored. Smooth-bored weapons are inherently less accurate than rifled weapons. All of my experience with black powder pistols was gained with reproduction Colt's revolvers. These were rifled, and although they consistently shot low, I could reliably put a ball onto a torso-sized target at ten yards. Beyond 15 yards, I had to aim high to even reach the target's range. To hit a man-sized target at 100 yards I would have had to aim as if I were firing a mortar. (35 grains of powder behind a .45 caliber ball can do only so much.) Beyond about 50 yards, you'd have to rely more upon divine providence than skill. Mind, if I was shooting at a tightly-packed mass of people on a nearby ship, all I'd really need to do was drop a shot among the crowd and hope it hit someone. Smoothbore pistols might have less inherent accuracy than rifled pistols, but they are significantly more effective than thrown rocks and are far more intimidating, especially if you convince your opponent that you are a psychopath. ~~Cap'n Bob * I Am Not An Expert

Hmmm... Deadlights are cool! So. About the lanterns -- was oil used in the GAOP or were candles all they had? What did the lanterns look like? ~~Cap'n Bob

Macs aren't any more resistant to viruses than PCs, it's just that there are so few of 'em that nobody writes viruses to attack them. Now that Macs are using Intel-based hardware, I expect to see that change. I got the "FORUM ATTANTION ( From Pyracy Pub - the Pirate Forum )" email today. I use a WebTV, which can't run executable files (only one of its many limitations). Actually, this is the first time I've been glad I use WebTV. I've no doubt trying to hack one o' these babies is about as easy as crushing a marshmallow on an anvil with a ball-peen hammer. Like the Mac, however, there's little satisfaction to be gained from inconveniencing the (approximately) 17 people who actually have one. ~~Cap'n Bob

Wasn't Port Royal British territory? If so, your priest or vicar would likely be Anglican, not Catholic. Anglican clergy can marry if they want to, and an up-and-coming young vicar might be considered a quite advantageous match in some circles Perhaps his wife left him for a Royal Navy officer (or a Spanish nobleman or some other convenient villain), thus precipitating both his crisis in faith and providing him motivation to go on the acount, seeking revenge. Of course, if he was Catholic, perhaps the critical event could be that his lovely younger sister was abducted, ravished, and abandoned by one of the above villains. Keep us posted on what you decide, k? ~~Cap'n Bob

In our modern world today, we can have light whenever we want, in just about any amount we want, and we don't have to set fire to anything to get it. Just throw a switch, push a button, turn a knob and the ceiling lamp, flashlight, or portable lantern is ready to help us keep from crashing into, tripping over, or falling off of our environment. What were one's options with regard to lighting in the 17th and 18th centuries (apart, of course, from doing without)? What did the lamps use, oil? What did they look like? Were torches just sticks with one end afire or was there more to it than that? Did the guys in the magazine work in the dark or was there some sort of safety lantern used? Zippo™ and Bic™ were centuries away. How did they light things when they didn't have a handy fire? What did those tools look like? I'll just sit here and listen, k? ~~Cap'n Bob

Yeah, but wouldn't ya know it? The dumb S.O.B. is already yammering away on his cell and you'll just have to leave a message -- which he won't get around to checking until sometime late tomorrow afternoon. I wonder if his caller ID will say "It's the apoplectic guy in the car behind you"? Hey, electronic devices are getting smarter all the time. I'm just sayin'. _________________ "My mind wanders, but don't worry. It's weak and can't get very far." --Steve Allen

The last time I wore my pyrate garb in public I kept saying "Howdy!" (Mmmmmm... must've been all those years I spent in eastern New Mexico?) ARRRR!! woul'dve been an inprovement. ~~Cap'n Bob

Despite having been born in California, I am descended from a long line of southerners. For those of you who are not steeped in southern tradition, allow me to explain. To a traditional southerner, pig meat is the staff of life, a food group unto itself, the nectar of the gods, the ne plus ultra of comestibles. It is a reason to go on living, the essence of life itself. I myself am quite fond of most forms of pork. If deprived for any length of time, I would not hesitate to bite a live pig in the butt, just to get a taste of ham. ~~Cap'n Bob _________________ "Pork don't have a future. Bacon is not a career!" --Gallagher

Captain Jack Russel: I haven't any riveting tools (nor rivets), but that got me thinking... Callenish Gunner: ...I wove some black leather shoe lace around and between the loops to tighten them. I also wet the lace in hot water prior to weaving, so the knot which holds it in place won't come undone. The lace will tighten itself slightly as it dries. Works great, my scabbard is secure, and I've already got some ideas how to make my own. Works fer me! Thanks, all! ~~Captain Bob ________________ "My mind wanders, but don't worry. It's weak and can't get very far." ~~Steve Allen

The UPS man came yesterday and brought me a coupla things I ordered from Amazon.com, a rapier and a frog. The rapier is very fine-looking but the frog is something of a disappointment. The description for the frog says it has "rivets and snaps", which implies adjustability. There are no snaps, however, and when the rapier's scabbard is placed in the frog (as demonstrated in the picture), it's a very loose slip-fit that simply is not secure. Is there something I'm missing here (a user's manual, perhaps)? Suggestions as to how to successfully mate the frog and scabbard will be quite welcome. ~~Captain Bob

If yer would eat more fibre, that wouldn't be sech a problem.

For the convenience of folks who haven't seen it, I am including a link to the dental hygiene thread here.

At first, I thought this was just a mutation of an email warning about how the phone companies were going to charge extra for phone lines used for digital information. That one's been circling the web (in one form or another) since 1987. However, upon checking with the Urban Legends Reference Pages, I found this article. Well, whuddaya know? They're at it again. While I agree with moveon.org's intent, most lawmakers ignore email petitions. It's too easy for spammers to "manufacture" constituents in an attempt to influence pending legislation. A more effective tactic is to buy paper, stamps & envelopes and write to your congressman and both your senators. Legislators pay much more attention to snail mail from constituents. It takes almost no effort to send an email, but if you're willing to expend time and money to send a letter, you must be really 'het up about something'. A few letters about the same topic gets their attention, and a lot of letters about the same topic lets them know their job is in jeopardy if they get it wrong. ~~Captain Bob

One old show I liked, I never heard about until 10 years after it ran and didn't see it until 18 years after it had been cancelled. I refer to the Indiana Jones-esque Tales of the Gold Monkey. I saw several episodes on TVLand back in 2000 and I still haen't seen all the episodes (it only ran for one season). A few weeks after I was hooked, I tuned in only to find that it had been replaed by something else. I think I only saw about 5-6 episodes. I wonder if it's available on DVD? ~~Cap'n Bob

Since I retired from the service I've been growing my hair long. I'm hoping to get it long enough to tie back, and that got me to thinking about hair care and hygiene in the Golden Age of Pyracy. How did seamen (and lubbers) groom themselves? Was washing or soap ever involved or was cleanliness viewed with deep suspicion? Did they use shampoo or in any way attempt to discourage tiny livestock from homesteading their bodies? had dental care advanced beyond toothpicks and (eventually) pliers? Tell me what you know. I'll just sit here and listen. :) ~~Cap'n Bob

Move over mates! I brought a bottle o' brandy and a barrel o' cracklins. [Polishes his spectacles.] ...So when does the show start?

Patrick Hand: I used to have that problem, too. Then I discovered a simple solution. Clean all that hairy food out of the fidge and pack the resulting space with as much beer as will fit. Bottles almost never get hairy. Who needs all that pesky nutrition when you have beer, anyway? ~~Cap'n Bob

I finally got a pic of me pistols in their final form. The top pistol in the image below started out as a toy civil war pistol that I bought from Arrow Gift Shop. Much as I did with the double-barreled pistol below it, I removed the metal bits, reshaped and refinished the stock, repositioned the barrel band, and then put it all back together. Not bad work for an amateur, what?

Maybe b'cause she was ne'r lost! Guss what my name is in the real world ...and how I spell it! Oh, for... Well, if you'd show up for rehearsals once in a while this sort of thing wouldn't have happened!

Update: Last night I had a strange dream indeed. I had been flown to a tropical island to help search for seven stranded castaways. I've had Gilligan's Island dreams for years, but usually I'm the eightth stranded castaway. Everything was in technicolor, and the "Tropic Isle" looked a lot like the unpopulated parts of Guam or Diego Garcia. White sand beaches, reefs, palm trees growing right down to the high tide mark, and heavy undergrowth away from the beach. Later in the dream, we had rescued everyone except Mary Anne, my favorite castaway! Some SIB (Self-Important Bureaucrat) came up to me and told me we'd found enough castaways and it was time to leave. I got very angry with him, and told him off, all the while striding towards him while he was backing off. I got my way, but I woke up before we found Mary Anne. Bummer.

I almost always dream in technicolor. Occasionally, my dreams are apocalyptic. One dream I had, only one time, was years ago. In the dream, I was sitting in my apartment listening to the stormy weather outside. At the time, I lived in Clovis, NM. Violent thunderstorms are a freuent occurrence there in the summer. We had been having a lot of storms that had gone on into Texas and wreaked havoc. In the dream, I went and opened the door to watch the storm. On the eastern horizon was a tall black cloud with flames licking up inside it. As I was watching, a brilliant beam of light arced out of the cloud and started searching. After a few moments, the search beam swiveled around so it was blinding me. I asked "Jesus, is that you?" and then I was caught up into the cloud. That's when I woke up. Sometimes my dreams make no sense, but are wierd and amusing. There was one where I'm standing on a beach and it's raining happy porcupines. One time I dreamt I had telekinesis. I wandered around a junk yard and could feel something in my mind flexing whenever I exercised my power. The dream felt very real, and when I woke up, I put my lighter on the nightstand and stared intently at it, willing it to move. After about 30 minutes (the dream was really, really convincing) I began to realize just how silly I must look so I stopped. You know how they say that if you have a falling dream that you'll die if you don't wake up before you hit bottom? Well, I've hit bottom in my dreams, and even fallen into the jaws of a T-Rex, and I'm not dead yet. I have, however, learned to fly in my dreams so I don't have to hit bottom anymore. --Cap'n Bob

Does it matter? He won't come when you call anyway. --Captain Bob

I've already posted these in another, more obscure thread, but here they are again. I still havn't had a chance to wear this gear to any sort of event (apart from a short appearance at a Halloween carnival last autumn). I've got more hair on my jaws now, and I've made a few accessories to the outfit, but it's still pretty much as you see it here. --Captain Bob

After I complete my current project (a quaker cannon with naval carriage), I'm gonna try my hand at a seaman's chest. I already found a good antique-type padlock. It seems that the Beverly Crafts store in Carmichael (a suburb of the Big Tomato) regularly orders random lots of reproduction antique padlocks. I picked one up for about four simoleans. It looks exactly like this one. The new padlock's shackle barely fits the hasp on the little treasure chest, so now I must build something that needs a padlock. --Captain Bob

Dude! You're talking to a man of very limited means. When I spend much more than 25 bucks in one whack, I start to sweat. I'm looking at a supplier called Restorers. If anyone can recommend places I might find inexpensive antique-style hardware either on-line or at brick-and-mortar stores I might expect to find here in the Big Tomato, start recommending. I'll listen. --Captain Bob