Captain Bob

I believe Monterey Jack has gnawed his way down to the marrow of this particular bone of contention. Especially when you're a newbie, as I still consider myself, you are easily annoyed by the rude, dismissive manner that others, upon occasion, display. I am extremely grateful to the folks who go out of their way to answer questions not only accurately, but with respect for the person who's asking. I won't even bother trying to justify my kit to someone else. I just wanted to dress up like a pirate and participate to the extent I feel able. There are folks who cannot resist the temptation to demonstrate their superiority by pointing out the historical and material shortcomings of my kit and instructing me in the various ways I need to fix it (or worse, just laughing). Never mind the time, effort and money I spent putting it together, I should've made those slops from canvas and what was I thinking concealing a zippered fly and pockets? I infinitely prefer those who, instead, eagerly welcome me to the club as a new pyrate.

My access to the web is viá WebTV. All I can get is a map with no option to switch to a satellite view. WebTV isn't just lame, it's feeble-minded. It fully lives up to the description: "dumb terminal".

Er... Capn? I think that first link don't go where ya think it does. When I clicked on it I got a map of Genua, Italy. I second the quarter-scale pyrate vessel idea. To-scale guns'll cost less and if anyone asks if real pyrate vessels were that small you can answer: "No. We washed it in hot water by mistake and she shrunk."

In another thread, there is much discussion about Authentic barrels, casks, kegs, and whatnot. Several units of measure were mentioned that I have only heard of but never seen. I undertand a hogshead is a lot, while a firkin isn't. Two butts make a hogshead (or is it the other way around?) and a tun is just hyüge! Would somebody 'splain these (and any others in common use during the GAOP)? TIA! ~~Captain Redd Roberts (the pyrate formerly known as Cap'n Bob)

Has anyone got pictures of barrels with wooden hoops? Preferably with close-ups showing how they were secured to the barrel? ~~Cap'n Bob (Or Captain Redd Roberts. Depends on who's askin'.)

I've heard on several websites now that rayon is considered a "period" or "natural" fiber when it comes to period costume. I just don't get that. According to several different sources, rayon was the first artificial (that is, man-made) fiber and it was invented in (depending upon your source) 1892 or 1910. I would like to point out that the GAOP and the renaissance both preceded the invention of rayon. What's the deal, then? Is rayon so very similar to some other period fiber that it will pass even close inspection? Why does rayon get a pass? ~~Captain Redd Roberts (the pyrate formerly known as 'Cap'n Bob").

I recently ordered a 2-liter barrel with black steel hoops from Old World Barrel Co.. ISTR* reading a thread in Captain Twill where several folks stated that GAOP barrels, casks and/or kegs were almost all bound with wood and not iron. This makes sense, especially for barrels the ship's carpenter makes when away from port facilities. I'm not planning to make any barrels myself (unless, of course, it sounds like I might have the necessary skills and tools. Still, I'd like to know just how were wooden hoops constructed and what kind of wood was used to make them? ~~Captain Redd Roberts (the pirate formerly known as Cap'n Bob.)

Thankee mate! I'd forgotten all about that one. ~~Cap'n Red Roberts (a.k.a. Cap'n Bob)

We've all heard of SNAFU and FUBAR, but what about the more obscure acronyms? I know a few that you may not have heard of. Maybe you know some I've never seen. Let's share. TARFU: Things Are Really Fouled Up JANFU: Joint Army-Navy Foul-Up WAG: Wild-Assed Guess SWAG: Scientific Wild-Assed Guess BOHICA: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again.

Redefine a standard english word or make a new one up. Examples Dentist: a mechanic who specializes in auto body repair. Decaffeinated: a cow who's had an abortion. Collier: a seagoing vessel which is crewed by collies. Booth Camp: a gathering of actors who portray president Lincoln's assassin. Fence Post: An on-line offer to buy stolen goods. Next!

Watch closely. [url=www.bilgemunky.com]bilgemunky[/url] Et voilá: bilgemunky. And that's how you do a click-on thing. Simple, yes? ~~Cap'n Bob

I can't take full credit for the first two. They were inspired by an earlier post in this thread and are paraphrases of feminist tee-shirts I have seen. "The quickest way to a pirate's heart is between the 9th & 10th ribs. The quickest way to a pirate's heart really is through his stomach. (That way you don't have to hack through his ribs to get at it.) Official Pyrate Recruiter Ask me how you, too can go on the account and plunder the known world! Official Pyrate Recruiter Looking for a few bad men. Official Pyrate Recruiter We kill more people before sunrise than others do all day. Official Pyrate Recruiter Learn how to turn your sociopathic tendencies into profits overnight! Official Pyrate Recruiter Join for the plunder, stay for the rapine! That's all fer now. ~~Cap'n Bob

I posted the following in a different thread a few days ago: I was sitting here with vanilla rum & coke in hand when the candle over my head* flickered to life. There's a whole bunch of creative people here who just might be able to render the above flag as a gif file, and, once a design is settled upon, there are others who might (for a fee, of course) be able to render the resulting flag in cloth. This one's a two-parter. One: I am soliciting volunteers to create a GIF of the flag described above. I'm not rich, so the winner of this part of the competition gets nothing but bragging rights. Since I use WebTV, I won't be able to right-click and save the winning design, so sombody's gonna have to email it to me (preferaby in a size suitable for use as an avatar) so's I can upload it to Photobucket. Two: Once I have a winning design, someone who is capable let me know how much you'd charge me to make the flag (sized 2' × 4') & ship it to me. If I can afford it, I'll send you a money order for the specified amount and you send me the flag. The lowest bidder who can convince me they're up to the job gets the contract. Simple, no? ~~Cap'n Bob * Lightbulbs aren't GAOP period. Yeah, I know rum & coke isn't either. Don't bug me about it.

I made this one up all by myself. No, Really! I did!. Well, okay. I didn't, but it's still pretty good. Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentlman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic." Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched. There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish."

I currently have 3 packs. Two of Pirates of the Spanish Main and one of Pirates of the Barbary Coast. At first, I thought it was just a card game like "Magic, the Gathering" and wasn't interested in playing. I just wanted the cool little ships that came with the game. Now that I've glanced over the rules, I see that it's really a sort of a miniatures combat & strategy game. So tell me... How many variants are there to this game? Apart from different ships in each variant, what's the difference? Do I need all the differet "flavors"? I notice the rules say to use 5-6 islands. Does that mean Ineed to buy more? Just how many do I need, anyway? What do you like about these games? One thing I'd like to do is use these miniatures in combination with a piratey, swashbuckling role-playng game (such as GURPS or Hero System). Over 16 years ago I cannibalized counters from my copy of Wooden Ships and Iron Men so we could continue the action at sea in a role-playing campaign inspired by Yellowbeard and Pirates. Is anyone working on an RPG based on this game? If so, where can I find (18th centry) pirate miniatures? ~~Cap'n Bob

Quit smoking? With stress like that he's already smoking. The cigarettes are just so people will stop asking him where all that smoke's coming from. I am very fortunate in that I am not only very patient but derive sadistic pleasure by flummoxing the youth behind the counter by the simple act of presenting $5.03 to pay for a $4.53 purchase*. I've actually had cashiers attempt to refuse the pennies, explaining that $5 is enough. I am almost invariably rewarded with looks of astonishment when the register shows I'm owed exactly two quarters instead of the usual jumble of coins. Occasionally a cashier will ask me how I knew that would happen. My answer? "I learned arithmatic." ~~Cap'n Bob *Stated amount is for example purposes only. Actual amounts may vary

I use WebTV to access the internet, so I don't have any graphics capability at all. I will attempt to describe the flag I envision for Captain Bob: The flag itself is a rectangle with a height to length ratio of 1:2. The upper left quarter is black and the rest is red. Centered in the black quarter is a white hourglass, signifying that the time to peacefully surrender is limited. In the red field is a cutlass, a scythe (or sickle), and a skull. These last foreshadow the consequences should one fail to surrender peacefully in time. The cutlass represents violence, the scythe (or sickle) represents death, and the skull represents corruption. If anyone would like to illustrate the described flag, I would be grateful. Alas, I am a terrible seamstress and I will be unlikely to actually make the flag. *shrugs* Cap'n Bob

Your Birthdate: June 22 You tend to be understated and under appreciated. You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way. People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little. Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

I started getting into pyracy about a year ago. All I wanted at the time was a costume, but then I found the Pyracy Pub. All of a sudden I find that having a costume isn't enough. You've gotta have a pirate name, a persona and a fictional background. You've also got to be able to act (or reenact) like a pro, but I'm not a pro (I'm just barely an am). My question is, now that I look the part (even if it looks like a part in a Gilbert & Sullivan play) how do I do all the rest? Unlike Tall Mike Bismuth van der Bulge (cool name, BTW), I picked my name almost at random. This wasn't because I didn't care, but because I wanted to start participating as soon as possible. Hopefully, someone would help the new guy to sort things out, like where I can fit comfortably within the pyrate lifestyle spectrum. It's been nine months (or thereabouts). I figure if I don't start asking questions (many of which I didn't know needed asking when I got here) I'd be a long time figuring it all out by myself. My questions are: How do you come up with a fitting pyrate name? How do I go about making up a persona that I'm comfortable with? How do I portray this persona without getting flustered? What are the three rules of improvisational acting? (That's how many someone said there were in another thread.) What other questions ought I be asking? Awaiting your responses, I am: Yr Obdt Svt, Cap'n Bob

A bacon and pickled egg salad made with spicy pickled eggs, real bacon bits (finest fruit o' the pig, that), mayonnaise, brown mustard, onion powder and garlic powder. Eaten with arabian flat bread (1 piece left), switching to sourdough slices when the arabian bread is gone. Washed down with Captain Morgan Private Stock & Coke. ~~Cap'n Bob

I voted for tan. Still, I've been thinking that since summer's here I ought to buy some Hawaiian print material and make a summerweight frock coat with it. My only frock coat is made of corduroy and it's a bit warm for summer wear. ~~Cap'n Bob

I'd use sunscreen anyway. Skin cancer is a real risk. 17th century people were simply not aware of the cause-and-effect of sun exposure and skin cancer. As recently as the turn of the twentieth century, the average life expectancy for men in the USA was about 45 years. Two hundred or more years before then, I suspect things were about the same. Nobody worried about skin cancer because so few people lived long enough to get it. Nowadays, people live long enough to die from things that were, at one time, rare diseases. If you were nobility or gentry, you took pains not to get a tan, especially if you were female. Only the working class got a tan. Quality folk were pale as they could afford to be. Big hats, long sleeves, parasols, masks, whatever was appropriate to your station and gender was used to protect from the sun, not because they had any worries about skin cancer, but because pale skin was a sign that you could afford to keep the sun off. If you were a working class person who expected to spend a lot of time in the sun, you would try to get a tan as quickly as possible. This was not because people thought having a tan was fashionable (reference the previous paragraph). Rather, it was because once you were tan, you were less likely to burn. You were also more likely to develop skin cancer, but nobody knew about that. Since something else was likely kill you before then, it wouldn't have been much of a concern anyway. ~~Cap'n Bob

I'd been looking for a smallish barrel to use as a "pirate's canteen". I found a couple of sites that might have what you're looking for at less-than-pricey prices. http://www.1000oaksbarrel.com/catalog.html http://www.oldworldbarrel.com/ My only question is, how do you seal them if you don't plan to use them for aging hard liquor? They don't sell pine tar at the local hardware stores and I'm not sure how to use beeswax to coat the inside of the container (the preferred method, if I can figure it out). ~~Cap'n Bob

RE: torches... Were torches always just a stick with a fire on one end or were they more complicated than that? In more than one movie I've seen (not documentaries) characters wrap a cloth around a stick and dip it in flammable liquid, thus making a torch. Was it really that simple? Also, if you wanted to light a lamp, fire, torch, or even your pipe, what did you use? I presume matches were a few years away yet (lighters, too). What was the GAOP equivalent to a book of matches? ~~Cap'n Bob

Welcome to the pub, SilverWolf! [My own theory: guaranteed to be contradicted or at least "not exactly"-ed no more than a handful of posts after this one. ] I think that some of the confusion over what constitutes a pirate arises from the fact that, starting sometime in the 19th century, pirates became 'commercial'. That is to say, they were convenient bad guys in plays and novels. There is, of course, the romanticised perception that at least some pirates were throwing off the shackles of oppression and "sticking it to The Man". Captain Blood (starring Errol Flynn) is a perfect cinematic example of this mind-set. Throw in Captain Hook from Peter Pan and Long John Silver and it gets hard to sort the wheat from the chaff, especially since most of us were first made aware of pirates through movies, plays and books that were definitely not documentaries. I would be very surprised to learn that any of us here at the pub learned what they know about pirates and piracy as part of their cultural heritage. We've all had to go look it up. In fact, I suspect that pirates were more like seafaring outlaw bikers. They lived a life rife with malnutrition, long hours, dangerous work, little opportunity for social interaction outside their own crew, and the prospect of an early and unpleasant death. They may have had many of these problems before they came to piracy, but at least as pirates, they had a little more control over their own fate, as unpleasant as it might be. Sure, other folks might come to a bad end, but if you were a pirate, you were certainly more likely to have your bad end documented, much more so than an ordinary drunken sailor who fell off the pier and drowned while staggering back to his ship. Still, as has been said before, some of us are hard core historians, presenting as accurate a picture of piracy as possible, right down to (but not including) the scurvy. Others are just having fun dressing up like pirates and waving swords around. I myself am somewhere between the two extremes. I didn't want to wait to graduate from Pirate University (good old P.U!) with a degree in piracy, so I started doing a little research and put my own costume together. I assumed that folks who know more than I about the subject would be happy to teach me the difference between fictional pirates and factual ones. So far I've been right. ~~Cap'n Bob