Barbados Sam

deli sandwich with honey ham and hot-pepper turkey with gouda cheese and red onions

spikes

A nurse is going through the check out at the grocery store. She pulls out her checkbook and starts to write out the amount when she realizes she has a rectal thermometer in her hand. "Great", she says, "Some asshole has my pen"

steel leg irons

Exellent! Frees up the other hand to attend to "other business".......This morning I had scrambled eggs with home-made spaghetti sauce dolluped on top with a dusting of parmesian cheese......mmmmmm......

Sitting here at work sipping my morning coffee and planning out my day. Rummy, I'm assuming by server you meant your computer and not some cabin boy......either way, I hope it works out for you!

Patrick Hand and Sir Eric hit it on the head. (ouch) It should be all about having a good time. Like I said in my previous post, the mundanes in attendance aren't there for a history lesson, they are there to be entertained. My group (Stranglehold) spends all day interacting with the public.....doing skits and having fun with them. We feel like we are there to entertain, and we have fun doing it. Escondido was only my second faire (as a guild participant), and I can't wait for the next one!!!

purge

green pea soup

Demonic

neurotic

Aye Christine me luv....it takes two hands ta' handle a whopper

kinky

A bowl of grapes.....trying to lose weight....arrrrrrgh

Aye Diego, I sez we try that at Escondido in April

Be Good

mid life crisis

God sakes man....ye'v already broken it at ta' neck! Ya'l need more patience than that I tell ye......

Are you part of a ship's crew or guild? Or are ye a rogue pyrate freelancin'? Tell us about your group. Fer example, I see William Red Wake, Petee, Diego an' Rummy are part of the Watch Dog, but I don't know anything about the Watch Dog. Do you do faires together as a group? Just curious about your affiliations if any, and to see how many guilds or crews are represented here at the pub. An just ta' loosin' things up, drinks are on me My ship, the HMS Stranglehold is represented here in the pub by Killian, Gigi, Blaze, Ves Gillooly an' meself. We participate in Ren Faires in So Cal, but mostly the Escondido Faire and are available fer hire at private events as well.

Swap meet 'eh? Ye must have been by ta' Gypsy's camp lad.......

Aye Marrowbones...I be sailin' on a cursed ship meself. The HMS Stranglehold let women on board an' we been cursed ever since! The wenches be puttin' curtain on ta' portholes, we gots ta stop in every port so's they can be usin' tha facilities an' do a little shoppin.....an they can never fold the damn maps right neither!!! Good luck to ye mate.....we found a Gypsy in Port Escondido recently who be helpin' us wit' removin' the curse....if we gets any wheres, I'll be lettin' ye know. Till then, cheers to ye and yer crew

Arrrr. Where be this 'ere party?

When I sees the header, me thinks he was going to Iraq. Warmed me heart ta find he be off ta be demoralized, err, whatever that thar fancy werd ye used were.....HUZZAH ta Slipshot

They are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Cheers to all of our brave armed forces and may they return home safely....

Quality jokes to offend everybody. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong". What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit.... Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides