Cap'n Pete Straw

Approximately 1/3 of black powder is sulphur, so that ought to do it!

Jeez -- all my silver coins are oxidized ... I don't know what your problem is... One hint is DON'T USE SILVER POLISH. In my professional ("real life") capacity, I have connections to an amazing number of chemists. Called one, and asked how one would do this, but with household supplies. Here is what he said: "Oh, that's easy...." HOW TO TARNISH A SILVER COIN Step one: Clean the silver coin thoroughly. Use dish detergent and clean, clean, clean. It is adviseable to wear rubber gloves, as your skin oil can interfere with step two. Step two: Break open an egg. Separate it, and discard the egg white. Immerse the coin in the yolk and let it sit there. (The natural sulphur compounds in the yolk will react with the surface silver, producing desired silver sulfide.) Chemically, this is supposed to work, but he hasn't actually done it. He hypothesized that cooking the yolk and applying THAT to the coin might actually work better (possibly releasing greater amount of sulphides?). "If that doesn't work," he said, "I bet using onion or garlic oil would do the trick," because these things also contain high sulphur levels. I didn't want to ask why he gave me four methods if the first one was supposed to work so well off the bat, but ... whatever. Oh, and if you have any feedback, he is excited to hear it. I think chemists are, for the most part, lonely people. They rarely ever interact with pirates (except in Gideon DeFoe's book "The Pirates! In an adventure with Scientists" which I still highly recommend as a Fun Read).

I could talk 'bout my own kids all day, They are sweet, loving, kind and obey. Well, okay, I just lied But I had to have tried... I didn't want to use the word "gay." My oldest (a girl) is my life. She has a wit that can cut like a knife. She festoons her whole room With pics o' Orlando Bloom A practice supported (a lot!) by my wife! My son is a huge pyrate buff More maritime things weren't enough. Amidst clothes and old socks, He found his precious X-Box... Then forgot all his pyratical stuff. My youngest girl can melt the hardest of hearts, Has the purest spirit and plenty of smarts! She brings joy to my eye But I cannot deny... She still giggles at belches and farts!

WHAT?!? Casablanca is, seriously, one of the greatest movies ever made. It is just so ... classic. Excellent acting. Superb script. Great love story (or missed love... or... oh, just see it). Very well done. See it at your earliest opportunity. My favorite scene in the whole movie, is the French singing "La Marseillaise" and drowning out "Das Lied der Deutschen." Having said that, I must admit that my favorite Bogart movie of all time is The Maltese Falcon . This is Detective Film Noir at its most classic ever.

Well then, I'll have to give it a look-see. It's on cable all the time, so I am sure to catch it. But I went to Best Buy yesterday (with $30 worth of coupons!!!) to pick up Season 2 of "Sealab 2021" (I AM ADDICTED!). Had some credit left over, so I shopped around looking for some of the pirate titles that have been bandied about in these various fora. I only found two pirate titles: "Pirates of Penzance" and "Muppet Treasure Island." Had seen neither. But on the recommendation of a lot of you, I picked up MTI. Quite enjoyable. Surprisingly true to the book ... except perhaps the emaciated castaway Ben Gumm being played by Miss Piggy and a tribe of boars. While watching, I recalled that before the movie was released, Hormel began legal proceedings against Henson & Co for naming one of the movie characters Spa'Am.

Mermaids and pirates.... Kind of partial myself, especially as it is part of my own geneological history! According to legend, the origin of my surname (Naw, it's not "Straw") was a Norseman who married a mermaid. Cool, eh?

You know, of course, that an excellent use for intercranial grey and white matter is as a cleansing and sealant agent for hand-tooled Mexican floor tiles, don't you? Just work into the tiles with an old hand towel, allow to dry for an hour, then wipe off using a Swiffer mop.

So, is that the pirate costume, or the fancy lady's dress (with parasol)?

My answer would be... never. Am I missing something good?

Numbers fourteen and fifteen were best They looked delectible whene'er they undressed But when sixteen peered Down the shorts of Blackbeard I gotta tell ye, she were most unimpressed!

Sometimes ye roll them thar dice much too slow Take yer turn, pay yer rent, ye slo-mo! Can't wait to swoop in fer the kill, 'Cause nothin' beat that thar thrill Two hunnert bucks each time ye pass "Go"

Seventeen wives ye say? Oh, my Lord! Guess in port ye needn't get whored. But on Saturday night, What a terrible fright, Tryin' te sit round the Monopoly board!

Blackbeard? Ye mean Edward Teach! A nastier cur ye sure couldn't preach. What with his nasty old ways, Though all 'is piratin' days, He sure were a filthy son of a beech!

Ahh, now I be all confused. D'ye really need an action figure to be playin' wit' yerself? Iffen that be true, I fear I've been doin' it wrong all these tears...

Yow! That sounds like a lot of fun! Invite me! Invite me! I wanna play, too!

That's why the pattern is labeled "Costume." The coat is not historically accurate, either (faux pockets, no lining, etc. etc.).

If anyone can get the list of people that pay $850 for something like that, send it my way... For that price tag, I can turn out something of that quality, and it would be well worth my time.

This topic has been asleep for awhile, but today I just finished the previously & afore-mentioned book (Gideon Defoe's "The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists") and I have to bring it back into the light. Steer clear, all who read only serious historical pirate accounts, but I STRONGLY encourage anyone with a funnybone to pick up this delightful book. It is a quick read (as mentioned before) but I cannot recall immediately to mind a more enjoyable and silly, silly read -- and it's pirate-themed! Although it is quite short, I found it reminiscent of the humor found in Douglas Adams' books. I laughed out loud in spite of myself sevearl times. The book is chock-full of humor, ridiculous situations, and silly adventure. Totally enjoyable, IMHO. Zath Chauvert accurately questioned the price tag (marked a whopping $15.95 in my copy), but I will read this one a couple more times before I put it away, and then will dig it out again later to re-enjoy. I will get my money's worth out of it. If you can borrow a copy (or get from the library) -- it is well worth your time.

Hmmm... could be a problem. Methinks yer legs require closer examination...

Most likely advertising text... it may be a stock photo from another source with descriptive text that they no longer liked.

Er, yes... at least in that I can look (back) at 40. ..Oh! I'm also rather fond of margueritas (and can mix up a REAL mean batch of 'em).

If Misty Mundae starred in it, it was softcore. I can't afford to admit (on the Internet) to owning ... er... renting... er... knowing about anything "harder." I actually took a girlfriend to see "Flesh Gordon" in the theatre for a date. It was only rated "R" at the time, and acquired an adult (X? NC-17?) rating in subsequent years... probably when someone actually WATCHED it.

Are ye all headin' up here now? There's easily a foot or more of snow on the ground. What a wonderful time for pirates to visit Chicago! Yes! Especially if ye are from Florida or California!

There once was a fine pirate lass and she had a sweet pirate's ass. In a bag she did keep it 'Till in beef broth did steep it. Tasted great with red wine in a glass!

Hawkyns, Believe me, I totally "get" what you're saying. Regarding mindset, we are in 100% agreement. When I fence, I do not forget that people used this "sport" to fight to the death not too terribly long ago. And a wound is (in my mind's eye) a wound. When I thrust my epee "through your heart," it is a marvelously legal way of committing manslaughter -- even though you don't have to die. If I miss and only wound your shoulder, it is a terrible defeat, for you can still fight on. And if it is I that "die," it is a bitter death, indeed. All in all, it beats the hell out of "Shoot-em-up" video games. Okay, dammit. I am going to dust off my fencing equipment tomorrow and find some club in this area... there must be SOMETHING. I miss the sport. I miss the fun. I miss the challenge. I miss the art. Again, Hawkyns, keep up the good work -- I have nothing but admiration for you... we simply walk different paths (but I believe we can see each other from our respective chosen paths)