Red-Handed Jill

I've played too many pranks to list, but back when I was a computer geek, I used to play all kinds of practical jokes on my fellow geeks. In fact, we all used to play them on each other. One time, I took a screen print of a co-worker's desktop and then made it his wallpaper. (You can't just do a screenprint - you need to adjust it so that the taskbar at the bottom isn't clickable and then adjust it back. However, it can't look stretched. Herein is the artistry of the trick...) Then, I removed all of his icons and hid the toolbar so that he couldn't get to programs that way. This confounded him quite well - he couldn't figure out how I did that. Eventually, I put it back for him. Another time, I took apart his monitor, adjusted it so that it would be just a little bit blurry and then put it back together. He tried adjusting the front buttons, installing a new driver and changing the settings to no avail. Eventually, when he had to go to a meeting I adjusted it back. Hey - I think this is my 1000th post - I've got the skull icon now! Woo Hoo!

tasty

Cylon

Isn't it nice, though, to see your name on the cover no matter the print size?

charlatan

Glad to hear your grandmother got through surgery - it's a long road ahead, but if she has your kind of strength, she should be able to get through the rehab in short order. I hope you get your tub lift - you should be able to have bubble baths whenever you want them! Jacuzzi jets are good too - isn't there a portable jacuzzi unit that fits in a regular bath?

Makes sense - dive knives are made without points for that very reason - they are often used to pry things, so the tip would inevitably break off. It's a tool, not a stabbing device.

problems

pillow talk

Try this one: Escapa It's rumoured that a similar game is used by fighter pilots and by their standard, you should be able to last for two minutes. Some of my co-workers have tried it and the best ones are the young guys who play a lot with X-Box and such. I've played it a few tries, but my personal best is only 46.127 seconds - guess I'm not fighter pilot material...

twice as nice

CPA

Really great attention to detail - these are wonderful!

Hmm... sounds like you're feeling victimized at work and feel powerless to have any real impact on whether or not this happens. Does that sound close? Didn't you have an issue awhile back about a new person who decided she didn't want to work weekends when those of you with seniority were still expected to? Stuff like that would be frustrating enough to cause those kinds of dreams.

choke

WOO HOO - ye be a ship's captain now!

never forgets

Hmmm... Get a book published. Done that (it was a textbook of architectural illustrations.) Raise award-winning minks. Well, they weren't award-winning, but I have helped raise minks for a "discovery center" for kids. Build a life-sized velociraptor. Don't have the garage space. Although that in itself should be on my list: buy a place with a bigger garage. Fish every river in Montana. Vegetarian - no interest in fishing. See Africa. Now that is something I'd like to do. Effectively communicate with a teenager. I have actually done that. I think the teenagers in question were wise beyond their years, though. Take up spelunking. Mildly claustrophobic. I've tried that when I was younger, though. Fly an Ultralite across Kansas. Hmmm... Comprehend economics in all its glory. That falls within the category of "never going to happen." Although, as a financial advisor, understanding that it's a social science allows me to set a number of people straight when they start with the "but it's the 'new' economy." Knit a flag. I could do that, but I prefer to sew. The flag making is on Iron Jack's list. Make history - using terra cotta. Har har. Surf Canada. Again - har har. Used to surf, but no longer.

My lists have changed over the years, too. I've also noticed that some of the things that seemed so important when you're young get reprioritized as the years go by. One big thing that I had wanted to do that I got to check off my list was teach. I taught within the corporate and scientific arenas for years but wanted to move into the academic arena. A few years back, I was able to do that by being offered a position at a local college. I loved it! I did that for a few years and then the budget went into the toilet and I was back in the corporate world. I am very happy, though, that I had that opportunity. The other things were not as big on my list and I've done them. I mostly give myself a difficult challenge every couple of years just to make things interesting. I'm due for one this year. Any suggestions?

sexy beast!

financial independence

Aye, but isn't truth subjective? What is true to one person might not be as true for another. I think that's where a lot of difficulties lie, in the distance between the two. But being honest and upfront with someone tends to go a long way towards closing the distance. This goes for one's children as well as other loved ones. Matt - I hope you make it back here!

and rice

I haven't been divorced myself, but have seen quite a few friends through the process. From the standpoint of frequent observer, my best advice is to keep things in perspective, particularly if there are children involved. This is a lot easier if the reason for the divorce was "we just can't live together anymore/we've both grown apart" rather than "you slept with my (former) best friend!" I did have a rather bizarre breakup in a common-law relationship that involved getting entangled in an FBI investigation and having a third party threaten to kill me because of a misunderstanding about my role in this case. The reason my ex became my ex was because he crumpled like wet tissue and refused to do anything to help the situation, other than look for an escape for himself and then give up. I suddenly had a giant millstone around my neck and had to constantly look over my shoulder (and in my truck for bombs) and he was more of a hindrance than anything else. I didn't want go through this with him every time something got tough, so we parted ways. So, no fighting about alimony or child custody, but I got to experience nine months of hell and wondering if I was going to live or die. But, I was able to solve the case for the FBI and when the fugitive in question called me from jail, I was able to tell him with great pleasure who put him there.

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