Some of us (myself included) have had to go through similar stuff, so we can sympathize with you. It's tough to go through that mix of emotions that accompany a loved one's death after a long illness.
Right now, I'm looking at my turtle doing what Jack and I call her "egg dance". She's uncomfortable and trying to spend as much of her time standing on her back legs. However, turtles aren't meant to stand that way, so she falls over a lot. The way she's carrying on, it looks like she's carrying quite a load of eggs.