Red-Handed Jill

Banana crepes

Nowadays more often than not there are two breadwinners, but oftentimes even though both spouses work, when they get home it's the woman who does the majority of the housework. (Jack and I seem to be the exception - we split the housekeeping duties down the middle.) And there are a lot of things that women endeavor to do to make their men's lives easier. Not stuff that you'd notice unless you really thought about it, but a lot of things just seem to take care of themselves... That being said, my point is that if you asked a woman what her husband/boyfriend/fiance's eye colour was or what their favorite food was or their favorite movie or who they have problems with at work, they'd most likely be able to tell you. Ask a guy the same questions and many of these things would most likely be a mystery to him. I'm not saying it should be one-sided. Or that all men are insensitive clods. Or that it should be wine and roses, romance all the way. I'm just saying that in many cases making a real effort at getting to know a woman and what really makes a woman happy would be appreciated more than you can imagine.

No worries - their posts will be eliminated.

Such a guy....

I've been hunting for this post everywhere but darned if I can find it! I'm looking to modify a pair of desert boots so I don't fall on my butt while swordfighting (I've seen too many people slipping and sliding on their Fugawees to even consider wearing a pair of those shoes while using edged weapons...) I saw a link somewhere about how to modify a pair of desert boots so that they look reasonable. Can someone point me in the right direction? Thanks!

"That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory."

From the other classic, "Shaun of the Dead"!

Okey dokey: "Well, I wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no-holds-barred, adrenaline-fueled thrill ride. But, there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork."

Is that from Conan the Barbarian?

Nothing - I need to get some breakfast!

Well, for those of us who do this part time, it IS tough. I'm a software trainer; I spend 85% of my time at work sitting in front of a computer. I have the occasional weeks standing up in a classroom all day, but it's not as though I'm lifting and running. Only reason I don't collapse during a reinactment weekend is because I exercise every day. I'm willing to bet most of us have similarly sedentary jobs. Imagine what kind of shape we'd be in if to get from point A to point B we had to walk. Or ride horseback. Or haul sails. Every day.

It's tough to care about someone so much that their leaving pains you so, but so wonderful that such a worthy person existed in the first place. Sending good thoughts your way, Silkie!

Also, if she broke up with her boyfriend last week, it might be a wee bit early to be asking her out on a date. You say she didn't look as though she was too broken up about it, but I'm willing to bet her friends or female co-workers can say differently.

Gents - a big part of fixing the problem IS listening and just letting her know that you care. Really. The thing is, she's already thought of the solutions you were thinking of telling her. Women by their natures tend to be pragmatic problem solvers, so solving the actual problem is the easy part. The issue is with the attendant emotions, worries and such that accompany the problem. That's where she would like a little support from you. So just being a ready ear and possibly a shoulder to cry on is what is needed the most. More often than not, that will solve the problem she actually came to you with.

^ This is more comedy than horror: when I was a small kid, I ate a cherry tomato for the first time. My cousin passed it to me at the "kid's table" at a family gathering and I bit into it. The insides sprayed every which way and all the other kids ducked under the table like mad. We laughed about that incident for a long time. ^ There are many good eggplant dishes. If it's prepared correctly, eggplant is a thing of beauty. However, Most folks don't know how to prepare them, so they come out bitter and chewy. < I make a killer eggplant dish - even folks who say they hate eggplant love it. V Pass the question.

If you feel strongly enough about someone, it shouldn't be that big a deal to make the effort, just to make the other person happy. For example, you are grocery shopping and at the checkout line you see Altoid Mango Sours - and you remember that your girlfriend really likes those so you buy her some. Just the fact that you remembered something like that can go a long way. And yeah, the "It's that same guy again" syndrome. Been there, done that - way too often. Sometimes you just have to step back and take a look at why your relationships fall under the category of "recurring motif."

Mark - here's that map:

Ah - the LaLaurie house. Stopped there as part of the aforementioned haunted tour. She wasn't there at the time...

I'd go to Ireland in the 1630's to warn them about Cromwell and to do my best to get them to fortify their defenses. Then I'd make sure I was in a position to... ummm... prevent him from going to Ireland, just to cover all of the bases.

So they came to their senses and awarded you - smart of 'em!

This is so senseless. I had no idea that the entire bridge had collapsed! I'm not sure how it is in other states, but in California, we've got lots of CalTrans guys sitting around and taking FOREVER to do jobs when they should be... I don't know - working?...

You never know until you try! If something is the least bit fascinating, take a class. Or sometimes necessity is the mother of invention - I got into fixing cars because my father was a mechanic, but mostly because I couldn't afford to take my car to a shop!

Guys - do you want to know THE secret? What most women want? They want you to make an effort. An effort to remember that her eyes are green or that she likes white lilies or that she likes Chinese food. An effort to make a day or evening special for her. They want you to know you were thinking about her even when she wasn't there with you. And if there is something wrong, just listen. Don't try and fix it - just listen. One big reason guys are always the last to know what's going on with their significant others is because they figure that's what girlfriends are for and the women end up telling them very little about what's going on with them. I can't tell you how many of my male friends were devastated when their wives/fiances/partners/girlfriends left them and they had no clue that there was anything wrong. Ask the woman and find out she tried to tell him, but he didn't listen. So she just gave up trying. All of the should you use more or less pressure or do you do this or that or whatever all flow from making the effort and listening. Do these things and it will all be abundantly clear. You'll also have tremendous luck with women.

Speaking for myself, for me it's primarily a case of not limiting myself. Or rather, not letting other people limit what I thought I could do. When I was in college, I restored old cars and was a marine pathologist intern. I also dove with sharks and my hobbies were power lifting, sword fighting and martial arts. But on the other hand, I designed clothes, sewed, embroidered and liked to cook. And I did freelance graphic work for clothing and textbooks and had a small tutoring business with specialties in biology, english grammar, algebra and calculus. I should mention that I had to be cautious about talking about this stuff, since it intimidated most guys. I should also mention that at the time, I only slept every other night. And in terms of music, it's very mathematical. There have been studies linking folks with musical ability and mathematical aptitude.

Paneer Makhani, basmati rice and naan.