Red Bess

Mates, join me in raisin' a tankard in honor of me dear friend an' most artistic webmatey, Lorelei! Happy Natal Day, lass! Had so much fun celebratin' on Friday night I plum forgot the actual day. Can ye forgive me? *sad puppy eyes* Sweet dreams on yer birthday night. Drink up, me heartie, yo ho!

Sjöröveren, it looks like Merry's party is in the hot tub, so ya better get over there. There'll be a lot of people, so wear your "good" trunks!

'Munky, I think you can look forward to a promising career (and possible criminal charges) as a romance writer. I can see the reviews now: "Smart and sexy. A real feast for readers with pretty-girl-and-a-blue-monkey fetish." The New York Times "Bilgemunky shows a side of himself not seen before." San Diego Zoo Weekly Newsletter "You know that part where the evil guy sticks Elizabeth Swann with the needles? That was awesome!" Dillon, Age 11 Best of luck in your new writing endevor. Which studio is negotiating for the film rights?

Nice work, Desert Pyrate!! And I can just hear our teacher: "Sassy, you get down from there this instant, young lady!"

Hi, I'm back. I went shopping for a "virtual present" for ya, but I was havin' trouble gettin' it uploaded. But I figured, hey, since I call meself a poet of sorts, I'd punch out a pome fer yer birthday. (a real poem, that has nothing to do with Nantucket). So here it be, lass. Hope ya likes it: The Angel of Death (inspired by and dedicated to our own MerryD) Her merry laughter fills the pub Where the sailors gather They buy her rum and crowd around Her affection they are after A siren from the ocean deep Her beauty is enthralling She smiles and listens with intent To the tales they are recalling A handsome pirate steals her eye A heavy purse he carries With gold and silver he makes to woo But his actions make her wary "Alas, m'lord, I'm not a wench. You cannot buy my kisses. I, too, a skull and crossbones fly, None stand against my wishes." He draws his blade, but much to slow Her loveliness, it blinds him The sorceress, her deadly spell Has captured him, and binds him The woman with the blackened heart Offers up her best: A cutlass swept across his throat, A dagger in his chest She leaves a kiss upon his lips A wine-sweet taste that thrills him Yet as she spills the pirate's blood, 'Tis a broken heart that kills him. --by Red Bess

South Park Red Bess.

As much as I would have liked to see Johnny win Best Actor, I was tickled pink to see LOTR sweep! Now, it does get a bit one-sided for an awards show to have such a dominating film and it would be nice to know who came in 2nd for some of those awards. My guess is Master and Commander would have taken more awards if they hadn't been up against LOTR. And you would think POTC would have won Visual Effects if it wasn't for the WETA Workshop and Gollum and those giant elephant things. But the LOTR trilogy is, IMHO, the best 3 films since the original Star Wars. And, yes, fantasy and comedy are trendy in Hollywood now, which bodes well for our lad in the future. Maybe here's his Oscar.

With me mate Sjöröveren in Minneapolis. (Today it was a sub-tropical 47 degrees - woohoo! Seriously. Woohoo.)

Happy Week an a Day 'Fore Yer B-Day! I'm comin' up, so ya better get this party started! Cool pirate doll, Redvipers! Hey, maybe I got time to find somethin'! *runs off to shop for MerryD's birthday present*

Oooo, I haven't missed it -- the spirits have done it all in one night. (oh, wait, that was Christmas.) Oh -- it's Maggie's B-day comin' over the horizon! Well, then, let's have all those spirits in one night -- or over the course of several nights! Happy 2 Days Til Yer Birthday, lass!

Iron Sal. I'll stick with Red Bess, though. I got that name from a "git yer pirate name" machine, too, but it suites me.

Duct tape. (Hey, I'm from Minnesota.... )

Sorry, mates, I was a little late getting here. Happy Birthday, Redvipers! And no more of this "gettin' old" talk -- we be celebratin'!

And apparently we're all either a Rackham or a Bonney. The Long John Silver website has a "git yer pirate name" and they seem to have even fewer names to choose from than this site. And on that one they don't even ask you any questions other than yer real name. Tis best ta have yer name handed to ya at the end of a blade.

Aye, Bess, you ARE the original. I be merely a pale imitation indeed. And I have no idea what the hell a "Prudentilla" is, but it don't sound much like ye!

Actually, this IS where I got me pirate name. Red Bess Bonney. I liked the Red Bess part (since it matches me hair - Clairol #16RG) so I started using it. And by "using it" I mean I signed on this pub. (most forms I fill out don't ask for me "pirate name" -- pity, really.)

Aye, yer a fine mate, lass. And thanks for the spot of rum! Get 'em young an' teach 'em right, I aways say. Yer well on yer way to being "Capt Maggie" 'fore too long! Cheers, luv!

*gets up from table where she and Merrydeath have been eating chow mein and drinking hot rum* Ah, looks like the fightin' is over and the drunken singin' is startin' (at least fer some o' us) *warbling off key* Farewell and adieu to you Spanish ladies *gets all choked up, mercifully stops singing* *sob* I luv ya guys.

Hold on there! I'll arm rassle ya both!! Ya want me to use me regular arm or the one with......THE HOOK!!? (Just kidding -- it be my new Pampered Chef pasta server) This means you, Sjöröveren, 'cause I know what you be thinking. And I know ye HAVE been to Singapore!

*gets to her feet, dripping wet* Hoooowhee! That was refreshin'! *looking around* Where'd my chow mein go?

It was my husband that was the pirate fan -- he had cool collection of pirate toys and junk even back when we were in college. After we got married, we had a "pirate shelf" that eventually expanded into a whole bookcase of pirate stuff. But pirates didn't become my obsession until a couple years ago. I was in Bayfield, WI and the lake and the sailboats inspired me to write a poem about a woman who's lover is pirate far away, etc, etc. I did some research (because I wanted my poem to have a bit of realistic feel to it) and I was totally facinated by the history I read. I kept asking myself: how did I miss this stuff all these years? I was most impressed by the story of Anne Bonny. I decided instead of writing about a woman in love with a pirate, I would write about a woman who was a pirate. So I've been researching and writing Anne of the High Seas for the past 2 years. Now, my husband is also a historical re-enactor -- usually a 19th century doctor -- and of late we've toyed with the idea of becoming pirate re-enactors someday. This venture into the Pyracy Pub is my first contact with other "pirate enthusiasts" and it is a wonderful experience. I think I've found a port to call home!

Oh, sorry about the slack-jaw thing. From now on, it's it's purely physical. *kicks him in the shins* Ow! Me foot!

Aw right, Sjöröveren, I'll fight wit ya (even though I can do that anytime -- it's more fun this way!) *slap* Curse ya for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot! Take that, ye scruvy son-of-a-seahorse.

Ditto -- ranks right up there with my favorite (also Canadian) band, Tanglefoot. :) Trapper, you and I share same musical tastes, methinks. What other bands do you recomend?

"If ye had fought like a man, ye needn't be hanged like a dog" ---Anne Bonny to Calico Jack Rackham before his execution, November 1720