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Two truths and a Lie


William Brand

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1. I have a an official Bacon Number of 3 (that's Three Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon).

2. I have personally met twelve different Nobel Prize winners.

3. There is a reasonably good chance that I will go to Stockholm for the Nobel Prize -- to accept the award.

You think you have this one figured out, don't you.    Guess.  Double-dog dare you to guess.

"Cap'n Pete, my guess, One is a lie. Two and Three are true, put ye'd be acceptin' the award fer someone else!"

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Here we go then...in honor of it being nearly Halloween....

1.  I have a real skeleton in my closet.

2.  I have tombstones in my backyard.

3.  I encased my girlfriend in plaster, and now she is mine forever more.

"Long Tom, they're all true, except yer girlfriend is no longer encased in plaster; so, three would be a lie."

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1. I've parked my keyster in the back seat of an SR-71.

2. I once held the North American heavyweight wrest'lin belt.

3. At 10 pm on the 4th of July 1976, I sings the "Battle of New Orleans" whilst walkin' through Mildenhall village UK, on me way back to the base.

"Morgan, twistin' words. I've held superbowl rings, doesn't mean I played in the bowl game! So, ye may have held in yer hands the belt, or not. Sittin' in the back seat of an SR-71, it could happen. Congress men have done it; yer not a politician, are ye? 'Battle of New Orleans', hmmm... There's two versions of that song and one favors the Brits!"

"My guess, One is a lie, ye didn't sit in an SR-71. Two and Three are true; but, ye didn't win the belt and just curious, which version of the song did ye sing?"

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Aye, twistin' be what the game be about.

The back seat i've occupated bein' an egress cadaver for the fire dept.

The belt was mine fer about 20 minutes one night. But ya plays the game as the booker calls it or ya plays no more :lol:

The lie was singin' the "battle" in '76. Twas '78, an the 513th would 'ave had my arse iffin's I sang a song beholdin' to blokes.

PIRATES!  Because ye can't do epic shyte wi' normal people.

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Here we go then...in honor of it being nearly Halloween....

1.  I have a real skeleton in my closet.

2.  I have tombstones in my backyard.

3.  I encased my girlfriend in plaster, and now she is mine forever more.

I think the tombstones are in your front yard. :lol:

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1) I was chosen to sing a solo at Carnegie Hall during an High School competition.

2) Got bayoneted by a dead guy, right in the keester.

3) Got shot in the arm trying to cross a street.

Hmmm ...tis a difficult one.

I do not see how a dead guy could bayonet you. However, as a reinactor the dead guy could have been live.

Specifying the arm could easily be what makes it a lie, perhaps you were shot in the leg.

Finally your wife is the singer, I suspect she sang in Carnegie Hall.

I say 1 is the lie.

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1. I have a an official Bacon Number of 3 (that's Three Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon).

2. I have personally met twelve different Nobel Prize winners.

3. There is a reasonably good chance that I will go to Stockholm for the Nobel Prize -- to accept the award.

You think you have this one figured out, don't you.    Guess.  Double-dog dare you to guess.

You are involved in theatre and even I have a Bacon Number of only 5.

The two Nobel Prize statements would seem to support each other, which is why I suspect one of them is the lie. As someone stated earlier the prize you are accepting could be someone elses. Meeting 12 different Nobel Prize winners could be achieved by accepting the award. The award could have been accepted in the past.

I am suddenly reminded of Vizzini's "dizzying logic" logic when in the battle of whits with the Dread Pirate Roberts in the film "The Princess Bride"

:lol::lol::lol:

I say ...random choice ...3 is the lie.

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Here we go then...in honor of it being nearly Halloween....

1.  I have a real skeleton in my closet.

2.  I have tombstones in my backyard.

3.  I encased my girlfriend in plaster, and now she is mine forever more.

I think the tombstones are in your front yard. :huh:

Silkie guesses closest; the tombstones are in the garage at present.

The skeleton belongs to my wife, who acquired it as an art student for anatomy drawing class, before trafficking in such articles was stopped in the US. His name is Siddhartha. (India was apparently the last nation from which commercial skeleton imports were allowed before they were discontinued completely.)

I have actually encased not one, but two women in plaster. One of them didn't let me finish, though.

A friend contacted me to help create a statue for a woman's symposium. We elected to accomplish this via plaster bandages. The friend was to be the model. She brought a group of us to the home of a certain art student, who was to direct the proceedings. We prepared the materials, the friend stripped, and we began molding her, starting at the feet and working upwards. As we progressed, however, she began to complain of feeling faint, and as the bandages reached mid-thigh, she collapsed to the floor amid a wreck of wet plaster. Knowing that time was limited, the art student volunteered to model, and we began afresh while the original model recovered on the couch. Being for whatever reason more constitutionally suited to the job, the art student withstood the entire procedure, and we allowed the shell to cure. When it came time to cut the shell off, for some unknown reason this art student deemed me, of all the group, the one that she would trust with a pair of scissors between her skin and the plaster shell. She just had a feeling about me probably being the gentle one in the situation. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship; two years later we were married, and she is now my wife of fifteen years. :)

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1. I have a an official Bacon Number of 3 (that's Three Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon).

2. I have personally met twelve different Nobel Prize winners.

3. There is a reasonably good chance that I will go to Stockholm for the Nobel Prize -- to accept the award.

Hmmmmmmm......

Official Bacon Numbers involve connections through being in films. Silkie mentioned you being in theater. I'm going to split a hair and guess that your connections are through live theater, not film, therefore your Bacon number is not official.

(Yes, I know. Lame answer. I supposed I could have done a few coin flips instead.) :huh:

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Too many other people are pending, and enough people have guessed (right and wrong)... so I am already starting to get lost. It's Reveal Time for me.

3. Truth. No -- not accept an award for someone else. I would be part of the team. I have been centrally involved for over four years in a project of using science as a bridge to peace in the Middle East. I will not take the space here to fully expand on this, but many have suggested that this project -- if it continues to gain momentum -- could land the organizing committee a Nobel Peace Prize; at least we are in the right league. As one of the two people who have done virtually all the work on this project, I would undoubtedly Be There. But, time will tell. I am much more concerned that our very, very hard work will pay off for the benefit of everyone on Planet Earth, as that is really reward enough for me... especially as I have children who will live longer in this world than I.

2. Truth. I am almost certain I met more than 12 Nobel laureates, but 12 is all I could recall, and this was supposed to be a Truth. In the approximate order I met them: Leon Lederman, Linus Pauling, Roald Hoffmann, Mario Molina (he actually rode in my car), Sherwood Rowland, Dudley Herschbach, Yuan T. Lee, Jean-Marie Lehn, Claude Cohen Tannoudji, Torsten N. Wiesel, Aaron Ciechanover, and Richard Ernst.

3. This was the lie. I have a Bacon number of 3, but not official. Long Tom called this one on the head (Jacky Tar was close, but he thought the Nobel Prize would be for someone else so... No). My Bacon number is not official, as is is not through major motion pictures. I appeared with Michael Moore in the television show "TV Nation" (this was not a minor appearence -- I had a few significant roles, some in the same frame as he, including collapsing dead on camera against his legs).

... Anyway, Michael Moore appeared in EdTV (1999) with Clint Howard; Clint Howard was in "My Dog Skip" (2000) with Kevin Bacon.

I want to play again...

04de8cfe.jpg

"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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... I am almost certain I met more than 12 Nobel laureates... In the approximate order I met them: Leon Lederman, Linus Pauling, Roald Hoffmann, Mario Molina (he actually rode in my car), Sherwood Rowland, Dudley Herschbach, Yuan T. Lee, Jean-Marie Lehn, Claude Cohen Tannoudji, Torsten N. Wiesel, Aaron Ciechanover, and Richard Ernst.

And I want to add... I actually hung out, ate, and knocked back a few drinks with most of these guys. It wasn't just a handshake (except in the case of Torsten Wiesel). And a finer, more down-to-Earth bunch of people you will never meet.

I actually helped Dudley Herschbach (who appeared animated on an episode of The Simpsons) calculate his Bacon number.

04de8cfe.jpg

"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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"Tom not t' split hairs, but is yer garage in the front of your house or back, or on the side of yer house?"

My garage is under my living room, in the front of the house. Nowhere near the back yard.

However, it belatedly occurs to me that I've committed some fairly grievous ambiguities (indeed some outright errors) in my explanations. My editor would have a conniption, if I had an editor.

First, "The skeleton belongs to my wife..." Yikes! :lol:

Second, I met that certain art student for the first time the day I encased her in plaster, so technically she was not my girlfriend at the time. In fact, I made a big mistake in the timetable: there was an intervening eighteen months between the plaster statue event and the next time I saw her, whereupon we fairly immediately became close; it was two years after that before we married. Still, she was my girlfriend at some point, I did encase her in plaster at some point, and now she is mine forever, so that statement is less false than "I have tombstones in my back yard" despite the fact that they have been in the back yard once within the past week and will be again come Halloween night.

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"Tom not t' split hairs, but is yer garage in the front of your house or back, or on the side of yer house?"

My garage is under my living room, in the front of the house. Nowhere near the back yard.

However, it belatedly occurs to me that I've committed some fairly grievous ambiguities (indeed some outright errors) in my explanations. My editor would have a conniption, if I had an editor.

First, "The skeleton belongs to my wife..." Yikes! :lol:

Second, I met that certain art student for the first time the day I encased her in plaster, so technically she was not my girlfriend at the time. In fact, I made a big mistake in the timetable: there was an intervening eighteen months between the plaster statue event and the next time I saw her, whereupon we fairly immediately became close; it was two years after that before we married. Still, she was my girlfriend at some point, I did encase her in plaster at some point, and now she is mine forever, so that statement is less false than "I have tombstones in my back yard" despite the fact that they have been in the back yard once within the past week and will be again come Halloween night.

"LongTom, like I said, all true with the need to correct ambiguities!"

1) Skelton in a closet, in a house, ye share wit' yer wife.

2) Tombstones, seem to wander at yer house. Bloody hell, ye have tombstones!

3) Yer wife, was not yer girlfriend when ye turned her into art; but, thankfully she survived the ordeal!

But, the more pressin' question: Do we need t' send someone over, t' start diggin' in yer backyard?

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I'm too boring and you people know me too well, but here goes:

1. I've been arrested for disorderly conduct.

2. I've been brought before a church council for practicing witchcraft.

3. I've been sued for damages for inflicting bodily injury.

The lie is the first three words of your post.

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I'm too boring and you people know me too well, but here goes:

1. I've been arrested for disorderly conduct.

2. I've been brought before a church council for practicing witchcraft.

3. I've been sued for damages for inflicting bodily injury.

The lie is the first three words of your post.

Perhaps. Or perhaps the lie is that you people know me well :lol:

And I agree, with Morgan: Jacky Tar, number 2 is a lie -- you flew into Russian airspace on purpose!

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Red Bess, if #2 the lie, it's a real good one!

Jacky Tar, all three are believable... So I will also say the Russian airspace is the lie, but it seems like a toss up between the three... unless the woman who was brought to you was a witch named Red Bess!

04de8cfe.jpg

"He's a Pirate dancer, He dances for money, Any old dollar will do...

"He's a pirate dancer, His dances are funny... 'Cuz he's only got one shoe! Ahhrrr!"

FH1040.jpg

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Here are three more concerning myself.

1. I was a homeless man who lived in Golden gate park in San Francisco.

2. I had lunch with Natalie Cole, the singer and actress.

3. I did time at County. For those of you not in the know, that means jail.

 

 

 

image.jpeg.6e5f24495b9d06c08a6a4e051c2bcc99.jpg

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Guess I should fess up.

1. I was injured in a street fight.

I was. In Stratford Upon Avon, England. Drinking in public parks is legal there. It was a warm fall day and we choose to quietly do so in the park rather than in a crowded bar. One of the Brit's that was with us decided to throw a bottle at a group of passing blokes. One of them was hit in the head. His brother was ...not happy, came back to demand "Who threw the bottle?" None of us had a clue (because the guy who threw the bottle left, like the trouble maker and coward he was). I can vividly see the first punch being thrown. The brother of the victim was asking everyone who threw the bottle. I put my hands up as if to surrender and said something like "Lets stop fighting and get to the bottom of this." He replied, "F**k you too" and his right fist swung around and hit me in the left jaw. At that instant I knew what 'having your lights punched out' meant. A bright flash of light followed by me falling, in slow motion, and landing on m'arse. Legs spread and leaning forward as the blood flowed freely from my upper lip. I ended up with three stitches and my previously perfect lip now bears the slight scar.

2. I bunji jumped off the New River Gorge bridge.

You think I'm stupid or something?! For starters I have a fear of heights. Add to that the fact that I don't trust a rubber-band to keep me from splatting into the water below the highest bridge in the world (well, at least in North America) and you have my lie!

3. I won a 2 year lease on a Jaguar.

I actually had! I filled in one of those forms in a mall. One of those that we KNOW 'no one ever wins'. I won! Drove an S-Type Jaguar Sedan from January 2001 through 2003.

mary_anne_and_vicki_arrive.jpg

I miss that car. :blink:

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My three...

1) I did work monitoring the nuclear test ban treaty.

2) I accidentally flew into Russian airspace.

3) The company I was working with, in Korea, bought me a woman.

I'm thinking if you were in Korea, then number 2 & 3 are true, and number one is the lie?

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

RAKEHELL-1.jpg

You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

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