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Posted

You know how voice menu systems now tell you to press 1 for English, and 2 for Spanish? How about a button that gets the guy on button 2 to learn English?

Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that?

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Posted

If "pro" is the opposite of "con"...

Therefore...Progress is the opposite of Congress....Right?

Pieter_Claeszoon__Still_Life_with_a.jpg, Skull and Quill Society thWatchDogParchmentBanner-2.jpg, The Watch Dog

"We are 21st Century people who play a game of dress-up and who spend a lot of time pissing and moaning about the rules of the game and whether other people are playing fair."

Posted

:ph34r::P Good one Mad Jack.!

I love the Pyrate Pooh. Very funny..

As for tv i do not watch much of it either. When I had cable i watched TLC and cmt and the old showtunes channel.

Regular tv was Millenium, X-Files those were my faves.

As for Vampyres..I like Anne Rice but I love Christine Feehan.

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If you got a dream chase it, cause a dream won't chase you back...(Cody Johnson Till you Can't)

 

 

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Posted

Ya know it's been one of those days I'd like to just do this to someone blowup.gif

no wait it's been a few of these days of late that I'd rather do this guill.gif

Posted

Hahaaaaa! Well considering I had left over taco meat and made a taco salad yesterday, I suppose that is a good guess.

But no....hmmm, if I go away and don't come back for awhile, maybe it'll all be duked out over in Initates Forum....at this rate...not a chance in hell. scull-vi.gif

Posted

Scary, but true:

Subject: Health Care

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same

complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip

replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The second sees his family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for a year from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Golden Retriever. The second is a Senior Citizen

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Posted

I have to tell you about my refrigerator. I have one of those apartment size ones.

Well it's suppose to be set at #5, but then nothing in the freezer freezes...nothing like runny ice cream.

The same happens when it's set at the next number, 6. So that leaves me to set it at #7. Well the end result is, everything in the freezer freezes, and so do things in the frige depending on where items are placed. Especially in the back or on the top shelf.

Nothing worse than trying to break an egg for something to discover it comes out in a glob, frozen. :o

Or trying to make potatoe salad the other day and the six eggs I had hard boiled...are frozen! Sure it was easy getting the shell off, but trying to put the frozen egg into the slicer, ugh not happening! <_<

So after running warm water over the de-shelled frozen eggs, they are just pliable enough to put through the slicer.

I had some left over sliced thinly carrots I was going to give the parrot as a snack today, sure enough frozen solid in the refrigerator!

Aye carumba! Ah yes you too can have the coldest refrigerator in your apartment, even freezes in the frige area for you. :lol:

Posted

I found out the most comfortable place for me to sleep when my back is screwed up is on my dog's bed.

My mattress is TOO old and is falling apart. I slept on it after hurting my back a couple weeks ago and my back continues to hurt. I tried sleeping on the floor figuring a hard surface may help my muscles out. Naw. That didn't work either.

Last night I was talking with my parents about getting a new mattress set when I looked down at my dog lying on his bed. He's a Rottweiler. When I bought him as a puppy, I spent big bucks buying his bed to help avoid hip dysplasia which is common in large breed dogs.

Anyhow, it has a center of medical grade foam with eggcrate foam on each side. I kicked the dogs outside, flipped the bed over, threw down a blanket and went to sleep. I actually did a situp to get off the bed this morning instead of rolling over and trying to push myself up!

Friggin' weirdo pyrates.... :ph34r:

Drunken_Parrot_Bar_Sign.jpg

You will be flogged. And God willing, come morning, you will be flogged some more.

  • 3 months later...
Posted

I'll be over faster than a barefooted jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in August in Arizona in the middle of a heat wave with his ass on fire.

I know, ths is out of nowhere. I just love the imagery. ;)

Posted
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/casinoroyale/site/

Looks pretty good. I hope the trailer music is on the CD...

After seeing the new James Bond naked in Tomb Raider, I'd walk over hot coals to see Casino Royal. :lol::huh:

...schooners, islands, and maroons

and buccaneers and buried gold...

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You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you. But if you're a good navigator, a least you'll know where you were when you died.......From The Ship Killer by Justin Scott.

"Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."....Captain Jack Sparrow

Found in the Ruins — Unique Jewelry

Found in the Ruins — Personal Blog

Posted
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/casinoroyale/site/

Looks pretty good. I hope the trailer music is on the CD...

After seeing the new James Bond naked in Tomb Raider, I'd walk over hot coals to see Casino Royal. :huh::huh:

A curious standard by which to plan your movie viewing opportunities...

Say, in the trailer the girl says something about "keeping my eyes off your perfectly formed..." something. What? It sounds like "owls" to me.

Well, I found out that the trailer music was arranged and written by Jeff and Rob Pfeifer (not David Arnold who is the usual Bond composer. He's scoring this movie). So it will probably never appear on any CD. :lol:

"You're supposed to be dead!"

"Am I not?"

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Posted

Well, it's done. October 1st has arrived, and I've replaced the Stars & Stripes with the pyratical ensign displayed proudly off our front porch. :) :lol:

Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that?

Posted

What, did the budget get approved or something, Jim? You getting paid again? :lol:

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Building an Empire... one prickety stitch at a time!

Posted

Eh im just desperate for a reason to celebrate. And fiscal new years makes as much sense as regular new years. Or as I like to call it, Happy New Calendar Day! When I'm in charge, new years will be on the winter solstice like its supposed to be. :lol:

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I thought it was supposed to be the Spring Equinox?

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Building an Empire... one prickety stitch at a time!

Posted

After working my butt off, I got a raise at the end of August and was told it would show up in my September 29th paycheck. My raise paperwork was sent to the parent company with raise forms for two other employees.

My raise didn't come on the 29th, so I complained to my boss and the parent company. Turns out they lost two out of the three raise forms they recieved (the forms were all in the same packet). The woman in payroll assured my boss that the raises would be in the next paycheck (the 13th) with retropay for the money lost from the raise not being applied to the 29th. So two new raise forms were sent out.

So I just recieved my paystub for tomorrow's paycheck today. No raise. No retropay. Worst of all we aren't supposed to be given the paystubs until tomorrow. So I can't even call payroll or my boss to complain.

I think I'm going to go postal. B)

Posted

I was just wondering ....

I went outside for a smoke, and the cat that came with the house had just caught a field mousie....

How can a cat make a mousie sound sooooo dang crunchy ? :huh:

Posted

When I was married my ex- was going down the hallway to get ready for work where she found one of the cats sitting in the middle of the hallway holding a mouse between its paws. She vividly recounted for me the sound made when the cat looked down from her and abruptly bit the mouse's head off. I understand it was sort of a loud crunch. My ex- is usually pretty sharp and cool-headed, but that seemed to really unnerve her. (I inherted the other cat - the useless one who actually ran away from a mouse once. :lol: ) (Although I am not kidding.)

Hey, since this is random topics...

I saw Roving Mars at the local IMAX theatre this weekend. It's not what you'd call the most exciting movie, nor do I really understand why this was made as an IMAX movie...but it's really nice to see NASA succeeding at space exploration. Those two rovers have outlasted their expected lives several times over through good design, some clever manuvering by the JPL folks here on Earth and more than a little bit of luck. They continue to roam the surface of Mars. Kudos to Disney for making a nice little upbeat film about the plucky little robots wandering around our sister planet.

"You're supposed to be dead!"

"Am I not?"

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