the Royaliste Posted August 25, 2003 Posted August 25, 2003 Bloody flippin' 'eck, thats a gross one...
captweaver65 Posted August 26, 2003 Author Posted August 26, 2003 Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted August 26, 2003 Author Posted August 26, 2003 An unlucky sailor named Foster caught a mermaid while fishing off Gloucester. To his lasting regret, when he reached in the net, she slipped through his hands and he lost her. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted August 26, 2003 Posted August 26, 2003 Brace yerselves!!!! Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted August 26, 2003 Posted August 26, 2003 Monty Python reference... the funniest joke in the world, supposedly.. kills anybody who reads it.. assuming you read BAD German... and even then it don't translate real well... "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted August 28, 2003 Posted August 28, 2003 :) So, this mate and a lass were discussin' who enjoyed sex the most, men or women. The mate says, of course, it's men, look at how obsessed we are with getting laid. the Lass says, 'well, look at it like this....your ear itches...you take your finger and scratch it...when you pull your finger out, which feels better, your finger , or your ear???
Mad Maudlin McCrumb Posted August 28, 2003 Posted August 28, 2003 AAAHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHA! That's cool, seriously!! "You have a woman's skin, m'lord! I'll wager that hides never been rubbed with salt and flayed off to make stockin's for a pirates best cabin boy!"
the Royaliste Posted August 28, 2003 Posted August 28, 2003 Thought ye'd like it.... left me wonderin',tho..........
captweaver65 Posted August 29, 2003 Author Posted August 29, 2003 I've been workin too hard- it took me a whole day to get that one. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted August 29, 2003 Author Posted August 29, 2003 The young whale trainer had a fit, "By the teeth of me lover I was bit" "I thot that me whale was a sexy female, an I was just testing the fit." Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted August 30, 2003 Author Posted August 30, 2003 There once was a barmaid named Gale On whose breasts was the menu for ale But since she was kind For the sake of the blind On her ass it was printed in Braille Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
the Royaliste Posted August 30, 2003 Posted August 30, 2003 Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,Weaver,RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
the Royaliste Posted August 30, 2003 Posted August 30, 2003 :) Might hafta hang that'n on the bulkhead, gettin' a mite hard to see meself!
captweaver65 Posted August 30, 2003 Author Posted August 30, 2003 :) Might hafta hang that'n on the bulkhead, gettin' a mite hard to see meself! old man Neptune takes his tole on us all,but ya always hafta keep a good humor about it. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted September 2, 2003 Author Posted September 2, 2003 some more of me posts have gone an been pirated AAAARRRRRRRR!!!!! Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted September 2, 2003 Author Posted September 2, 2003 There was an old salt on the Banks, Who said to a mermaid, "No thanks. The last time I tried Those scales took my hide Clear off from my crotch to my shanks." Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
crow Posted September 2, 2003 Posted September 2, 2003 This feller walks into a candy shoppe an walks over to the nut counter and points at a bin and askes what kind of nuts they are , the clerk says cashews at .45 cents a pound . The man says thats to high so he points to another bin and the clerk says those are wallnuts @ .35 cents a pound the man says "thats to high .." finally the man points to the clerk's nose and says what's that ? And the clerk replies thats my nose ... And the man says "Your nose I thought it was your dick cause your nuts are so high" ... :) Lord above please send a dove with wings as sharp as razors , to cuts the throats of them there blokes what sells bad booze to sailors .. " Illigitimiti non carborundum . "
captweaver65 Posted September 3, 2003 Author Posted September 3, 2003 There was a young sailor named Fred. who once took a mermaid to bed. He said, to be blunt, "you don't have a cunt, so why don't you blow me, instead!" Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
crow Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 A sailor puts into san fransico after 10 months at sea and heads into the first brothel he comes to . He puts $400. into the Madame's hand and says that he wants the ugliest woman in the house and the madame says that for a $100. more he could have the best room in the house and the most beautiful girl in the house. To which the sailor replies " Madame you missunderstand me I'm not horny I'm homesick ..." Lord above please send a dove with wings as sharp as razors , to cuts the throats of them there blokes what sells bad booze to sailors .. " Illigitimiti non carborundum . "
captweaver65 Posted September 4, 2003 Author Posted September 4, 2003 crow,love yer new avatar Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
captweaver65 Posted September 4, 2003 Author Posted September 4, 2003 There was a pirate from Australia, Who went on a wild bacchanalia. He buggered a hog, Two mice and a dog, And a bishop in fullest regalia. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
crow Posted September 5, 2003 Posted September 5, 2003 There once was a man from Vancouver who tried to make love to a hoover , he got quite the shock when he shoved in his cock and no he is pushing up clover . And thanks the avatar is a little somat that I had lyin around. Lord above please send a dove with wings as sharp as razors , to cuts the throats of them there blokes what sells bad booze to sailors .. " Illigitimiti non carborundum . "
captweaver65 Posted September 6, 2003 Author Posted September 6, 2003 A stupid young pirate named Jim, Gave oral to a shark on a whim. He gave it great head, But now sadly, he's dead, 'Cuz the shark took his turn to eat him. Capt Weaver "No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company. " Dr. Samuel Johnson Capt Weaver's Pirate Perversions
 {if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)}; if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0'; n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script', 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '1074427760321280'); fbq('track', 'PageView'); </script> <noscript><img height=)
&ev=PageView&cd%5Bitem_id%5D=143&cd%5Bitem_name%5D=Pirate+Jokes+%26+Evil+Humour&cd%5Bitem_type%5D=topic&cd%5Bcategory_name%5D=Scuttlebutt"/>
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now