The Privy Wall

[the Royaliste]

"Stopped in 'ere to takes a whiz,

Started laffin' whilst I read this 'biz'.

Laffed so hard I let 'er dangle,

wif' nary a care 'bout the yella stream's angle.

Kinda went everywhere during the fall,

E'en scribed 'double 'RR's upon the wall.

So now me boot's on top 'o this keg,

Whilst I tries to dry me own pantleg!!"

"Good one 'bout the 'dirk', 'Quill!"

[Rumba Rue]

(The initals RRRRRn't bad, either!)

RRRRR:

R- Raucously

R- Resouceful

R- Recreational

R -Responding

R- Receptacle

Better known as WENCH.

Rumba Rue

**She's a pirate wench if she's got RRRRR on her quarters**

[captweaver65]

"Stopped in 'ere to takes a whiz,

Started laffin' whilst I read this 'biz'.

Laffed so hard I let 'er dangle,

wif' nary a care 'bout the yella stream's angle.

Kinda went everywhere during the fall,

E'en scribed 'double 'RR's upon the wall.

So now me boot's on top 'o this keg,

Whilst I tries to dry me own pantleg!!"

"Good one 'bout the 'dirk', 'Quill!"

HARR! HARR! HARR!

[TalesOfTheSevenSeas]

Speaking o' receptacles.... damn Captain! What happened in here? Ye flooded the bilge!!! Better get a grip on yer...eh... "dirk" lad!!!

[the Royaliste]

Returning to the privy, the odor is becoming so unbearable that instead 'o takin' another whiz, I search thru me seabag, remove one size regular pineapple-shaped grenado, light the wick, hold me nose, an' float it 'cross the hole...shut the stall door an' head back to the ship......

[TalesOfTheSevenSeas]

And whoooooooooooooooooooo's fault might the smell be, eh?!!! :)

*hands the captain a mop*

[the Royaliste]

*Hollers back towards the privy..*..."Hmmm, not me, but, that fuse be a' gittin' mighty short!!...

(Ducks the impending expolsion)

[BLACK JACK SHALAQ]

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

THEY LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF

PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY

WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO

IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,

A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,

NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,

JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES

OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,

AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT

CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,

IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,

ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,

SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR

IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,

THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,

NOT HOW I PICTURED

A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO

OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,

THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES

THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS

WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,

THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE

A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM

EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,

LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER

HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE

IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT

BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY KNEES

AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED

AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

"SANTA DON'T CRY,

THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,

I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD,

MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER

AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,

I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,

SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED

FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE

ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR

SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,

IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,

AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT,"

-HOORAH

[Merrydeath]

Opens a cask of Rum for all those who serve and can't be home for Thanksgiving.

Bows head and wishes them well to whatever power they believe in.

Has a big wreath of Mistletoe for Ded Fred to wear.. sent t to the Royaliste with attached note-

Love the Ded Fred, had one in my tree for Halloween last year. Thought Fred could use a little TLC, so here is a wreath for him. The wreath is from Johnny Depp. He was named Sexiest man of the Year from People magazine. He won't need it...

[Coastie04]

The Night Before Christmas on the Barque Picton Castle

By Pasha Greathead

'Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the barque

Not a cockroach was stirring

(and, boy was it dark!)

The ditty bags were hung

In the forepeak with care

In hopes that Santa

Soon would be there

The daymen were nestled

All snug in their beds

Visions of marlin spikes

Danced in their heads

The 8-12 watch

Had taken the deck

And Tom Ward was scowling

And giving them heck

Up in the fo'c'sle

I'd hung up my knife

And just settled in

For the short pre-watch night

But out on deck

Arose such a clatter

I leapt from my rack

To see what's the matter

By the baleful glow

Of the starboard running light

I beheld a strange

And terrible sight

Nine tiny reindeer

Were tangled aloft

Kicking and bleating

And starting to cough

The sleigh full of gifts

I saw not a sign

(It was tangled astern

In the distance log line)

And where's St. Nick?

To complete this story.

He's peering over the side

Of the half-finished dory

Helping him down

From the galley rooftop

He grimaced as he caught

Sight of the disaster atop

We set straight to work

And hauled in his sleigh

Santa grabbed his gifts

And started on his way

Treatises on seamanship

He left for the mates

And for the cats

Some freshly caught bait

The 8-12 watch scrambled

Up to the yard

And freed all the reindeer

(It wasn't that hard)

The reindeer slid down

The mainsail so white

Bleating and kicking

They seemed quite all right

On the Bosun's door frame

Was carefully hung

A beautiful stocking

Full of sew twine and mung

A big tub of grease

He explained with a laugh

An awfully good present

for the king of PFAFF!

The Captain too

Not to be forgotten

A nice new sarong

Of Indian cotton

Santa went forward

And into the salon

He passed out his gifts

And then he carried on

A big present here

A little gift there

Copper nails for Kim,

Sheet music for Claire

Up into the fo'c'sle

Presents small and large

A guitar string for Rigel

Sail twine for Marge

He carried on outside

One more to go!

A bag of coal to the galley

For the cooks, don't ya know

The reindeer were ready

In line on the hatch

The sleigh was all dry

It's a magic sleigh, natch

Santa leapt in the sleigh

It was a beautiful sight

Rudolph's nose was aglow

Like the port running light

The reindeer reared up

All snug in their traces

And leapt off the deck

(Just missing the braces)

And I heard him yell

As he flew off more quickly

Fair winds to all,

You square-rig mickey-fickies!!

[the Royaliste]

"Hmmm, ...Wonder why that grenado din' go off!"...Peers around privy door, see's that, much to my dismay, a wave 'o sludge 'as put the Flippin' wick out!!.......Heads back shipboard, and begins strippin' a carronade offa the deck, intent on a fine methane chain reaction......

[Hawkyns]

Ya know, this thread is just a bit too close ta home. Went ta Ft. Mifflin in Philly to shoot cannon and musket. Had a nice warm barracks under the wall by the gate. Then th' damn tide came up- real high! Seems there's a bloody great crack in the seawall. 8 inches of water in the barracks, nicely filtered through the salt marsh/swamp between the sea wall and the fort. Hope I get this stuff clean by next Friday, or they'll smell me all over Key West!!

SO KEEP YER POWDER AND GRANADOES DRY!!!!

Hawkyns

[BLACK JACK SHALAQ]

Ol' Black Jack watched from the dock.

As his Man-o-war twas' careened to the starboard n' blocked.

He stood thar silent wit nutin' ta do but puke n' wheez wit da blasted flu.

He coughed n' hacked a nasty green hock.

Blazes n' damnation Black Jack's got the ROT!..........again.

Black Jack

[RyannMacGregor]

Ol' Black Jack watched from the dock.

As his Man-o-war twas' careened to the starboard n' blocked.

He stood thar silent wit nutin' ta do but puke n' wheez wit da blasted flu.

He coughed n' hacked a nasty green hock.

Blazes n' damnation Black Jack's got the ROT!..........again.

Black Jack

Welcome to the crew Black Jack. Speedy recovery.

[the Royaliste]

Mixes up another batch 'o Captain Morgan's, Thera-Flu, an' gunpowder, passin' it around once more...

[El Pirata]

Mixes up another batch 'o Captain Morgan's, Thera-Flu, an' gunpowder, passin' it around once more...

Black Jack might be likin that.

[RyannMacGregor]

Just make sure he's not smoking when served.

[BLACK JACK SHALAQ]

Royaliste me fine lad,

Please whip me up a batch .....pronto!..........Please!

[El Pirata]

Just make sure he's not smoking when served.

Aye lass, Black Jack might be likin that too.

[Lucky Penny Hawkings]

Did I hear...Pineapple?

*Perks from out of hiding with fire-providing implements*

[Saber]

I think I"m getting sick myself, might need a bit of that Capt'n Morgans magic healing drink..

[RyannMacGregor]

Oh dear...they be droppin' like flies in 'ere.

Be all that hard work on the Land Shark. Get better, soon Saber.

[the Royaliste]

:) 'Tosses Saber a bottle 'o the potion, Grins at Penny'...

*Starts packin' up another grenado mysteriously resemblin' a certain 'pineapple'...

(Considers 'stuffin' their turkey wif' it!)

[El Pirata]

Did I hear...Pineapple?

*Perks from out of hiding with fire-providing implements*

Pineapple like Piña Colada, yummy.

[Lucky Penny Hawkings]

:) 'Tosses Saber a bottle 'o the potion, Grins at Penny'...

*Starts packin' up another grenado mysteriously resemblin' a certain 'pineapple'...

(Considers 'stuffin' their turkey wif' it!)

Behold: Pineapple Alert!

*ducks!*