Blind Rhoid Pyle

Yellowbeard be very popular wif the fans of Cheech and Chong, as they appear in it. I lost a right tasty eBay auction for a Yellowbeard presskit overflowin' wif photos, to a Cheech and Chong lovin' lubber. Yellowbeard be more Python than Cheech & Chong, less'n ya figger in their Corsican Borthers movie, which had it's metits and belongs in that Bad Movies thread we 'ad.

Gee, Cap'n Coyote, again we be like minded 'ere. Scary. An' I feels right sorry fer ya, havin' strange tastes in stuff like me. Forward Into The Past. But in keepin' wif the thread, it does amaze me, wif Christmas and Cha-nooka comin' up an all, ya'd think the Disney folks be pushin' more POTC merchandise than they 'ave. Not even a bloody calendar. Yet I see they be pushin' Brother Bear pretty strong an all. Now I got some little bilgerats, and theys seen POTC five or six times already (more'n me) an' they'd rather see it in theaters again than go see Brother Bear. Ahhh, me boys. I be bringin' 'em up right.

"There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats." -Ratty said to Mole in Kenneth Grahame's beloved 1908 classic, The Wind in the Willows.

My favorite female pirate is Mr. Prostitute from Yellowbeard.

Lovely shade o' pink there Zeph. Ya threw me by the reference, though.

I'll check it out. Thankee muchly.

Mostly they viewed them through telescopes from a safe distance.

Aye, Yellowbeard be long overdue on DVD. There may not be much in the way of "Special Features" and extras and stuff. Maybe they can include the "Crimson Permanent Assurance" segement from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" as a bonus. Accountancy Shanty Eric Idle & John Du Prez LEAD PIRATE: Full speed ahead, Mr. Cohen! CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: Scribble away! CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: And balance the books. CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: Scribble away! CHORUS: Up, up, up your premium. PIRATE: But manage the books. CHORUS: Up, up, up. PIRATES: It's fun to charter an accountant And sail the wide accountancy, To find, explore the funds offshore And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy! It can be manly in insurance. We'll up your premium semi-annually. It's all tax deductible. We're fairly incorruptible, We're sailing on the wide accountancy! LEAD PIRATE: Oh, this is fun, Mr. Cohen! PIRATE: Sail away!... CHORUS: Up, up, up... LEAD PIRATE: Fetch me another exotic salute. To port! Bring her port to shell out! And the medium guys shell out to port! Balance the books! Bring me another small shellfish, Mr. Cohen...

All You Pretty Girls Andy Partridge From the XTC album "The Big Express" Do something for me, boys If I should die at sea, boys Write a little note, boys Set it off afloat, saying Chorus: Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls Village and city girls by the quayside Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls Watching and waiting by the sea Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls Quiet or witty girls by the quayside Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls Watching and waiting by the sea I think about your pale arms waving When I see the caps upon the green And the rocking roller-coaster ocean Think about you every night when I'm fathoms asleep And in my dreams We are rocking in a similar motion Chorus I think about the salt sea rolling Down in pearly tears upon your cheeks Just like the day the harbour pulled away I think about your warm white sheets unfolding The more I have to drink The more that I can think to say

Sailor Kevin Godley & Lol Creme Sailor, I love you, but you only love the sea Sailor, why don't you love me? Like a ship in a bottle, you ache for the sea, Sailor, ache a little for me. I'll haunt every harbor 'til the sea decides, If our love goes in or out with the tide, I'll still be here when the ocean's dried, Oh Sailor, you're still my man. Sailor, I love you, but you only love the sea Sailor, why don't you love me?

I be thankin' ye fer that fine rendition, Jess. Never knew there were so many words.

If you wore the bodice with the Mermaid costume, could we all sing... "My Bodice Lies Over The Ocean...?"

At the second site I was Captain Harry Flint... But at the first site I was... Fancy Pants Pete! Hey, stop that laughin' now! I wanna be talkin' to the administrator of that site!

Remember the royal anthem of the Kilted Yaksmen! Come on everybody, follow the bouncing skull... Our country reeks of trees Our yaks are really large And they smell like rotting beef carcasses... And we have to clean-up after them And our saddle sores are the best. We proudly wear women's clothing. And searing sand blows up our skirts. And buzzards, they soar overhead. And poisonous snakes devour us whole. Our bones will bleach in the sun. And we will probably go to * * * *. And that is our great reward For being the - uh - roy-yal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen

Michael Rennie took ill, the day the Earth stood still, and he showed us where to stand... Science Fiction Double Feature from The Rocky Horror (Picture) Show The actual phrase is Klaatu Barada Nichto. Does anyone remember the band Klaatu, and can name their "Hit"?

Well, authentic pipes of the golden age of piracy were undoubtedly made of clay. I'm not a stickler for authenticity for my own piratin' purposes, still, for the sake of those of us who are, I'm glad this information is available. Heather of Darwinmist Studios also says: Oh right, yes the Dutch pipes... I have one of these caps in my collection as I have about 200-300 Dutch pipes and like to collect these. The dutch often used these on their pipes which is why the rims are nearly always sooted up black on the outer side. Sometimes you can see where the rim fitted as it left some lines "ghosts" in the soot. There were a variety of styles of the caps, with chains etc. Some were like little nets. I heard that they also smoked them upsidedown int he rain and the ash caps were meant to stop the ash from falling out. The typical period in Dutch history for these I believe was about 1680-1850. The Dutch supplied Germany with many of their pipes and lidded pipes were common throughout Europe but not in England until the mid-late 19th century. The caps were sometimes very ornate although the cheaper ones on the Dutch pipes I have seen have lots of little legs that bend around the bowl so that they can fit almost any shape.

Brilliant captweaver65 , just what I was looking for. I had difficulty navigating that German site before, thanks for doing the legwork.

The lovely Heather at Darwinmist Studios a maker of fine clay pipes, and other works of art, had this to offer. She also sells some nice clay pipes. If we are talking typical white clay tobacco pipes of those times then most of them were fairly plain with stems of about a hand span or two on the longer ones. Generally it is thought the captain would have enjoyed a nice long pipe were-as the sailors would have the shorter ones, or broken off stumps. They used to sharpen them with their knives on the Dutch ones especially because the stems were really thick and needed shaping smaller and being at sea for a long time meant you had to make do with what you had. Dutch sailors from 1620 to 40 also favoured a pipe called a Jonas pipe... it's clay and the bowl is shaped like a mans head with beard facing the smoker with a crocodile head facing the man. English pipes practically all plain with bowls of about half to 1 inch high and a milled line around the rim. The USA was making pipes but many were exported from England with better products, although the Dutch were also supplying in other parts of the USA. Dutch and English pipes vary in shape quite a lot.

The original concept for this thread was "Films that are so bad, they're good" but while we're on the subject of Mel Brooks, let me mention a film that is so bad it stinks on ice! This is a Mel Brooks homage, and ol' Mel even appears in it. For years I attributed this waste of celluloid to Brooks, but thankfully it's not one of his. The Silence of the Hams This film was made in Italy, and fortunately did not spawn a string of spaghetti-comedies. This piece of crud stars Billy Zane, as Joe Dee Fostar. Get it? See, they're making fun of Jodie Foster. Oh, hilarity! (In the end he appears in a dress for no logical reason.) There's a plethora of bad movie actors to fill the screen: Dom DeLuise, Henry Silva, the dork from Grease and many other films, Martin Balsam, Mel Brooks, and John Astin (you know, Gomez Addams). I've woken up with better film on my teeth!

Groucho actually lifted that line from British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli. But he did say... "Ah, I can see you right now bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove!"

Sorry about the double post up there... it was late... I got the following from a pipe maker: As gathered from the other posts, the pipe must have been clays. The interesting part is the line "without cap to his Pipe". I have looked at a lot of clays but never seen one with a cap. I guess the cap would be a small clay holed cap probably attached by a cord. I can't see a hindged cap being incorporated onto a clay unless a metal collar was employed and I have never seen collars on the clays that are dug up. But that's not to say that there wasn't such a thing. This leaves 2 possibilities: 1) The clay had a small cap attached by a cord and these caps would most likely be transferred to the new pipe when the old one got broken. They would also be prone to getting lost or seperated from the pipe so the chance of one showing up on an archeological dig would be remote. Also the fact that these were probably exclusively a maritime piece of equipment would also make them rare. 2) A metal collar with a hindged cap that could be transferred from pipe to pipe. This would also be hard to come by for the same reasons mentioned above. I have not seen these either but I have never thought to look for them. It is possible that they are out there but perhaps their use is unknown and not classified properly. This is all pure speculation but simply the mention of pipes being capped during that time period is new to me. I am putting forward theories that would be the most likely answer but I could be way off base from what was the actual pratice. This is demanding some further research as I am really curious and would really like to know what was used. John G. Haddo's in a Royal Danish

It's actually a remake of a Jack Benny film. Mel Brooks added a ton of gags to the original script. My favorite dialogue is: Bronski: War? What do I care about war? My interest is in the theatre! Salinski: But Mr. Bronski, the Nazis are rounding up all the Jews, gypsies and homosexuals! Bronski: My God! Without Jews, gypsies and homosexuals... there IS no theatre!

Thank ya fer the information, matey! I'd like to see what these pyrate period pipes looked like, and see if I can find similar ones today. I knew a maker of pipes once, maybe I can get the skinny from 'im... if so, I'll post 'is reply.

Ahhh, thank ye for the information, matey. Still, I be interested to see what these period pipes looked like, and see if someone is makin' these today. If not, maybe it'd be a good opportunity for someone to produce reproduction tobaccoania.

A little pipe history, which does nothin' to answer me original question! 2000 BC Remains of tobacco leaves and pipes are found in Egyptian mummies. This is yet to be explained scientifically. 1500 BC Pipes are used by North American indians for ceremonial purposes and as a symbol of reconciliation. 300 AD The Greek doctor Hypocrites used smoke inhalation from herbs as remedy for certain female diseases. 1000 The herb "Angelikarot" is smoked in pipes in Norway. 1492 Columbus discovers (or maybe rediscovers) America and the use of tobacco. 1519 The tobacco plant reaches Europe. 1559 Jean Nicot launches the tobacco plant as a multiremedy; among the french royalties it becomes fashionable to "sneeze away the headache". 1580 Chalk pipes are mass produced - mostly for mariners. 1586 A ban on smoking is included in the ten revised commandments in Switzerland. 1600 Iron pipes are used in Norway, also among the laps. 1604 The first anti tobacco campaign is launched by Jacob I. of England. 1618-1648 During the 30 years war, pipe smoking gains recognition throughout Europe. 1619-1630 Christian IV of Denmark & Norway punishes smoking on ships by keel-hauling. 1630 Death penalty is received for smoking in Turkey, Russia and China. These punishments seem to disappear when the regents discover the enormous tax income tobacco can generate. 1720 Meerschaum is discovered and becomes the highest regarded pipe material. 1820 The cigar becomes fashionable in western Europe. 1840 From its birthplace in Jura, France, the briar pipe gains world popularity. 1853-1856 The war at Crimea makes the the cigarette familiar to the west from Turkey. 2003 Blind Rhoid Pyle wonders what kind of pipes pirates used.