LongTom

long foretold appearance of

he cast a sharp

Yeah, you get 8 full seconds to read and answer each question. Don't let the blasted thing rush you.

I got a 23, and then I got a 28. I guess my intelligence goes down when confronted with a timer.

medium-rare

Relatively new to pyracy, meself, but I have had one event that fits the topic reasonably. April of this year I went to the Channel Islands for four days of helping out on Royaliste for a film shoot. This included starting to take the rig down afterwards (so she could be transported overland), which was a double-shotted blast to participate in. Many thanks again to the masters and crew of that fine vessel, and if any of you reading this ever hear of a chance to sign the articles with these good people, go out of your way to take it. At the beginning of the drive home I stopped in at the Ventura County Maritime Museum, home of the largest collection of ship models on the west coast. After three days at sea, and a six hour drive between me and the next time I'd be in the vicinity, obviously not a venue to be lightly passed up; but it was shortly before closing time, and I hadn't changed back into moderns. The ladies running the front desk absolutely did not know what to make of this apparition. They plainly thought me quite capable of commandeering one of their hulls and making off with it. (Though I was entirely well-behaved; didn't even get dirt or sweat on any of their glass cases.) On the same trip, I dropped into the local drugstore/variety store for some CD-Rs (to take copies of the digital photos home with me after the shooting). The girl at the cash register looked distinctly quizzical, what with the anachronism between the purchase and purchaser. Alas, to my dying day I will regret lacking the quick wit for the obvious explanation for the CD-R's: "...software pirate."

Are you implying that someone around here needs to conduct his piratical captaincy with just a skosh more gravitas? Very well, then. I have a wooden model of a galleon, (the San Francisco II) which is awaiting an opportune time to lay the keel and commence planking. The kit mentions approx. 120 hours to complete. I've also been playing around a bit with scratch-built models of a size appropriate for putting in a bottle, but it is clear I have a lot to learn about knots and general ship-in-a-bottle technique before I take the plunge and ruin a perfectly good 1.75 liter Jack Daniels.

I have a little plastic squeezy bath toy ship with Kermit the Frog as Captain Smollett. You fill it with water and squeeze, and the cannon squirts.

monotonous

Wait... where's the link to the Web Quiz for this, again?

Yah... the Clampers..... ECV Ah, yes... E Clampus Vitus. So does that mean that pre-eclampsia is just an insufficiency of ale? .. oh, yes, almost forgot. Emperor Norton, naturally. (Teddy from Arsenic and Old Lace would not be far off the mark, either. Come to think of it, though, there's scarcely a man Jack among us, nor a Jill, for that matter, who rightly ought to settle for mere historical loon, what with the plenitude of the stuff to be found right at home.)

I, too, have been Rudolphed. (isn't that some sort of new-age chiropractic thingie?) "Nose, Nose, Jolly Red Nose, and who gave thee thy Jolly Red Nose? Cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cloves, and that gave me my Jolly Red Nose!"

rakishly, while he tossed

Heh heh. Put one in the kiln with a wet spot in the clay, did ye?

For duds, I'd say make 'em the regular way, and then fill 'em up with black tile grout. (Or for that matter, plain old plaster, then drop a little ink on the top of the fill, once it's set; but you may end up with a white plaster mess where you don't want it.) It would take a pretty determined idiot to hollow one of those out again and blow himself up with it.

and a chest of

farted in Morse Code.

The O'Brian books are an interesting variant on the practice. Royal Navy, to be sure, but there is the element of prize money for captures, which is an awful lot like privateering, which is sort of like piracy. The time period isn't GAoP either, but too bad. The info on shipboard life is still fascinating.

Ye can offer to take care of the problem in yer own way. (Like smushin' up said coke can so there are no sharp edges stickin' out before handin' it back. "So what you want is no sharp edges, aye?" Crunch, smash... "Problem solved, luv." )

Here's a minor variant on Dread Pirate that makes it a little more kid-friendly for the youngest set. At least in our family, the privilege of decorating one's ship with the Dread Pirate flag is prized quite out of proportion with the value within the game (though indeed, being first to claim Dread Pirate status renders that player so much more powerful as to practically clinch the game at that point). We changed the rules so that every player that gets to Dread Island can become a Dread Pirate, instead of only one at a time. To that end we made up additional pirate flags so that there are plenty to choose from -- in the process celebrating some of the more notorious pirates in our acquaintance, as you can see: I'm still trying to figure out whether achieving Dread Pirate status is too big an advantage when only one at a time is allowed. When playing with a four-year-old, letting everyone be Dread Pirate has saved many a game from a meltdown.

Pew, you seem to be deliberately ignoring the context. He's writing about Pennsic. Pennsic is an SCA event, meaning medieval-ish recreators. Attending that venue in pirate persona -- especially Hollywood pirate persona -- is about as appropriate as it would be at an Elvis impersonators convention. Simply put, it's not the order of the day, and it interferes with what is the order of the day. Whatever his views on hardcore authenticity, until you acknowledge that he is talking about what amounts to party-crashers, your credibility is shot to hell. I strongly suggest you get over it and get back to having your own brand of fun.

Seeing as I missed this last time it was resurrected... "Long Tom" is the name bestowed on a number of notable cannons, apparently some historical as well as some fictional, the most piratical of which is owned by the estimable Jas. Hook of Peter Pan fame. Being that Tom be me given name, and seeing that I'm perhaps overly inclined to shoot my mouth off a bit, it seemed to fit.

They do? <blink, blink> Why?

Ladies and gentlemen, Hacksaw Riley! Let's everyone give him a hand!

Mine? It's my ugly mug, of course.