Sterling waited impatiently, knowing all too well that March would now be the last person to pass on the order for Mr. Straw to make his way to the captain's quarters for a matter of importance. Ordinarily, Sterling would have been livid for his orders to be so blatantly disobeyed but Andrew March had been a friend for many years and not just a drinking companion. Sterling highly valued his first officer's opinion in all things, so now, he could only try to keep his temper in check and settle back to think about what the angry Scot had to say. After all, it would not be the first time March had been right about something in one of their disagreements.
A number of times he unfolded and re-read the actress's letter. It would be so simple for him to ease back into her company. She knew how to please him and yet, she had never been able to give her full attentions to him and him alone. Maybe he was wrong, but when it came to the woman he wished to love, he did not wish to share her with any one else except his children and family. Still, Lilly could be considerate and caring to the point of spoiling him. He found himself smiling at the thought but only briefly when he remembered how many other men he had, had to compete with for her attentions and on a regular basis.
His thoughts turned to his new bride. He was all too well aware of how quickly a mere infatuation extinguished itself and he could only wonder if that was what his wife was now experiencing. How little he knew her and he now wished he had taken his time in his pursuit of her. But being shot had unsettled his judgement. Perhaps, with more time, he could have made himself better acquainted with the other members of her clan. He knew not all would except him, but some might, given more time. Perhaps then he would not feel so shut out of the things that mattered to Aurore. He had been shut out of enough things during his life time, he did not wish to be isolated from his wife's affairs. He also knew family was of the utmost importance to her as it was to him, unfortunately, it was something, except for his brief time with Tess, that he had never really come to know well. Perhaps the future Lilly had to offer him was the only offer of happiness that life would present to him. And yet, as he lay there, his heart ached for Aurore so much so that he would rather be shot again than to feel such discomfort.